“Milady,” a young woman said, stepping out of the carriage and dropping into a curtsy. For a moment, I forgot myself and stared. Her white-blond hair was pulled back in two long fishtail braids that framed a sallow face as pale as a sun-bleached sand dollar. When her sky blue eyes flicked up to mine, I noticed purplish smudges below them, giving her a tired and almost sickly appearance.
Her dress was made of a heavy, dark gray fabric, pulled tight across her torso to accentuate a flat chest and the tiniest waist I’d ever seen. I glanced down at my own sodden tunic and skirts, feeling like the drowned rat that had once come in on a sack of grain from the floating market and sent Zadie and me screaming out of the house. I could imagine what this woman was thinking: this is what the most beautiful girl in Varenia looks like?
“Good evening,” I said, nodding in what I hoped was the appropriate manner.
She smiled. “I’m Ebb. I’ll be your lady’s maid in Ilara. And on the journey, of course. You must be... Well, I can’t even imagine what you must be feeling right now. But getting you out of those wet clothes is the least we can do.”
“We should depart within the hour, Ebb,” Captain Osius said as he handed me into the carriage. “Be sure she gets some hot tea into her before we go.”
The interior was more spacious than it seemed from the outside. There was a bench on either end covered in deep crimson velvet. White cloth was hung over the windows, and heavier red drapes were pulled to either side. Ebb closed them now.
“For privacy,” she explained. “It’s a bit dark, but we’ll do our best.”
There was a lantern in here, but only one candle, and I was grateful for the dim lighting. I was crouched over, unable to stand up straight in the carriage, and a puddle was starting to form around me on the floor. My feet squelched on the damp fabric. Was nothing left bare in Ilara?
I flinched when I felt Ebb’s hand on my back.
“It’s all right, milady. I’ll just help you out of these wet clothes and get you dried off a bit.”
The next several minutes passed in awkward silence. No one had ever seen me without clothes on, outside of my family. It was summer, but tiny bumps sprang up on my bare skin, and I couldn’t keep myself from shivering. Ebb threw a thick blanket over me and urged me to rub myself dry. I watched in horror as she cracked open the carriage door and kicked my sodden clothing out into the dirt.
“Why would you do such a thing?” I blurted. “Those are perfectly good clothes.”
When she smiled, I could see the bones of her face shift. “Don’t worry, milady. There are dozens of gowns waiting for you in the castle. Here.” She lifted up one of the seat cushions and brought out a gown made of the same stiff, heavy fabric as hers, in an even darker shade of gray. “This is just a traveling gown, mind you,” she added when she saw my face fall, but it wasn’t the quality that troubled me. We never wore such somber colors in Varenia.
“Do you wear more colorful clothing in Ilara?” I asked hopefully.
“Not at court. We wear mourning colors, for the lost princess,” she said, but there was no emotion in her voice, as if this were as obvious as the fact that the sun rose in the morning and set at night. “We just need to get you into your undergarments first.”
I cocked my head, and she laughed a little, covering her mouth with her fingertips. She had a kind laugh, and I realized that even though I probably seemed childlike to her and Captain Osius, they weren’t making fun of me. They just didn’t know what to do with me.
“I’ll help you,” she said. She produced a short-sleeved shift and slipped it over my head. The white fabric was so thin it was nearly transparent, far finer than anything I’d ever owned, and fell just below my knees. Afterward, she helped me into a pair of long silk stockings, followed by a pleated petticoat, and finally the dress, which fastened up the back with tiny hooks that Ebb clasped with remarkable speed. The neckline was square and severe, and the bodice was so tight that I found myself taking short, rapid breaths as my rib cage was prevented from expanding fully by the fabric. The entire process seemed to take ages, and we were both sweating by the time she was finished. I sat back on the bench, hardly able to believe I would have to go through this process every day.
“That will do for now,” she breathed. “It’s stuffy in this carriage.”
“For now?”
She smiled again. “Try not to worry. You’ll get used to all of it in time.”
