She walks out, only to pop her head back in a few seconds later.
“Oh, and Cal’s in the building.” With a glance, she commiserates with me. “Don’t shoot the messenger.”
“You’re safe,” I say with half a smile before returning my attention to the email. “Thanks for the heads-up.”
Through the years, Cal and I have brokered an understanding. He stays out of my way and doesn’t expect me to behave like the rest of the assholes who work for him, and I bring him clients. Lots of clients. Lots of business. Lots of money. He gave me the LA office to manage because he’s afraid I’ll branch off and start my own agency. One day I will, but that is a massive undertaking I don’t want right now. I’m settling into a new city. I have more clients than any other agent at Bagley, and they’re as loyal to me as I am to them. When I do leave, I know they’ll follow me out the door. Cal knows that, too, and usually bends over backward to keep me happy, but still feels the need to reassert himself as my “boss” every once in a while, remind me whose name is on the letterhead. He’s been in LA for a week making sure things are going well with the new branch, which they are. If he’s in the building that means at some point, he’ll be in my office.
I’m making progress on a marketing plan for Lamont Christopher, the rookie I “blocked” with Jared when my cell rings. I’m so tempted not to answer, but a glance at the screen shows me it’s Zo. He’s in another time zone, and with our busy schedules, it’s been hard to really connect. Guilt knots my stomach and my palms actually start sweating. When he comes back, I have to tell him about what has happened with Jared. We haven’t had sex, but what we have done is unacceptable. I pray he forgives me, but I’m still not sure we need to continue forward as we have been, irrespective of Jared.
“Hola,” I answer, forcing a smile into my voice.
“Hola, Bannini,” he says, using the name reserved for family. “Te echo de menos.”
“I miss you, too,” I reply in Spanish, as we conduct most of our private conversations. “How are things at the orphanage?”
He recounts all the amazing things that have been done since I visited the orphanage in San Nicolas with him last summer. Zo does more than simply write checks. He’s hands-on as much as he can be, especially during the summer and in his home country.
“You sound tired,” I say, scribbling on an old draft of a shoe contract.
“I am.” His weary sigh makes me frown. He’s legendary for his boundless energy and rarely admits to fatigue.
“Come home,” I urge him, tossing the pen on my desk and leaning back in my seat. “Rest.”
“Tomorrow.” I know him so well I can envision how the smile in his voice looks on his face.
My heart thuds heavily. I want him to come home and rest, but that means I have to deal with the situation . . . that he doesn’t even realize is a situation yet.
“Tomorrow?” I ask weakly.
“Yes. A quick trip. Only a day in LA and then I fly to Vancouver for some standard team stuff,” he replies. “But I miss you too much. I have to see you, even if it’s only for a day.”
“Oh.” I smile and inject enthusiasm into my voice. I do want to see him. I’ve missed him, too, but the conversation I didn’t want to have will happen sooner than I thought. “Can’t wait.”
“You have no idea, baby.” His voice is husky, eager. “Be naked when I get there.”
It hurts to swallow. It’s hard to breathe. It feels wrong to even converse intimately with him when I’ve come on Jared’s fingers. When last night I dreamed about Jared making love to me with the lights on. We haven’t spoken since yesterday morning, when he carted a chagrined and hungover Hakeem to his hotel. With Hakeem watching, we kept things professional, but the look Jared gave me on his way out burned through my clothes.
“It’ll be good to have you home, if only for a day,” I deflect, making no promises of nudity, and hope Zo doesn’t notice.
No such luck. The silence on the other end swells for a few seconds.
“You’re okay?” I hate the uncertainty in his voice. “You sound . . . I don’t know. Off somehow.”
The trouble with dating your best friend . . .
“No, just a lot of work,” I lie. Only I can’t lie to Zo, thus the conversation we need to have tomorrow. “That’s not entirely, true. We need to talk when you get home.”
“You can tell me anything, Bannini. You know this, yes?”
Tears burn my eyes and my chest aches with the pain I’m going to cause him, with the knowledge that things won’t be the same between us after we talk. I don’t know exactly what that means or how we’ll look, but it will be different. And the “same,” the constancy, is what we’ve always needed and gotten from each other. But maybe that’s the problem. Too much of the same.
“Banner?” Zo asks when I don’t answer. “I said you know this, right?”
