Fantasy Lover
"Yes, Selena," Grace said into the phone as she dressed for work. "It's been a week. I'm fine."
"You don't sound fine," Selena said skeptically. "You still sound a little shaken."
Truthfully, she was. But she was safe thanks to Julian. And she hadn't seen poor Rodney afterward.
Once the police had statements from them, Julian had taken her home and she'd done her best not to dwell on it. "Really. I'm okay."
Julian came into the bedroom. "You're running late." He took the phone from her and handed her a Danish. "Finish dressing," he said to her, then he turned his attention to Selena.
Grace frowned as he walked out of the room and she couldn't hear him talking.
As she dressed, it dawned on her just how comfortable she'd become with Julian. She absolutely loved having him around. She loved taking care of him and having him take care of her. The mutualness of their relationship was wonderful.
"Grace," he said as he stuck his head back into the bedroom. "You're still running late."
She laughed as she slid her high heels on. "I'm going, I'm going."
When they got to the front door, she realized he didn't have his shoes on. "You're not coming today?"
"Do you need me to?"
Grace hesitated. She actually liked being able to have lunch with him and tease him between sessions. But then, she was sure it was boring for him to sit up there hour after hour, waiting for her. "No."
He gave her a hungry kiss. "I'll see you tonight."
Reluctantly, she let go and hurried out the door to her car.
It was one of the longest days in history. Grace sat at her desk, counting the seconds until she could get her patient out the door.
When five o'clock came, she gave poor Rachel the bum's rush for the door, then quickly gathered up her things and went home.
It didn't take her long to get there. She frowned as she saw Selena waiting for her on the front porch.
"Something wrong?" Grace asked as she joined her.
"Not hardly. But I'll give you a word of advice, break that curse. Julian is a major keeper."
Grace frowned even more as Selena left her and headed to her Jeep. Bemused, she opened the door.
"Julian?" she called.
"I'm in the bedroom."
Grace headed up the stairs. She found him lying in a most yummy way on the bed with his head propped up on one arm, and a single red rose lying on the mattress before him. He was so incredibly gorgeous and inviting. Especially with those dimples flashing, and with a light in his celestial blue eyes that could only be called impish.
"You look like the cat that ate the canary," she said quietly. "What did the two of you do today?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing," she repeated doubtfully. Now why didn't she believe that? Because he looks just a little too mischievous.
Her gaze fell to the rose. "For me?"
"Yes."
She smiled at his clipped, short answers, and dropped her shoes by the bed before pulling off her hose.
Looking up, she caught Julian's very interested stare as he craned his neck to watch her. He smiled again.
Grace picked up the rose and smelted its sweet fragrance. "It's a nice surprise," she said, kissing Julian on the cheek for it. "Thank you."
"I'm glad you like it," he whispered, running his hand along her jawbone.
Reluctantly, Grace withdrew and crossed the room to place the rose on the dresser and open the top drawer.
She froze. Lying on top of her clothes was a small hardcover copy of Peter Pan with a big red ribbon tied around it.
Gasping, she took it in her hands and untied the ribbon. As she flipped to the first page, her heart skipped a beat. "Oh, my God, it's a signed first edition!"
"Do you like it?"
"Like it?" she said, her eyes misting. "Oh, Julian!"
She launched herself at him and rained kisses all over his face. "You are so wonderful! Thank you!"
For the first time, she saw him look embarrassed.
"This is just..." Her voice trailed off as she glanced to her closet. The door was slightly ajar, and the light inside was on.
Surely, he hadn't...
Slowly, Grace approached it. She opened the door wider, and looked inside.
Joyous tears filled her eyes as warmth spread through her. Her shelves were again covered in books. Her hand shook as she reached out and ran it over the spines of her new collection.
"Am I dreaming?" she whispered.
She felt Julian behind her. He wasn't touching her, yet she could feel him with every pore, every sense of her body. It wasn't physical, but it was earth-shattering. And it left her breathless.
"We couldn't find all of them, especially your paperbacks, but Selena said we got the most important ones."
A single tear fell down her cheek as she saw copies of her father's books. How had they managed to find them?
Her heart pounded as she glanced at all her favorite titles: The Three Musketeers, Beowulf, The Scarlet Letter, The Wolf and the Dove, Master of Desire, Fallen, The Lawman Who Loved Her, on and on it went until it made her dizzy.