I wasn’t convinced, but I nodded weakly. “Can I please get some air?”
“You’re not allowed to leave the carriage, but we can open the windows.”
I pushed past Ebb as she parted the curtains and opened the windows, desperate for fresh air. The cool breeze that hit me was welcome now. I couldn’t imagine I’d ever be cold again in all this clothing. I was still sucking in breath when Captain Osius appeared from the front of the carriage.
“Milady,” he said, bowing. “The gown suits you. Are you ready to leave?”
I glanced down at the gown, which suited me about as well as a lobster shell fit a crab, then back at Ebb. “I—I believe so.”
“Very good.” He nodded and disappeared again.
“Best sit down, milady. The ride can be a bit bumpy at times.”
Before I could take a seat, the driver yelled something to the horses, and the carriage lurched forward, sending me sprawling against the velvet cushions. I looked up at Ebb, who gave another of her kind laughs and helped me sit up. “You’ll get used to it, milady. I promise.”
A few minutes later, my senses bombarded by too many sights, sounds, and smells at once, I ran to the window, threw back the curtains, and emptied the contents of my stomach all over the carriage door.
* * *
Just as Elder Nemea had predicted, the rest of the journey was long and painful, as I suffered through what Captain Osius called “land sickness.” And sick I was, even worse than the time Zadie and I had inadvertently purchased bad meat from a trader. Ebb cared for me like a child, helping me to change in and out of my dresses, bringing me cups of a tea made from ginger, valerian root, and bugbane to help with my sickness. The ingredients were as foreign as everything else, but they did settle my stomach enough that I was able to eat a bit on the third day.
I didn’t see anyone except for Ebb, with the occasional glimpse of Grig or the captain outside the window of the carriage. Ebb and I slept inside, and at night, the deep laughter of the men around the fire, coupled with the thick tang of wood smoke, made me ache for home. The carriage began to feel like a net around me, and I fought against a sensation I’d never experienced, like something inside of me was clawing to be free. When I wasn’t sick, I napped, but try as I might to pretend the carriage was a boat and the rough road beneath us a choppy sea, my mind and body would not be fooled.
On the morning of the fifth day, Captain Osius came to check on me before we started moving. “We’ll be on Ilarean soil in a few hours,” he assured me. “You’ll finally be able to leave the carriage and stretch a bit.”
When Elder Nemea had told me the journey would be long, I hadn’t understood that I wouldn’t be able to leave the carriage for days. Ilara had once stretched across the entire continent, but in the past few generations, uprisings had become more common, and we were traveling through two other territories on our journey. The first, Meradin, was mostly thick forest, with small villages here and there along the road. It had been easy to take from the king, apparently, because it was close to the shore, and the king never ventured far from the mountains.
But the land we traveled through now, Pirot, was more disputed. Every week, the rebels claimed more land. A large river was the last physical border protecting Ilara from invaders, Ebb explained.
“When will we reach the castle?” I asked Captain Osius, trying not to sound too desperate. But I didn’t know how much longer I could last without fresh air and sunlight.
“Not until sunset, I’m afraid. But don’t worry. Soon the road will be nothing but a distant memory.” He smiled, but even he looked like he was ready to be home. His beard was becoming unruly, and there were dark circles under his eyes.
We rattled to a stop a few hours after breakfast, and I flew to the window, ignoring Ebb’s pleas that I remain in my seat. We were stopped at the foot of a large wooden bridge that spanned a shimmering mass of water so vast, I at first mistook it for the ocean.
“The River Ilara,” Ebb explained, joining me at the window.
“Does that mean...?”
“Yes, milady. Just across the river is your new home.”
I peered farther out of the window. Home. The word would always evoke Varenia for me, even if I spent the next hundred years in Ilara. Captain Osius was speaking to a man standing at the foot of the bridge. He was dressed similarly to the captain—Ebb had explained that the thick leather plates the men wore were called armor, designed to protect them in battle—but the crest painted on his chest was a white tree framed by a black-and-silver shield.
“Who governs Pirot?” I asked.