Ashes

Page 31


“I want to see,” Cassie managed to choke out.


The man nodded, but his eyes darted nervously to Chris and Devon. It was more than apparent that he wanted them to step in and attempt to change her mind. “Cassie,” Devon said softly, reaching out to gently touch her arm.


She jerked back, her eyes darting wildly to him. Dismay and hurt filled his emerald eyes, worry and love radiated from him. Again, Cassie felt herself wavering in the face of that love. For a moment the fury melted as anguish blazed forth. She opened her mouth to speak, her heart flipped wildly in her chest. Devon could make this a little better, in his arms she could find the shelter that she sought, the protection and love that she so desperately needed right now.


In his arms, she would not hurt as much.


She took a small step toward him before fully recalling why she was here, what it was that she needed to do. She could not continue to hide behind him, she had to face this head on; she could not let this go unresolved. Her grandmother had sacrificed so much for her, had kept her alive when many others had been killed. Yet Cassie had been curled up in Devon’s arms last night, hidden from the world, while her grandmother was being terrorized and murdered.


Hatred swamped her, disgust and self loathing consumed her. Her grandmother deserved far better than what Cassie had given her. Tearing her arm away from Devon, she glared fiercely at him, taking a shuddery breath as she tried to get air past the intense pressure in her chest. “Don’t,” she growled.


His hand fell away, pain blazed from his eyes. He looked quickly to Chris, but Chris wisely chose not to try and dissuade her. “I want to see my grandmother now.”


The man’s dark eyes darted once more to Chris and Devon, when they showed no signs of helping him, his shoulders slumped in defeat. “Please follow me,” he said softly.


Cassie followed stiffly behind him; the stench of the astringent chemicals barely pierced the hard wall encasing her. She was well aware of the fact that from this moment on, her life would never be the same. Well aware of the fact that she would never be the same again.


The man paused outside another door; taking out a key card he slid it through the machine next to the door. The doors opened with a soft whoosh. Fluorescent light filtered on in the room, lighting the hard tile and cold floor. Cassie’s eyes widened as she took in the sheet enshrouded table in the middle. Her heart hammered with the painful certainty that her grandmother lay under that sheet.


No, not her grandmother, the body lay under that sheet.


Cassie shuddered, her fingers dug into the flesh of her arms as she hugged herself tightly. A fierce shaking took hold of her. The man moved forward, glancing briefly back at Cassie before he pulled the sheet slowly back. Chris gasped before turning slightly away. Cassie stood unmoving, her gaze latched onto the side of her grandmothers face. She had been so pretty, so full of life and cheer and love. Now, her delicate features were marred by bruises, and a large bump had formed in the center of her forehead. Scratches and cuts marred what had once been smooth porcelain skin, but that skin was now tinted a bluish gray color. Even her lips had been leached of color and were nearly as white as the walls surrounding them.


It was only a body, Cassie told herself repeatedly. Her grandmother was free now; her spirit was keeping company with the ghosts that she had spoken to in life. Though Cassie tried to convince herself of this, she found no comfort in the words. No solace in the fact that her grandmother was free. She was certain she would never find solace again in the cruel world they resided in.


Though she didn’t want to go any closer to the body, she knew that she must. Moving stiffly forward she paused next to the metal table her grandmother lay upon. For a moment Cassie expected her eyes to snap open, a bright smile to spread across her face as she launched up and yelled surprise. Though it would scare the hell out of her, Cassie found that she wanted nothing more than exactly that to happen.


But as she stood there, staring down at her grandmother’s prone form, she began to realize she would never see her grandmother’s sky colored eyes again. For a brief moment, pain blazed forth again, tears burned her eyes and the hard lump in her throat made it difficult to breathe. With trembling fingers, Cassie reached forward and lightly touched her grandmother’s cheek. Her skin was cold, hard, unyielding. Cassie nearly buckled; nearly fell to the floor as agony swamped her. It was sheer strength of will that kept her standing, kept her breathing.


Ever so slowly, she brushed back her grandmother’s strawberry blond hair. Two jagged tears marked her grandmother’s neck, wounds that could easily be explained by the accident. But Cassie was not fooled into thinking that was what had caused them. No, she knew exactly what monster had put those marks upon her grandmother.


Her hands clenched upon the table, fury and horror suffused her. Rage encompassed her, boiling through her with the force of molten lava, burning away everything that she was, everything that she had ever been. The lava boiled and poured through her, leaving only smoldering ashes in place of the person she had once been.


CHAPTER 21


Devon stood helplessly by, wishing that he could do something for her, but knowing that this was something she had to do on her own. Something that she had to come to terms with in her own way. Unfortunately, her way seemed to be the hardest way possible, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.


Cassie’s hands shook as she pushed aside her grandmother’s hair, her pain and anguish beat against him in rolling waves that made it difficult for him to think. Chris was deathly pale; even his lips were white as he watched Cassie with wide, pain filled eyes. Though Devon could sense Cassie’s pain, Chris seemed to be swamped inside of it, unable to escape from the emotions she emitted in waves. Her pain was so intense that Chris could not turn his telepathic ability off against it.


Chris met Devon’s gaze briefly, his sapphire eyes shimmered with unshed tears. He had also lost someone that he loved deeply. He had lost the woman that had helped to raise him, a woman that had loved him when his own mother couldn’t, or wouldn’t. Devon turned slowly back to Cassie. She was standing stiffly, her eyes locked on the condemning marks on her grandmother’s neck.


Devon’s eyes widened, his skin came alive with the tingling waves of fury and hatred that blasted from her. Chris took an involuntary step back, his head bowed beneath the force of the emotions battering against him. “Cassie,” Devon said gently, frightened by the anger blazing from her.


