“I know,” I whisper, and he turns to look at me. I clear my throat and make a mumbling sound, trying to make it sound like I was trying to stifle a cough instead of agreeing with him. “So she’s coming home for spring break then?” I ask, hopeful that she’s headed this way sometime soon.

Bill sighs and shrugs his shoulder. “She sent me a text last night saying she’ll let me know. Oh well. At some point I have to let her live her life. Right?”

I give him a tight smile and change over to work talk. It’s the last thing on my mind, but I can’t walk out of his office having only talked about Felicity. I need to stay under the radar with him and hide my feelings for her until I can come up with a way of talking to her.

I go back to my office and kick myself for the workload I have lying before me. I have so much I need to be doing, but all I can think about is making a trip to England. We have consultants there, and I could use it as an excuse to pop in, but would it be obvious to Bill? Maybe I’m being paranoid, but I need to see her. I need to find a way to talk to her.

Just as I’m about to book a flight, I get an email detailing a long list of problems with one of our projects here in New York. It’s the kind of shit I will have to deal with myself and will keep my ass firmly planted in the Big Apple for quite a few weeks.

Handling as much as I can while I’m in the office, I work until the sun is long set and the moon is telling me to get my ass home. It’s dark by the time I walk into my penthouse, and the feeling I’ve been trying to avoid all day creeps in.

Felicity.

I go to my room and strip off my clothes, climbing into the cool sheets. I grab my phone and see what I can find on social media. Anything. A girl her age has to have Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. Right?

Wrong. She’s nowhere to be found. I find an old account, but it only has a single picture on it, and it’s long since been forgotten, without so much as one post.

I decide to dig deeper and look into her college orchestra’s social media. There, I luck out and find a scrap of information. It lists names and dates for some of their social outings, but I don’t see Felicity's name mentioned on them. When I click through some of the classroom pictures, I catch a few glimpses of her in the back. At least knowing where she is eases some of the pain. Knowing that she’s safe is better than not knowing anything.

After my search through her school, I look up one of my contacts who’s done some work for me in the past. I make a quick phone call across the pond to Edward Odom and have him find out all he can on Felicity. I need someone to get eyes on her, and I need it starting yesterday.

Once I finish our quick chat and explain what I need, I lie back in bed and think of her.

It’s all I can seem to do lately, so it’s not difficult. The hard part comes when my cock won’t stop aching for her, no matter how many times I rub one out. I’ve jerked off so many times, my own cock is bored with me. I hadn’t jerked off in years, just choosing to do without. I’m not like most men, with an irresistible need to get off. When I came, I liked there to be someone with me. But the someone I want most isn’t here, and my cock doesn’t seem to understand that.

Reaching down under the sheet, I take myself in my hand and begin to rub. It’s nothing like the feel of her velvety cunt wrapped around it, but I try to pretend. I think about how good it felt to get inside her and how badly I want to do it again.

When I’d woken up the next morning, I was so angry with myself. I’d fallen on top of her so easily, and I was so jealous of every man who had ever done that before me. I’d made myself sick to my stomach thinking of all the men she might have let touch her precious body after I left that day. Thinking about someone else’s hand on her. I didn’t care if she’d slept with ten thousand men before me, I just couldn't stand the thought of someone else getting to do it when I was gone.

I threw hateful things at her that morning, and I needed to make it right. I needed to explain why I was upset. I needed to tell her that all the things I felt that morning hit me hard, things I hadn’t felt in years, things I’d never felt at all. I wasn’t just going to slip from her life and be another man lying at her feet when she was finished. I was going to stand with her forever, and she needed to get used to the idea. Everyone did.

I will make Felicity understand, and I’ll make her father understand, too. I’m not going anywhere, and she can just deal with it.

I fist my cock roughly, punishing myself for letting her go so easily. One she’s in my grasp again, she won’t be able to get away. I’ll make damn sure of that.

Looking over to the chair beside the bed, I see the sheet folded neatly with the small red stain on top. The sight of her virgin blood and knowing I got her cherry first makes me cum all over my hand and stomach. The knowledge that though she may not have been saving it for me, I still got it just the same makes me crazy. Her hymen was mine, and I’ll keep that sheet as a badge of victory.

Maybe I should have taken her more gently since it was her first time. But as I wipe up my cum, I can’t imagine having her any other way. She was so responsive and so needy under me, and remembering the details makes my cock swell again.

* * *

I make it through the next few months, and before I know it, it’s May. Most of the time I feel like a zombie, just walking around like a shell of a man. I get updates from Edward weekly on Felicity, but nothing has changed. She didn't come home for spring break, and I’m starting to get worried. Edward tells me she’s a loner and doesn’t participate in much beyond her music. I take that as a good sign though, because if she’s still playing, then there is still light inside of her.