Overwhelmed and giddy, she let the tears fall down her cheeks.
She turned about and threw her arms around Julian. "Thank you," she wept. "But how? How did you do this?"
He shrugged, then reached up to wipe away her tears. It was then she noticed his hand.
And what was missing from it.
"Not your ring," she whispered, seeing the light skin on one of the fingers of his right hand where the ring had been. "Tell me you didn't?"
"It was just a ring, Grace."
No it wasn't. She remembered the look on his face when Dr. Lewis had asked to buy it.
"Never," Julian had said. "You've no idea what I had to go through to get this."
But after hearing his stories of his past, she had a good idea. And he had sold it for her.
Trembling, she stood up on her tiptoes and kissed him fiercely.
Julian froze in shock as her lips touched his. She'd never before reached out to him in such a manner. Closing his eyes, he clenched his hand in her hair, letting it spill down his forearm as he moaned into her mouth.
His head spun from the taste of her. From the feel of her. From the way she kissed him as he'd never been kissed before-
With the whole of her heart.
It shook him all the way to his cursed soul.
In that moment, he truly wanted time to stand still. He didn't want to live another second without her in it. Couldn't imagine a day when he didn't have her by his side.
He felt his control slipping. The pain of madness sliced across his head and his groin simultaneously.
Not yet! his mind shouted. He didn't want it to end. Not right now. Not when he was so close.
So close...
But he had no choice.
Reluctantly, he pulled back from her. "I take it you like that, as well?"
She laughed at him. "Of course I do, you crazy man." She wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head against his chest.
Julian quivered as unfamiliar emotions tore through him. He enveloped her with his arms, feeling her heart beating in rapid time with his.
If he could, he'd stay like this, holding on to her forever.
But he couldn't.
He stepped back from her.
She looked up, her brow wrinkled.
He smoothed the frown away with his hand. "I'm not rejecting you, my sweet," he whispered. "I'm just not feeling like myself at the moment."
"The curse?"
He nodded.
"Is there anything I can do?"
"Just give me a minute to fight it."
Grace bit her lip as he moved stiffly to the bed. It was the only time she hadn't seen absolute, fluid grace in his movements. He looked as if he could barely breathe, as if he had a terrible ache in the pit of his stomach. He wrapped his hand around the bedpost so tightly that she could see his knuckles protrude.
Pain sliced through her at the sight and she wanted to comfort him. More than ever, she wanted to help him.
In fact, she wanted him...
She wanted him. Period.
Grace's jaw dropped as the full impact of her thoughts swept over her.
She loved him.
She truly, deeply, and most profoundly loved him.
How could she not?
Her heart hammering, Grace swept her gaze over the books in her closet. Memories assailed her. Julian the night he'd appeared and offered himself to her, Julian loving her in the shower, Julian comforting her, making her laugh, Julian coming through the top of the elevator to save her, and Julian lying on the bed with the rose as he watched her find his gifts.
Selena was right. He was a major keeper and she never wanted to let him go.
It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him, but she caught herself. Now wasn't the time. Not when he was in such obvious agony. Not when he was vulnerable.
He would want to know.
Or would he?
Grace considered the repercussions of telling him. He didn't like it here in her time. She knew that. He wanted to go home. If she told him how she felt, he might stay for no other reason, and if he had no reason of his own to stay, he might grow to resent her for keeping him away from all he'd once known. All he'd been.
Or worse, what if it didn't work out?
As a psychologist, she knew better than anyone all the problems that could crop up in a relationship and destroy it.
One of the biggest reasons for breakups was the lack of common ground to build on between two people who shared nothing but physical attraction.
She and Julian were about as different as two people could ever be. She was a plain, twenty-first-century psychologist and he was a gorgeous second-century B.C. Macedonian general. Talk about a fish and a bird trying to find a place where they could both live!
Two more different people had never been born and forced together.
Right now, they were both basking in the newness of the relationship. But they didn't really know each other that well. What if in a year's time they weren't really in love?
For that matter, what if he changed once the curse was lifted?
Julian had told her that he'd been a different man back in Macedonia. What if part of his current charm or his attraction to her was from the curse? According to Cupid, the curse made Julian feel compelled toward her.
What if they broke the curse and he became someone else entirely? Someone who no longer wanted her?
What then?
Once he gave up his chance to go home, she was sure he'd never have another one.