“Yeah.” I clear my throat. “Yeah, I know. There’s so much going on with free agency and work and . . . we just need to talk.”
There’s a small break, a silence in which the man who knows me so well tries to figure out what the hell is going on.
“Whatever this is,” he says. “I love you.”
A runaway tear skates over my cheek, and I swipe at it impatiently. No time for tears or weakness.
“I know, Zo. I—”
Movement at my office door momentarily distracts me. I press my lips into a stiff smile of welcome to Cal Bagley.
“Zo, Cal’s here,” I say in English for my boss’ sake. “I need to go.”
“Of course. We’ll talk tomorrow when I get home.”
I place my phone on the desk and gesture for Cal to take the seat across from me. My spine stiffens at the calculating gleam in his eye and the plastic smile on his face.
“Good old Zo,” Cal says to start the conversation.
“Not that old,” I return with a small smile.
“Do the Titans agree? Lowell says there’s still no deal.”
I lean back so my ergonomic chair tilts.
“Checking up on me, Cal?” I ask casually. Too casually. He knows I’m the last shoulder he needs to look over.
“No, I happened to run into Lowell.” Cal crosses one ankle over his knee. “But I have heard some things that I wanted to address before we have any . . .”
He squints and waves his hand in the air.
“Any issues,” he finishes.
“Issues?” I cross my legs, too. “Uh huh. Go on.”
“I know you and Jared Foster are working on a project together.”
“Yes, Kenan and August, one of Jared’s clients obviously, are doing a fundraiser together.”
“The golf tournament, yes.”
That gives me pause. He and I haven’t spoken about the specifics of the project. Why would we? He hasn’t interfered in my business for years. If he and I haven’t spoken about the project, he’s obviously spoken to someone about it. And I have to wonder why.
“What’s going on, Cal?” I lean forward and set my elbows on the desk and rest my chin on folded hands.
“Now, you know I trust you, Banner.”
“I thought I knew,” I reply, deliberately keeping my voice light.
“I do trust you,” Cal assures hastily. “It’s that damn Foster I don’t trust.”
“Jared?” My heartbeat stills and starts again. “Why? I mean I know he’s at another firm, but we’re coordinating sponsors for our clients’ fundraiser, not swapping company secrets.”
“Nothing like that. I think he means to lure you over to Elevation.”
I laugh because it’s ridiculous.
“You’re mistaken.” I shake my head, relieved that this is all. “He doesn’t.”
“He definitely has an interest in you.”
I won’t stop until you’re completely mine.
An interest. That’s one way to put it. I bite into an involuntary smile and suppress a shiver. As complicated as Jared has made things with Zo, I haven’t felt so alive in ages. Anticipating the next time I’ll see him. The intimacy of his kisses, the fire in his touch, how he stimulates my body and my mind. I shift in my seat and uncross my legs.
“Don’t worry, Cal,” I tell him with a wry smile. “Jared’s no threat.”
“Really?” Cal looks anything but sure. “He told me himself that my prize mare, as he put it, was safe, but that he could take better care of you at Elevation.”
All the gooey residual feelings congeal and thicken, settling like a lump at the bottom of my belly.
“Prize mare?” I ask numbly. “He said that?”
“Word for word,” Cal says, watching my face closely. “He all but warned me. You’d tell me if he made any offers, right? At least give me a chance to match whatever he presents, Banner.”
“Uh . . . he hasn’t made any offers,” I say absently.
Of the professional variety anyway, but maybe that was his end game. Even though Bent told me Jared wasn’t in on Prescott’s cruel joke, doubt floods me again. It’s like a habit, doubting myself. From the outside, no one would suspect, but there’s a crack in every wall. I’m no exception. I’ve lost a lot of weight. I’m in the best shape of my life, but I’m not, nor will I ever be a Quinn. A Tanya. A Cindy.
I’m a Banner, and Jared made me believe—again—that’s what he wanted. Legitimately, desperately wanted that from the way he looks at me, the things he’s said. Did I misjudge the situation?
You’ve always been beautiful to me. I hope you know that.
Jared is a master strategist. He’ll do anything to get what he wants, but I thought he wanted me. The me I thought he had seen. Really seen. Not the agent who could bring in hefty commissions.