"It's so much easier…" I started. "Shit." I wiped my face with my clammy hands. I wasn't feeling it. When had I ever been so obsessed over someone that my sole purpose in life was to bring them down with me? Bring them to my level just so I could have a taste?
Dani.
Her name flashed like a neon sign in my stupid-ass brain. Flash, flash, flash. With a groan, I licked my lips and envisioned her standing in front of me. The forbidden fruit, someone who intrigued me, piqued my curiosity, a girl who made me want.
"It's so much easier…" My gut clenched as I reached for her hand, my fingertips tingling with anticipation of caressing her skin. "… fighting for the bad." I envisioned myself take a step forward as my fingertips grazed her wrist, the erratic pulse giving way to her feelings, though she remained still, indifferent. "Giving into temptation…" I lifted her wrist to my lips and whispered hoarsely against her skin. "Don't you think?"
The sound of clapping jolted me out of my vision, causing a near heart attack to take my short life.
"Shit!" I jumped to my feet and turned around.
Dani's face was flushed as she held out my coffee and a bag of Skittles.
"That was, um…" I scratched my neck in anxiousness. "… practice. Because actors, they do that."
Hell, someone drown me in the ocean outside.
She nodded once, a smile tickling the corners of her mouth.
"Thanks." Voice hoarse, like that of an eighty-year-old smoker, I cleared my throat — loudly — and opened the bag of Skittles, avoiding her gaze. "It's tradition. I only eat the red ones."
My phone buzzed; I picked it up.
Dani: Red is the best flavor.
"Thank God you agree. Wouldn't want to fire you on the first day." Again. Shit.
She rolled her eyes and glanced around the living room, her face impatient, making me feel like a diva.
"Alright." I popped a few red Skittles in my mouth and chewed. The sugary tartness reminded me, yet again, what day it was. D-day. The first day of shooting.
I had to be better than awesome.
"Let's do this." I faked the bravado in my voice, straightened my shoulders, and threw on my Ray Bans like I'd done a million times on the first day on set. Nerves would always be a part of my job. The minute I was no longer nervous would be the minute I needed to get out of the business.
I started the truck and tossed my bag of Skittles in the cup holder while Dani buckled her seatbelt.
Hands shaking, I gripped the steering wheel, hoping it would somehow center me. I was still reeling from the scene I'd played out in my head.
Of her skin.
Of her freaking response.
My phone went off.
I swiped it from my front pocket.
Dani: Break a leg.
"Let's hope not." I winked then tossed the phone in with the Skittles. "But thanks, Dani. I appreciate it."
My phone went off again, but I knew Dani would throw a tantrum if I checked it while driving, so I waited an agonizing eight minutes while we drove to the secluded beach just outside town.
A few semi-trailers were parked in the normally deserted parking lot. Security was everywhere — walking around, talking in their radios. Jaymeson was standing in the middle of the beach speaking into his headset.
I swallowed the nerves and glanced down at my phone.
Dani: My dad always said nerves mean you're alive. So… today, prove why you're living. Don't think of anything else other than getting that across. Movies should be reflections of real feelings, real life. Show life.
"When did you get so smart?"
Dani shrugged and pulled the Skittles out of the cup holder then handed me another three red ones.
"Thanks." I popped them in my mouth, swirling them around with my tongue until they were tiny, chewable pieces of sugar. "Alright. I'm ready."
THE FIRST DAY ALWAYS consisted of a lot of waiting. It never helped the nerves because it gave me time to over-think and over-analyze everything. Granted, I'd already done a ton of table reads with the rest of the cast. But being in costume on set brought it up to a whole different level.
Jaymeson was the good guy.
I was the bad guy.
According to Jaymeson, we were basically retelling Nat's love story and how she fell in love with AD2. Shortly after she married Alec, she had decided to pen their story, and, because of her celebrity status, it was quickly picked up by a production company. By then, Jaymeson had already staked his claim, saying he'd always wanted to play a self-absorbed jackass — I'd thought he meant Alec. And well, that had left me to play Demetri.
Which seemed semi-weird, since he and Dani were close.
Which meant in a way I was just as close? Right?
Ha. Yeah, not even one day in, and already I was losing my mind.
I was supposed to be in love with Pris, who was playing Nat, but I seriously had a rough time feeling it — or knowing that I had to kiss Dani's sister.
I'd done it a million times before, but it just felt…. weird
Add the fact that we were filming one of our makeout scenes, on the beach, on our first day, and I was already dreaming of the word cut or the sentence take five.
"You kiss my wife and enjoy it, I remove your balls in your sleep." Jaymeson said in a chipper voice as he slapped me on the back.
"Always great working with a real professional, Jaymeson, always great," I muttered.
"Here's a tip," Jaymeson whispered in a low voice so Pris couldn't hear us. "Get it done on the first take so I don't have to cause an on-set accident where I set your trailer on fire and blame it on God smiting you for being a Hollywood heathen."