Grace struggled to breathe as she realized she couldn't even say to him, "Let's try and see what happens." Because once he made his decision, there would be no second chances.
Grace swallowed, wishing she could see into the future like Selena did. But then, even Selena was wrong at times. For Julian's sake, Grace couldn't afford to be wrong.
No, there would only be one acceptable reason for him to stay. He would have to love her as much as she loved him.
And that was about as likely as the sky falling in on her head in the next ten minutes.
Closing her eyes, Grace winced at the truth. He could never be hers. One way or another, she would have to let him go.
And it was going to kill her.
Julian drew a ragged breath and released the bed. He gave her a tenuous smile. "That hurt," he said.
"I can tell." She reached to touch him, but he stepped back from her like a man who was about to come into contact with a snake.
Grace dropped her hand. "I'll go fix dinner."
Julian watched her leave the room. He wanted to go after her so badly that he could barely refrain. But he didn't dare.
He needed a little more time to compose himself. More time to quell the fire coursing through him, threatening to overwhelm him.
He shook his head. How could her touch give him such strength, and yet at the same time make him so incredibly weak?
Grace had just finished making canned soup and sandwiches when Julian joined her in the kitchen.
"Feeling better?"
"Yes," he said, sitting down at the table.
Grace circled her spoon around her bowl while she watched him eat. The fading sunlight caught in his hair, highlighting it. He sat perfectly straight up in the chair and every time he moved, a surge of desire tore through her. She could watch him all day and never grow tired of it.
Worse, what she really wanted to do was get up, go over to him, and sit in his lap. Then run her hands through those golden waves as she kissed the daylights out of him.
Stop it! If she didn't get hold of herself, she would succumb to that urge!
"You know," she said hesitantly. "I've been thinking. What if you did stay here? Would it be so bad to live in my time?"
The look he gave her quelled her. "We've already had this discussion. I don't belong here. I don't understand your world, your customs. I feel awkward and I hate that."
Grace cleared her throat. Fine, she wouldn't mention it again.
Sighing, she picked up her sandwich and ate it, even though what she really wanted to do was argue.
After they finished dinner, Julian helped her clean the kitchen.
"You want me to read to you?" she asked.
"Sure," he said, but she could tell there was something wrong. He was guarded with her, almost cold.
She hadn't seen him like this since he'd first appeared.
Grace went upstairs and got her new copy of Peter Pan, then came back downstairs. Julian was already on the floor, piling the cushions for them.
She took her seat, lying perpendicular to him and propping her head against the side of his stomach. After turning to the first page, she began to read.
Julian listened to Grace's smooth, lilting voice, all the while staring at her. As she read the words, he watched her eyes dance across the page.
He'd promised himself he wouldn't touch her, but against his will, he found himself reaching to stroke her hair. The contact of it against his skin made him burn, made his groin tighten even more as he ached to possess her.
While the silken sable strands of her hair caressed his fingers, he let her voice take him far away from here. To a place that was so comforting, it almost felt like the elusive home he had searched eternity for.
A place where only the two of them existed. There were no gods here, no curses.
Just them.
And it felt wonderful.
Grace arched a brow as she felt Julian's hand leave her hair and reach for the top button on her shirt. She held her breath in hopeful expectation, yet she also hesitated.
"What are you-"
"Keep reading," he said as he worked the button through the hole.
Her body growing hot, she read the next paragraph. He undid the next button.
"Julian-"
"Read."
She read another paragraph as his hand moved to the next button down. His actions were making her crazy as her breath quickened, her heart pounded.
She looked over to see the hungry look in his eyes. "What is this? A strip reading session? I read a paragraph, you open a button?"
He answered her question by running his warm hand over her bra, cupping her breast gently in his palm. Grace moaned in pleasure as he massaged her through the satin. The warmth of his hand on her skin sent chills up her arms.
"Read," he commanded again.
"Oh, yeah, like I can do that while you're..."
He released the front catch on her bra, then cupped her breast tenderly in his hand.
"Julian!"
"Read to me, Grace. Please."
As if that were possible!
But the underlying plea in his tone tugged at her heart. Forcing herself, she turned her attention to the book as Julian glided his hand over her bare skin.
His touch was so soothing, so gentle. Sublime. This wasn't the fiery caress he used to seduce and inflame her, it was something else entirely. It went beyond the depth of her flesh. It went all the way to her heart.
