“I’m hoping you have some friends who will be as concerned as you are, Kip.” Jared’s expression is expectant and assured.
“I do, of course,” Kip replies, smiling. “Could the two of you make it up to the house in Santa Barbara next weekend? We’re having a little barbecue, and many of my concerned friends will be there, wallets open.”
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I reply, returning Kip’s warm smile.
“This one’s sharp,” he tells Jared, his eyes resting on my face with what appears to be respect. “Since you’re not smart enough to snap her up, maybe Bent would be.”
“Matchmaking again, Dad?”
The deep voice comes from behind me, but I know it right away, though I haven’t heard it in almost a decade. I look around to find Bent Carter at the entryway to the terrace. He was always the flipside of Jared’s coin. Lighthearted while Jared was intense. Dark where Jared was fair. Entitled when Jared was ambitious. But that awful night, I saw no difference between the two of them. They were the same as Prescott and his pride of hyenas laughing at all my chubby, naked, and exposed flesh. Fresh humiliation chokes me with the visual reminder of Bent standing there, an all-too-familiar smile on his face. The smile dies when his eyes meet mine.
“Banner.” He sobers, his surprise fading. “Mom said Jared had a woman with him, and I just had to see for myself.”
“You make it sound like I don’t like girls,” Jared says easily, dividing a careful glance between his friend and me. “Not the case since apparently I have a type.”
His words draw my attention and irritation, as he knew they would. If he’s trying to distract me from the memory of what he and those assholes did—Bent included—it won’t work. I endure Bent’s presence while he greets his father and then mother when she returns to the terrace. My body is stiff as if tensed for a blow the whole time. My teeth grind together. It’s bad enough Jared is still friends with this cretin, and only convinces me further that he lied when he said he didn’t join The Pride after all. My nerves are drawn tight like the strings of a violin, but there is no music. Just the sound of their laughter from that night. The sound of my tears. The sound of Jared’s lies.
“I’m so sorry, but I really do need to get back,” I interrupt as soon as there’s a natural opening. I turn a genuinely grateful smile on Karen. I can’t blame her for her son’s despicable behavior. “It was so nice meeting you, and thank you for lunch.”
I stand and toss the linen napkin from my lap over the remnants of my salad.
“Please come again soon, Banner.” Karen loops her elbow through mine.
“I’d like that very much.”
Jared studies us over his shoulder from up ahead before returning to the conversation with Kip and Bent. Karen kisses both my cheeks with promises of more time together at the barbecue next weekend. Quick, long strides take Jared across the vast yard to the waiting helicopter. I’m close behind when a gentle tug stops me halfway there. I look up from the long fingers gripping my elbow to Bent’s handsome face. He bends to speak in my ear over the noise of the helicopter.
“There wasn’t time before,” he says loudly. “But I wanted to apologize for . . .”
He stares at the well-manicured grass under our feet for a few seconds before speaking again.
“For what happened senior year, Banner.” He runs an impatient hand through the dark waves all the girls gushed over at Kerrington. “I’m ashamed for going along with it.”
“It was years ago,” I say, tugging on my elbow, but he doesn’t let go.
“It was years ago, which makes it even worse that I’m only now apologizing,” he says. “I gave in to the pressure because I wanted to get in. I needed to. I’m a legacy.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I steal a look at the helicopter. Jared wears a heavy frown and stands at the door, hands jammed into his pockets. “I should go.”
“He had nothing to do with it.” Bent dips his head to capture and hold my gaze. “He was furious that night when Prescott told him to—”
“Fuck the fat girl,” I finish for him, my words stiff.
“Yeah,” Bent admits with a heavy sigh.
“And yet he still reaped the benefits,” I say scornfully.
“What benefits?” Bent asks, a frown gathered over the confusion in his eyes.
“Of The Pride. I’ve seen him with you and your friends at events and vacations and . . . I’m not stupid. Obviously he’s in.”
“You see him with me and my friends and family because we are friends. My parents see Jared like a second son. It took two years for him to speak to me again, and only then because my mother begged him to.”
I take in the new information but can’t make sense of everything.
“So he’s really not in The Pride?” I ask, searching the rugged lines of his face for deceit.
