I didn’t sleep that night. I doubted anyone in my family did, though aside from Zadie’s whimpers, it was quiet. I held her hand through the long hours, telling her it would all be fine, that she and Sami would marry and bear lots of beautiful babies, though I don’t know if she believed me.

While my mouth spoke of Zadie and her life here in Varenia, my mind was far away. I remembered my prayer to Thalos the night of the dinner at Governor Kristos’s house, after I’d met Talin. I had asked him to send me in Zadie’s place, to save her from the fate she didn’t want.

But though I had made the prayer on Zadie’s behalf, I couldn’t deny that there had been a selfish undercurrent to my words. I didn’t want to stay in Varenia and marry Sami any more than Zadie wanted to leave. I couldn’t spend my life wondering if my husband was thinking of someone else every time he looked at me. I didn’t want to stare at the same horizon, eat the same food, or see the same people for the next hundred years.

Had I caused this somehow? Was Thalos punishing me for being so wicked? Yes, I wanted to leave Varenia, but if I had known this would be the cost, I never would have asked for it.

I rose from our bed when I could see the blue of the water through the cracks in our floorboards. Today was my last full day in Varenia. Tomorrow morning Governor Kristos and Sami would row me to shore, where the captain of the king’s guard would wade out to meet me himself.

Father was responsible for explaining all of this, as Mother still would not speak to me. “If the captain does not believe you are Zadie, I don’t know what will become of you,” he said.

A chill ran over my scalp, but I nodded. “I understand.”

“You should go, enjoy your last day here.”

“I don’t think I can enjoy anything with Zadie so sick and Mother so angry,” I said.

He let me lean against his chest. “Your sister will heal. Your mother will forgive you.”

“Not before tomorrow.”

“No, I suppose not. But all will be well again one day.”

I would never see that day. I would never see any of them again.

“Go and find Sami,” Father said. “See if he has convinced Kristos to let him marry Zadie. My friend is a good man, and I believe he will make the right decision.”

I wiped the corners of my eyes with my tunic. “Yes, Father.”

I checked on Zadie again before I left and found her being tended by Mother. Satisfied that she would be well looked after, I jumped off our balcony into the water. I could have taken the boat, but I preferred to swim today. It wasn’t far to Sami’s house, and who knew how long it would be until I saw the ocean again. Perhaps forever.

Sami was sitting on the dock outside his house when I arrived.

“Any word?” I called up to him.

A family rowed past in their boat, the mother glaring at me, no doubt cursing me for what everyone thought I’d done to Zadie. I lifted my chin and met her stare.

Sami splashed down into the water next to me, and the woman finally looked away. “Not yet,” he said. “Are you all right? My parents told me what the elders decided.”

I swallowed down my fear. “I’ll be fine.”

He looked older, as if the last of his boyhood had been drained by the events of the last two days. “Did your father send you here?”

“Yes. He thinks your father will allow the marriage. What do you think?”

Sami swam into the shadows under his house and motioned for me to follow him. “I don’t know. My mother is adamant I not marry Zadie.”

“Why?”

“Because she thinks Thalos is punishing your family.”

I flinched at the words. “For what?”

He lowered his gaze. “Your mother’s pride.”

“This has nothing to do with Thalos,” I said, though I wasn’t as sure as I pretended to be. “I can’t deny my mother’s pride, however.”

Sami grabbed onto a pillar with one hand and pulled me to him with the other. His touch was rough, in a way I’d never felt before.

“You’re hurting me,” I said, ripping his hand away.

His voice was harsh as he asked, “She did this to herself, didn’t she?”

I treaded water for a moment, my arm still sore from where he’d grabbed me. Zadie wouldn’t want Sami to know the truth, but didn’t he have a right to know? They couldn’t build a life together with such a terrible secret between them.

“Yes,” I said finally.

“Did you help her?”

I wanted to scream no. I hadn’t wanted anything to do with it. I remembered the things Zadie had said to me, that I didn’t love her if I didn’t help her. That she would do it alone if I didn’t stay.

I couldn’t keep this secret for the rest of my life. I had to tell someone. “Yes.”

Sami slapped the water with both hands, splashing us. “Thalos, Nor! Why?”

“I had no other choice!” I cried. “She got the jellyfish on her own and had it tied to the boat. I tried to leave, but she said she would do it without me if I left. I was afraid she’d kill herself. When the time came, I couldn’t go through with it, but she forced my hand.” I swiped away my tears. “I didn’t do it, but I was there.”

“Couldn’t you have talked her out of it?” Sami asked, his own eyes damp with tears.

“Don’t you think I tried?” I took a shaky breath and sent him a pleading glance. “She’s my sister, Sami, and she begged me. She couldn’t leave you. Don’t you understand that? She would rather die than leave you.”

Not me, I thought with no small amount of resentment. Just you.

“And what am I going to do if my father says I can’t marry her? What then?”

I swallowed my tears. “You’re just going to have to find a way.”

“I’m the governor’s son, Nor. I have responsibilities.”

This time I grabbed his arm. I dug my nails into the familiar flesh until he winced. “And I have just agreed to pretend to be someone else for the rest of my life! You will not abandon my sister, do you understand?”

His jaw clenched. “I won’t abandon her.”

“Promise me.”

He pulled my hand away gently and looked me square in the eyes. “I promise.”

“Good.” I believed Sami. I didn’t know how he would fix all this, but I knew he would find a way. “There’s something else we need to discuss.”

“What?”

“You’re always saying that when you’re governor, you will improve our way of life. That you will stand up to Ilara.”

“And I will,” he said. For some reason, I believed him more now than I ever had before.

“What if there was a way for you to start now, before you become governor?” I asked him.

“What are you talking about?”

I pointed to his family’s smaller boat. “Come with me.”

      9

“Where are we going?” Sami asked as I handed him the oars.

I gave him a wry smile. “The market. You’re buying my family’s grain and water this week.” Mother hadn’t asked me to buy anything, but she’d been too distracted by Zadie’s injuries and her hatred of me to notice that we were low on nearly everything.

Sami’s mouth dropped open for a moment, but he knew better than to argue with me. He shook his head. “I swear, you’re as stubborn as a barnacle and as bossy as—”

I cut him off with a stern glare, and we both laughed. “We never would have made it as a married couple,” I said. “You know that, right?”

“Oh, I don’t know about that. We would have managed.”

I covered my legs with my skirts, suddenly self-conscious, though Sami had seen far more of me. “I met with Elder Nemea last night. She made a stain for my scar, but I’m afraid of what will happen if the king discovers our deception. Father said the last time the elders tried to send a second-rate girl, Ilara cut off our water supply. Dozens of children died.”

He gripped the oars so hard I was afraid they’d splinter in his hands. “And no one did anything about it?”

I shook my head. “She also said Varenia will run out of food within five years if something doesn’t change. We’ve overfished these waters, and without pearls, what will we trade?”

“Coral and sponges?” he said doubtfully.

“Anyone can find those a lot closer to shore. And the traders have giant ships that allow them to hunt whales and gather large quantities of fish at once. Varenian pearls are the only thing we have to offer.”

Sami sighed. “I don’t know what can be done, Nor. I’ve tried talking to my father, but he won’t do anything. No one will.”

He rowed in silence for a while, until finally the floating market appeared over the crest of the next wave. It was a string of covered boats selling essential goods along with the occasional pet no one could afford to feed. When we were girls, we’d begged Sami to buy us a pet monkey, and Zadie had cried when he told us no. He’d been right to refuse us, but I don’t think he ever said no to her again after that.