After a time, she grew used to the small circles he drew around her breasts and nipples, down her belly. She lost herself to the moment, to the feeling of closeness she shared with him.
By the time she finished the book, it was almost ten. Julian ran the backs of his knuckles across her hardened nipple as she set the book aside.
"You have such beautiful breasts."
"I'm glad you think so." She heard his stomach rumble under her ear. "Sounds like you're hungry."
"What I'm hungry for, food won't sate."
Her face flooded with heat.
He ran his hand from her belly button, up to her throat, then down the line of her jaw to her hair. He traced the outline of her lips with his thumb.
"How odd," he said. "It's your kiss that sends me over the brink."
"I beg your pardon?"
He dropped his hand back to her stomach. "I love the way your skin feels against me. The softness of your flesh under my hand," he said quietly. "But it's only when our lips touch that I feel my sanity slipping. Why do you think that is?"
"I don't know."
The phone rang.
Julian cursed. "I really hate those things."
"I'm beginning to, too."
He moved his hand away from her so she could rise.
Grace captured his hand and moved it back to her breasts. "Let it ring."
He smiled at that, then dipped his head toward hers. Their lips were so close, she could feel his breath on her face. Suddenly, he pulled back sharply.
She saw the agony, the longing in his eyes an instant before he closed them, and clenched his teeth as if struggling to restrain himself.
"Go answer your phone," he whispered, releasing her.
Grace stood on shaky legs and crossed the room to her cordless phone as she clutched her shirt closed over her breasts.
"Hi, Selena."
Julian listened to her talk, his heart heavy as he fought down the fire tearing through him.
The last thing he wanted was to leave this haven. He'd never enjoyed much of anything in his life until he'd met Grace. Now, he was covetous of every second of her time.
"Hang on, let me ask." Grace came back to his side. "Selena and Bill want to know if we want to go out with them Saturday?"
"It's up to you," he said, hoping she would decline.
She smiled and put the phone back to her ear. "That sounds great, Selena. It'll be a lot of fun... Okay, see you then."
She set the phone aside. "I'm going to take a quick shower before bed. Okay?"
Julian nodded. He watched her walk up the stairs. More than ever before, he wished himself mortal again.
He would give anything to be able to follow her up the stairs, lay her down on the bed, and bury himself deep inside her body.
Closing his eyes, he swore he could feel the wet heat of her surrounding him.
He clenched his fist in his hair. How many more days could he stand the torture?
And yet, he wanted to fight it. He refused to surrender his sanity even one second sooner than the Fates decreed.
Grace felt Julian's presence. Turning around, she saw him outside the shower, completely naked.
Her gaze feasted on every inch of that golden body, but it was his warm, charming smile that absolutely stole her heart and made her breathless.
Without a word, he stepped inside.
"You know," he said with a casualness that astounded her. "I found something interesting this morning."
She watched the water fall over him, slicking his hair back until it fell in short, wet ringlets about his face.
"Did you?" she asked, resisting her impulse to reach up and capture one of those locks between her fingertips. Or better yet, her teeth.
"Mmm," he said, running his hand up the long cord of the shower until he took the shower head from its cradle. He turned the dial to a soft massage. "Turn around."
Grace hesitated before she obeyed.
Julian ran his gaze over her sleek, wet back. In all his life, he'd never seen a woman more inviting.
She was everything he'd ever dreamed of having and yet he dared not hope. Dared not dream.
He lowered his gaze down her voluptuous curves. Her legs were slightly parted as she stood. An image of spreading them wider and plunging himself into her tore through him.
Struggling to breathe, he aimed the shower head at her shoulders.
"That feels so good," she whispered.
Julian couldn't speak. He clenched his jaw to keep himself from yielding to his body's ravenous demand for hers. His need to touch her was so profound that it made a mockery of the one he felt for food and water while trapped in the book.
Grace turned to him, her face glowing. She reached around him and picked up the washcloth and soaped it. Julian didn't move as she bathed him. Her hands slid over his chest and abdomen, firing his hunger for her even more.
He held his breath in eager anticipation as her hand moved lower and lower.
Grace bit her lip as she touched the rigid muscles of his stomach. She looked up to watch Julian watch her. His eyes were half-closed, and he appeared to be savoring every stroke of her hands on his skin.