“Look, I can’t talk about this with you,” Bent says. “It’s a secret society, which means secret. Even what I’ve told you could get me tossed out, and unlike Jared, I need the connections. I will tell you that not only is he not a member, but he’s banned for life.”
“For life? Why?”
Humor twitches the corners of Bent’s mouth.
“For assaulting a legacy,” Bent says with a chuckle. “He came back that night and knocked two of Prescott’s teeth out.”
A startled laugh pops from my mouth.
“Why would he do that?”
The humor drains from Bent’s face, and he takes my hands between his, squeezing.
“He was crazy about you, Banner.”
Shock and disbelief wrestle inside me. My heart beats louder in my ears than the propellers of the waiting helicopter chopping through the air.
“No, he—”
“Yes,” Bent cuts in, his stare unwavering. “He was. I promise you.”
I brave a glance at Jared, still waiting, hair blown into an unruly mess by the propellers. He slides a questioning look from me to Bent and then cocks his head toward the helicopter, indicating we need to go.
“Um, thanks for telling me, Bent,” I say, turning to go. He catches my elbow again.
“Apology accepted?” he asks with a half-smile.
“Of course.” I manage a smile back, but I’m still stunned by his revelation. Could it have been true? Real? Could that night have been real to Jared? It’s dangerous to think so.
I jog the rest of the way to the helicopter, and Jared helps me up the two steps and inside. I’ve barely settled in and buckled my seat belt when Jared hands me a headset.
“Put it on,” he says. I can barely hear him, but can read his lips and slip the headset on. “What did Bent say to you?”
“It was a private conversation,” I say, stalling. I turn to the window, not even seeing the jewel-toned waters or the majestic cliffs.
“I’ll just ask him,” he says over the headset.
No response from me.
“He’ll tell me,” Jared continues. He reaches around to grasp my chin gently and turns my face to his. “But I’d rather hear it from you.”
His thumb is rough against my face, but the caress, his touch, brushing back and forth over my skin, is soft.
“He said you weren’t in on what happened that night,” I say haltingly, tugging my chin free. “He said you weren’t a member of The Pride.”
“I told you that.”
“I didn’t believe you.”
His grin leans right. “I can’t blame you for that.”
“Right.”
“But you believe me now? You believe Bent?”
“He says you aren’t in The Pride,” I say without answering definitively. “That you never were.”
“I never was,” he confirms, not looking away. Not allowing me to. “I withdrew as soon as Prescott told me what he wanted me to do.”
I nod jerkily, twisting my fingers in my lap.
“That’s what he said.” I look up, pressing my lips against an irrepressible smile. “He said you’re banned for life because you knocked out two of Prescott’s teeth.”
His husky laugh rumbles in my ears through the headset. “He could afford the dental work.”
I allow myself a grin but look down at my hands.
“Is that all he said?” Jared asks, humor and curiosity still apparent in his expression.
He was crazy about you, Banner.
I can’t consider the possibility that Jared actually felt even a fraction of what I felt for him back then. Can’t allow myself to think about the what ifs and what could have beens. Even speculating about those could jeopardize all I have now with Zo.
“Yeah.” I turn back to the gorgeous view, not really seeing it. “That was all he said.”
15
Jared
I park at the curb in front of Banner’s house and walk up the cobblestone path to the door. I hesitate and don’t ring the doorbell right away. She knows I’m coming. We agreed on the time I’d pick her up for Kip’s party, but I assume Zo is here since he’s living with Banner for the summer. Not a pleasant thought. I only know him by reputation. He’s beloved in the league and beyond. He’s also sharp. I’d know immediately if someone wanted my girl, and I could be wrong, but I think Zo is sharp enough to at least suspect I want his. Only I don’t think of Banner as his. Banner was taken from me. If not for Prescott’s stupid stunt, who knows what would have happened for us. I always wondered.
Soon I’ll know.
She’s been avoiding me all week. Ever since the helicopter ride and her conversation with Bent, she’s made sure to be busy every time I called. Admittedly, I did use trumped up excuses to call, but I wanted to build on the ground I gained. Instead, the last few days have given Banner time to retreat and regroup. She hasn’t had to deal with me and the connection I know she feels. She’s been able to focus on Zo, who’s living with her.