Laren had deemed it necessary to speak to Karigan of this now. The king’s other advisors were pressuring her to officially name the Riders she’d be sending into Blackveil, and she thought if she put the mission before Karigan privately, and persuaded her that she was the best Rider for the job, Karigan might champion her inclusion herself, perhaps making Zachary less likely to object. But then, love was unpredictable and powerful and he still might overrule everyone and forbid Karigan’s participation.
In the face of her Rider’s quiescence, Laren could only keep talking. “As you’ve likely heard, the Eletians desire to cross over into Blackveil Forest.”
Karigan nodded.
“The king is determined that they not go without being accompanied by Sacoridians. We do not fully trust them, and we have as much interest in seeing what is on the other side of the wall as the Eletians. The king wishes Riders to be among those who go with them. You are one of my most experienced Riders, and you have already been in Blackveil and survived.”
“I was not myself then ...” Karigan passed her hand over her eyes.
It was an understatement, Laren knew. Karigan had been possessed in turn by Mornhavon the Black and the spirit of the First Rider.
Karigan shuddered. “He was ... he knew everything about me.”
Mornhavon, she meant. Laren could not guess what it was like to have someone control your actions while you were a spectator in your own body. How much of Karigan’s mind had he had access to? What an incredible violation it must have been, and it was only then Laren realized what she was asking of Karigan. Yes, Mornhavon might be gone from Blackveil for now, thanks to Karigan’s own intervention, but what if he reappeared while the company of Eletians and Sacoridians were still there?
It did not matter. Karigan was still the best choice, and Laren was her commander. She could not afford to change her mind based on personal considerations. Karigan would go as ordered. It was her duty.
In case there was some hesitation on Karigan’s part, she said, “I know we have asked much of you in the past and you have endured more than any Rider I can think of. If you tell me now not to send you, I will pick someone else. But frankly, I can think of no other Rider who has a better chance of returning alive from Blackveil.” The implication being that any other Rider going in her place would not return, and the onus would be on Karigan.
Karigan looked down at her knees as that implication sank in. “I will go, of course.”
Laren nodded. She found the manipulation distasteful, but she had only spoken the truth. “There may be answers to be found that will help us deal with Blackveil, with Mornhavon. And of course, we need to know why the Eletians are so bent on exploring Blackveil. We think they are drawn more by the desire to see what has become of Argenthyne.”
Karigan continued to remain still, but upon mentioning the ancient, lost land of the Eletians, Laren saw something flicker in her eyes, that fathomless quality she’d seen before. Mysteries, a timelessness. There was a distance to her as though she already walked in that dark country. And then just as quickly it faded.
“Who else?” Karigan asked.
“What?”
“You said Riders, not Rider. Who else are you sending?”
“I’ve not made any final decisions as of yet.” And she hadn’t. It was not easy deciding which of her Riders to commit to such a dangerous mission. “Have you any suggestions?”
Karigan shook her head. “When?”
“You are to be at the wall by the equinox. The Eletians were very clear they wanted the days to be turning longer than the nights when they entered the forest.”
Karigan gazed out the arrow slit. Pale light fell across her face and glinted off her hair. Her silence unsettled Laren. It would be easier if Karigan had argued, shouted, thrown her chair across the room ... anything.
“Do you have any more questions for me?” Laren asked.
Karigan shook her head and the light shimmered down her hair.
Laren’s heart sank at what she believed was resignation on Karigan’s part. “If you think of any questions or you just want to talk about this, do come see me.”
When her ploy to elicit some response from Karigan failed, Laren excused her. After the door closed behind Karigan, Laren stood still for some moments feeling regret. She knew she would feel even more regret when she finally decided which other Riders would accompany Karigan into the forest. She must consider the experience and magical ability of each Rider and decide who would be most useful on the expedition, as well as who would be most likely to survive. She sighed, and rounded her desk to resume work, but found she could not concentrate.
Instead, she decided to seek out Zachary. They needed to talk about Karigan some more now that she had expressed acceptance of the mission. Laren set off from her quarters, thinking she would check with Cummings, Zachary’s secretary, to find out his availability. She was certain this would be another difficult confrontation. Zachary had cooled toward her after their last conversation about Karigan, and she could only guess this would not improve their rapport.
According to Cummings, Zachary’s schedule was clear for the afternoon. That meant he could be almost anywhere doing almost anything. It took Laren a long while to track him down, and when she did find him, it was in a place she hadn’t been since summer. When she passed through the heavy door and stepped out onto the castle rooftop, she squinted in the glare of the sun and shivered. During the summer the roof was pleasant. Now? She did not envy the soldiers who stood watch up here every day throughout the winter. Of course, they were dressed for it and she had only her shortcoat for warmth.