Wanting to please him, she ran the cloth over the coffee-colored curls at the center of his body. He sucked his breath in sharply as she reached between his legs to cup him gently in her hand. She smiled again as she felt a shudder run through him.
The look of pleasure on his face delighted her. Her heart pounding, she moved her hand up to gently massage his swollen shaft.
She heard the shower head hit the side of the tub an instant before he enveloped her in his arms and buried his lips against her neck.
Grace trembled from the sensations as their wet bodies entwined. The love she felt for him swelled through her, begging for a miracle that would let them have a life together.
In that instant, she wished she could feel him inside her. Feel him take possession of her body the way he had her heart.
As his lips tortured her with pleasure, he brought his thigh up between her legs. The tiny hairs on his leg teased her in a way that melted her will.
Feverishly, Grace rubbed herself against his wet, sleek thigh, relishing the feel of his strong muscles contracting between her legs as he continued to suckle her throat. Oh, how she loved this man. How she longed to hear him tell her that she meant as much to him as he did to her.
He ran his hands over her back, then her front.
His gaze scorched her as he lowered her to the bottom of the tub.
"What are you..." Her words ended in a gasp as he plunged his tongue into her ear.
She felt his arm flex as he reached for the shower head and brought it back to pummel her body with its pulsating heat. He moved it in slow, sensuous circles over her breasts, her stomach. On fire from the stimulation of the water and his body, she struggled to breathe.
Julian shook all over in desperate need. He wanted to please her in a way he'd never wanted to please anyone. He longed to see her writhing beneath him. Hear her screaming out her release.
Nudging her thighs farther apart, he moved the shower head to spray between her legs.
Grace choked as an indescribable pleasure ripped through her. "Julian?" she gasped as her body quivered from the feel of his fingers inside her, filling her, teasing her while the water heightened his moves.
Never, never had she experienced anything like it. He rotated his wrist, circling the pulsating water around her until she couldn't stand it.
When her climax came a second later, she screamed from it.
Julian smiled while he held his body rigidly still to keep from filling her. Even so, he wasn't through with her. He would never be through with her.
With his hands, his tongue, and the shower, he brought her to climax five more times.
"Please, Julian," she begged after the last one. "Have mercy. I can't take any more."
Deciding he had tortured the two of them enough, Julian reached behind him and turned off the water.
Grace couldn't move. Any sensation, no matter how small, rocked her. She watched him stand up between her legs, staring at her with a hint of a smile on his face.
"You've killed me," she breathed. "Now you have to hide the body."
He laughed at that. He stepped out of the tub, then reached over and picked her up.
She savored the feel of his bare skin against hers as he carried her to the bed, then dried her off with the towel.
Slowly, carefully, he used the terry cloth in a way she was sure no one had ever meant for terry cloth to be used. He slid it sensuously over her arms, her breasts, then down her stomach in slow, torturous swirls.
"Open your legs for me, Grace."
Her will gone, she obeyed.
Grace moaned at the feel of the cloth stroking the tender, throbbing flesh between her thighs. Then the cloth was gone, replaced by his fingers.
"Julian, please. I don't think I can do it again."
He didn't listen. Neither did her body. To her amazement, she came again.
Julian leaned over her then and whispered in her ear, "I could make you do that all night."
She looked up into his eyes, and it was then she realized the full extent of his curse. His body was still fully erect, his brow covered in sweat.
How could he stand to watch her climax again and again, knowing he, himself, couldn't?
Her only thought her love for him, she sat up and kissed him.
Julian pulled away violently. He sank to the floor, writhing as if he were being beaten.
Terrified of what she'd done, Grace slid off the bed. "I'm sorry," she said, reaching out to him. "I forgot."
He whirled on her then, his eyes that strange, horrible dark color.
Julian trembled as he fought his madness down. It was the fear in her face that finally succeeded in calming him.
He moved away from her as if she were poisonous.
Grace watched as he used the steps to her bed to push himself to his feet.
"It's getting worse," he said, his voice shaky.
Grace couldn't speak. She couldn't stand seeing him in pain. And she hated herself for pushing him over the edge.
Without looking back at her, Julian gathered his clothes and left the room.
It was several heartbeats before Grace could move again. When she finally found the ability to stand, she went to dress. She opened the top drawer and her eyes fell to the box that contained the handcuffs.
How many more days would they have before she lost him forever?