This was Cassie, his Cassie. Sweet, innocent, and so achingly lovely and loving. She didn’t know how to hate. Or at least she hadn’t before this moment. But now he could feel that hate blazing against him, feel the rage that suffused her, leaving her shaken and shattered. Her head bent, her golden hair cascaded forward as she inhaled shakily. Her slender back heaved slightly with the force of her breaths.


Though she did not want his comfort, he no longer cared. She was going to get it. He could not leave her alone to face this, could not leave her broken and torn. Striding purposely forward, he rested his hands on her shoulders, wanting nothing more than to pull her close and help to ease the feelings blasting from her.


She stood stiffly for a moment, the small tremor in her body reaching him. Then, she turned suddenly, pulling free of him as she spun wildly. “Don’t touch me!” she snapped, her eyes narrowing furiously. Her hands fisted at her sides as she glared at him with fierce loathing.


Devon stood stiffly, shock tearing through him. Though her reaction stunned him, it was what he had seen in her eyes that left him immobile and terrified. “Don’t you ever touch me again! This… this is your fault!”


Dismay tore through him; instinctively he took a step toward her. He wanted to console her, wanted to make this even a small bit better if he could. He also needed to protect her from what he was beginning to fear may lurk inside of her. Something he had been trying to deny about her, but now realized that it was very likely true.


Her eyes narrowed even more. “Stay away from me.” Her voice broke, her body trembled fiercely. “You helped create that monster. You brought him here. He’s here because of you! Not us, but you! He killed her, and it’s your fault!”


Devon felt as if he had been punched, hard. Terror and anguish tore through him. She had forgiven him for so many things, loved him through them all, but this…


Well this had been the final straw. She had been broken; there was no more forgiveness in her. Her beautiful azure, amethyst eyes were bright with anger, gleaming with it. Her small hands were fisted at her sides, her shoulders shook.


Though it no longer beat, he could feel his heart shattering, could feel the darkness swamping up, trying to consume him. Without her, he was nothing. Without her, his life meant nothing. He could feel the monster inside of him turning, twisting to break free, trying to use this as its opportunity to take control once more and return to its killing, wanton ways. Return to slaughtering innocents in its quest to satisfy its unending thirst.


Devon shuddered, his eyes closed as he struggled to maintain control of his own body. No matter what Cassie felt for him now, he could not return to the thing he had once been. If she no longer wanted him, then there was nothing that he could do about it. But she did need him. She needed him to protect her, and to keep her safe. Julian and Isla were still out there, and they would use any opportunity they could to get at her, to destroy her and her friends. If he lost control, she would be vulnerable to them. No matter what happened, he knew that he could not exist in a world that Cassie didn’t live in, even if she didn’t want him in her life.


His gaze darted to the body in the middle of the room. He should have seen this coming. He had been so wrapped up in trying to keep Cassie, Chris, and Melissa safe that he had not thought about Lily. But she had been a prime target also. Despite her age, she was also a Hunter, and she was Cassie’s grandmother.


Julian would want to break Cassie. He would want to toy with her before killing her, and Lily was the perfect way to do so. Julian had touched Cassie, he would know about Lily, and how much Cassie cared for her. Julian’s touch would have allowed him many insights into Cassie’s life, far more insights than Devon was comfortable with.


How had he not seen this coming? Loathing and disgust washed over him as his hands fisted tighter.


Cassie spun away from him, her still damp hair whipping out behind her. “Take me home.”


Chris gaped at her, his eyes wide and questioning. The color had not returned to his face, in fact he seemed even more ashen and hollow. His eyes were dark, worried, withdrawn. “Cassie, don’t do this.”


The words were choked out of him; his voice was hoarse with pleading and sorrow. His eyes darted worriedly to Devon; hopelessness filled his gaze as a small tremor ran through him. Cassie was fairly spitting with fury. “Take me home!” she snapped.


“Cassie…”


She stormed out the door, leaving them both staring after her in shock. Devon was the first to recover. “Go,” he said softly.


Chris’s eyes darted back to him. “Devon…”


“Go,” he growled. It killed him to send another man with her, even if it was Chris, but he could not go with her, and she needed someone. He was not wanted at her side anymore, and to try and get closer to her may very well just push her over the edge. She was standing on a thin precipice as it was, he did not want to be the one that shoved her over. He ached to be the one that comforted her, that held her, but it was not to be. Not anymore. Agony twisted through him, but he stood stiffly, his gaze clashing with Chris’s stunned, agonized one. “Go.”


Chris shook his head. “She’ll come around,” Chris said softly. “She’s just…” He broke off, sighing softly as he ran a hand wearily through his already disheveled hair. “Well, I don’t know what she is right now.”


Chris’s voice trailed off, his eyebrows drew sharply together. He shoved his hands into his pockets but did not move. He looked so lost, so confused and tortured. “That’s not Cassie,” Chris mumbled.


No, it wasn’t Cassie, Devon knew that. What he didn’t know was whether Cassie would come back to them, or if her grief and anger would consume her. “You have to go Chris. She needs someone right now.”


Chris’s gaze darted to him and then back to the doorway. Finally, he settled on Devon again. “I’ll talk to her.”


“It won’t help, not now.”


Chris opened his mouth, and then snapped it shut. Sadness enveloped him. Not only was Chris dealing with his own pain, but Devon’s and Cassie’s were beating against him, tearing down his walls, pounding his soul. “Go.”


“I’m sorry,” he whispered. Ducking his head, Chris moved stiffly out the door, his broad shoulders slumped in defeat.


Devon fought the urge to follow after him, to follow after her. She needed him now, even if she didn’t know it. She needed him, but she did not want him. He had to accept that, he had to know it. He turned stiffly back to the body, back to Lily. Her face was still uncovered, her lips pale, her skin the color of death. Yet she somehow she still looked refined, elegant.

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