“Why won’t she leave it the hell alone?” I stepped onto the sidewalk, tugging my vest into place and wishing I could straighten my thoughts as easily. “She can’t change the past.”
“It’s not the past she’s thinking of.” He set his hand briefly on my shoulder. “It’s the future.”
—
I found Eva pacing in Dr. Petersen’s office, her hands waving as she spoke. The good doctor sat in his customary chair, his attention on his tablet as he took notes.
“The whole situation makes me so mad,” she seethed. Then she caught sight of me standing in the doorway and paused midstride.
“Gideon.” A brilliant smile lit up her beautiful face.
There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do to put that happy look on her. The fact that she smiled like that just because she saw me . . .
“Eva. Doctor.” I took a seat on the sofa. How much had she told him?
Dr. Petersen followed me with his gaze. “Hello, Gideon. I’m glad you could join us after all.”
I patted the cushion next to me and waited for Eva to sit.
“We’re making plans to move back into the penthouse on Fifth with Cary,” I said smoothly once she’d settled beside me, deflecting the conversation into territory I was more comfortable addressing. “I expect it will be a rocky transition for all of us.”
Eva gaped.
Dr. Petersen set his stylus down. “Eva was just telling me about a visit with your stepfather. I would like to hear more about that before we move on.”
I linked my fingers with Eva’s. “It’s not open for discussion.”
She stared at me. I turned my head to meet her gaze and my breath left me in a pained rush.
The new look on her face made me ache for a different reason altogether.
The session had barely started and already it couldn’t end soon enough for me.
—
I told Angus to take us home—to the penthouse.
It was obvious Eva was lost in her own thoughts by the surprise she displayed when the valet opened the door for her. We were in the subterranean garage beneath the building.
She glanced at me.
“I’ll explain,” I told her, as I took her elbow and led her to the elevator.
We rode up in silence. When the car doors opened into our private foyer, I felt her tense beneath my hand. We hadn’t been to the penthouse together in nearly a month. The last time we’d been in the foyer had been the night she confronted me about Nathan’s death.
I’d been afraid then, too. Terrified I had done something she couldn’t forgive me for.
We’d had many explosive moments here. The penthouse hadn’t seen as much joy and love between us as the secret apartment on the Upper West Side. But we would change that. One day, we would look back and this place would remind us of all the steps in our journey together, good and bad. I refused to envision anything else.
I opened the door, gesturing her in before me. She dropped her purse into an armchair and kicked off her shoes. I shrugged out of my jacket, hung it on the back of one of the bar stools in the kitchen, and then pulled a shiraz off the wine rack.
“You’re disappointed in me,” I called out, uncorking the wine.
Eva padded to the open archway and leaned against the tumbled stone. “No, not in you.”
Retrieving a decanter and two glasses, I considered my reply. It was difficult bargaining with my wife. In every other deal, I went in with the knowledge that I could take it or leave it. There was no agreement anywhere I couldn’t walk away from.
Except those that endangered my hold on Eva.
As I poured the wine from its bottle into the decanter, she joined me at the island.
Her hand came to rest on my shoulder. “We haven’t been together long, Gideon, and you’ve come so far already. I’m not going to push you to go farther so soon. These things take time.”
I let the decanted wine sit and turned to face her, pulling her close. She’d felt so far away the last hour or so and the distance had been killing me.
“Kiss me,” I murmured.
Tilting her head back, Eva lifted her mouth to me. I pressed my lips to hers but otherwise did nothing else, wanting her to be the one to reach out. Needing her to be.
The stroke of her tongue over the seam of my lips made me groan. The feel of her fingers sliding into the hair at my nape soothed me. There was an apology in the softness of her lips gliding across mine and love in her quiet moan of surrender.
I caught her up, lifting her feet from the floor, so relieved she still wanted me that I felt dizzy with it. “Eva . . . I’m sorry.”
“Shh, baby, it’s okay.” She pulled back and touched my face, cupping it in both hands. “You don’t have to apologize to me.”
The back of my throat burned. I lifted her onto the counter, stepping between her spread legs. Her skirt rose up, baring the ends of her garters. I wanted her. In every way.
My forehead touched hers. “You’re upset that I didn’t want to talk about Chris.”
“I wasn’t expecting you to avoid it so completely, that’s all.” She kissed my brow, her fingers brushing the hair from my face. “I should’ve considered the possibility, considering how angry you were when we left the Crossfire.”
“Not with you.”
“At Chris?”
“At the situation.” I exhaled roughly. “You’re expecting people to change and that doesn’t happen. In the meantime, you’re stirring up trouble at a time when we’ve got enough on our plates. I just want to have some peace with you, Eva. Days when we’re alone and happy and free of any bullshit.”