I kept the television off. I turned the fan on. I had only one light turned on from the back wall. Then I started my music and started running.
I never checked the time. I just ran. I had missed it and for some reason the urge to go hadn’t been with me. Because of that, I felt it come back twofold. It was trying to contain me, suffocate me, and I went longer because of it.
When I did stop, it was close to three in the morning, and I was panting. My limbs were rubbery. The numb feeling had taken over everything. It seemed like sheets of sweat dropped from me when I left that room and headed to my own. But when I opened my door and turned the light on, I stopped short.
Mason lifted his head from my bed and gave me a small grin. “Hey.”
“Hey.” The door slipped from my fingers. I flinched as it shut louder than I would’ve wanted. “What are you doing here?”
He grinned and pushed up to sit on the edge of my bed. “What do you think, Sam? I’ve been worried.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Oh.” Then he chuckled and ran a hand over his face. “What time is it? I fell asleep in here.”
“You were waiting for me?”
“Yeah.” His eyes held mine and I felt the old intensity. He was searching inside of me. I flinched again.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
He said it so softly, chills went down my back. My own truth slipped out. “For being stupid and selfish.”
“How were you being selfish?”
“I didn’t go to you guys at the game. I couldn’t.” I shook my head and rolled my eyes. “I didn’t want any help from Kate or from your friends. I hate that they think I’m weak.”
“They don’t think you’re weak.”
“Yes,” I laughed. “Yes, they do.”
“Sam.” He started to stand.
I waved him back down and went to my closet. “When did you get here?”
“Ten minutes after my dad called. He said you were upset.”
I sighed as I grabbed the silk robe he’d given me for Christmas. With it in my hands, I felt even more foolish. I should’ve called him. I should’ve told him what was going on with me, but I didn’t. I refused. I ended up snapping at my mother because of it. If I had called, maybe none of it would’ve happened. I wouldn’t have gone to David’s. I wouldn’t have seen the box. I wouldn’t have gotten so angry at her.
I swallowed a knot in my throat. “I got mad at my dad’s, at David’s, whatever. I don’t know what I’m supposed to call him, but I got mad. I saw a box that had—it’s stupid. There were things important to me in there and I remember that my mom kicked it away. She didn’t take it with her and that hit home, I guess. I feel stupid now.”
“Come here.”
I shook my head. “I smell. I should shower.”
“So let’s shower.” He gave me a smirk as he stood and went to the bathroom.
“Mason?”
I followed, but he had already stripped off his shirt before he tested the water temperature. His jeans were on, but the zipper was undone. His black boxers were visible and I swallowed for another reason. My lips were dry. My stomach fluttered and my knees went weak, weaker than from the running.
I almost groaned out loud. It’d been two days. I hadn’t seen him in two days.
My voice came out hoarse. “Did you see your mom downstairs?”
He glanced at me and rolled his eyes. “Come on.” Then he grabbed my hand and pulled me underneath the shower spray.
I gasped from the sudden movement, but the water pounded down in a warm torrent. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling, of being with him, of being cleansed, and of the feeling from his fingers as he stripped my clothes away. He bent down and chucked his jeans next. When we were both naked, I grinned at him. His eyes were already dark as he pulled me against him. Then he asked with his lips on mine, “What were you saying about our parents?”
Our eyes held. My hands lifted to his arms and I clung to him. My lips moved against his, “Nothing. They don’t matter.”
“No,” he whispered back. His hand pulled me closer. “They don’t.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
When I woke at eight in the morning, I rolled out from underneath Mason’s hand. It was settled on my breast and I fought back a snort. It was his favorite sleeping position. I dressed in new running gear and grabbed my headphones again before I went to the door.
I had lied to Mason a few hours before. I said that I felt stupid and that our parents didn’t matter, but they did. The fight with Analise didn’t stay with me, but the look on both my dads’ faces did. Garrett was ashamed when I had walked into the kitchen. There was something else, something that twisted in my stomach and I couldn’t get it out. I couldn’t name it so it wouldn’t leave me. But as I opened the door and hit the pavement, I thought about my other dad.
I had gone to his house. His, not mine. It wasn’t my home, hadn’t been for awhile, but it felt like I still lived there. It felt like it was just yesterday that I was excited to start school. Jeff wanted to seal the deal, his terms. Jessica and Lydia were still boy crazy and fun to spend time with. My mother was happy with David. That all felt like yesterday and I gulped for more air as I sailed around the block.
Nothing had changed, but everything had changed.
When did I wake up with Mason Kade in my bed? It felt like yesterday that I only knew of him, and now I was sleeping with him.