I step closer to hear what he says, because fuck them all if they think they’ll shut me out.

“He came through the surgery well,” Dr. Madison, according to his name badge, says. “He’s strong, that one. He swerved to avoid the pipes and miraculously sustained few injuries when his car collided with the guardrail. The trauma sustained by his torso, though, caused extensive internal bleeding. We have it under control, but it’s tricky and has to be monitored closely. If not stopped, it could cause brain damage, cardiac arrest, and any number of organ dysfunctions.”

“But it’s under control?” I ask, ignoring the three sets of Ross women’s eyes that shift to me at the question. “He’ll be okay?”

I see him making the calculations. If the older woman is Kenan’s mother, and Bridget and Simone are his “wife” and child, then who am I?

Bridget gives me a flinty look. “I really don’t think—”

“Lotus is Daddy’s girlfriend,” Simone says, watching me with unblinking eyes. “She needs to know, too.”

Bridget’s mouth drops open, but Kenan’s mother brushes her hand over Simone’s hair in a caress and looks at me.

“He’s talked a lot about you,” Mrs. Ross says.

She wants more grandkids.

I bite my lip, beating back the fear that I’ll never be able to give them to her. I nod jerkily, unable to form words, and look back to the doctor, silently urging him to go on.

“So yes,” he addresses me and my question. “But we aren’t out of the woods yet.”

“When can we see him?” I ask.

When can I see him?

I need to lay eyes on him, to see that massive chest rising and falling at regular, reassuring intervals.

“He’s just out of surgery,” Dr. Madison says. “It’ll be a while.”

He turns a concerned look on Simone, who seems to be fading, her eyes heavy. “You’ve all been here for hours. This would be a perfect time to go home. Catch a shower and a few winks. By the time you return, you’ll be able to see him.”

Simone shakes her head, her chin setting to a stubborn angle. “No, I want to—”

“Dr. Madison’s right,” Mrs. Ross interrupts gently, firmly. “We’ll run home, shower, lie down for an hour, and come back.”

“But Grandma—”

“Listen to your grandmother.” Bridget puts an arm around her daughter’s shoulder. “It’s just for a little while.”

Simone’s shoulders droop, and she wears her disappointment in every line of her body.

“We’ll talk when I come back,” Mrs. Ross says to me through a tired smile. “We have a lot to learn about each other.”

“I’d like that,” I reply. My eyes drift back to Simone, disconcerted to find her staring at me.

“You love him,” she says, a statement, not a question. There’s a sobriety to her that reminds me so much of her father, my heart reaches out to her like hands stretched toward a fire, seeking warmth.

Maybe it’s unwise, maybe it will unravel all that we’ve worked to make right for her these last few weeks, but Kenan said she was better and we were close, so I’ll take him at his word.

“I love him very much, yes,” I answer, struggling to keep my voice steady.

“He loves you, too,” Simone whispers. Tears gather over her blue eyes, an ocean of fear.

“He’s going to be fine,” I say to her, holding her stare and hoping she feels my faith. “He will.”

She stares back for a few seconds before dropping her head to her grandmother’s shoulder.

“Let’s go, Moni,” Mrs. Ross says. “The sooner we go, the sooner we come back.”

Simone nods and trails after her grandmother toward the exit.

Bridget doesn’t follow them, but stands her ground in front of me. We eye each other, neither wavering or backing down.

“When he pulls through,” she says, her voice stiff, “you be better to him than I was.”

Shock holds me completely still for a moment, and then I draw a breath. I don’t speak, because anything I say to the woman who lost the best man I know would be wrong, inadequate. There’s no consolation prize on Earth that could satisfy me if I lost Kenan. I don’t know if she still actually loves him, or just regrets that someone has assumed the place in his life she forfeited. Either way, it’s obviously hard, so I nod, silently assuring her that he’ll have my very best. Without another glance, she walks the path Simone and Mrs. Ross took.

“We’ll be back,” she says over her shoulder, rounds the corner, and disappears.

“You go home, August,” Iris says. “With Michael and Sarai. Relieve the sitter. I’ll let you know when he’s awake.”

I’d forgotten August was here—forgotten Yari and Billie, curled up in hard chairs, nodding off to sleep. August gives me a quick reassuring squeeze and then leaves.

“Hi, Lotus,” Decker says. “Not sure if you remember me.”

“Yes, I remember,” I say, managing a smile and accepting the hand he offers. “And Kenan’s talked about you a lot, Deck.”

“Same.” Decker squeezes my hand. “I need to go report back to the team, but wanted to at least say hi.” He leans close enough to whisper, “He’s a great guy. He’ll make you happy.”

Tears prick my eyes, and my smile widens. “I’m gonna make him happy, too.”

Decker smiles down at me. “He deserves that.”

And then he’s gone. The room is quickly emptying, everyone taking Dr. Madison’s advice, but I cannot leave. I won’t.

“You okay?” Iris asks, studying me closely.

“Yeah.” The exhaustion I’ve ignored since we landed in San Diego falls on me like a pile of rocks, but I don’t want to go to sleep. “I think I’ll grab some air to clear my head.”

“I could use some fresh air, too,” Billie says, standing.

“I’ll come with,” Yari says.

“I’m gonna call the sitter.” Iris fishes her phone from her jeans pocket. “I know August is on his way home, but I need to talk to her myself.”

“We’ll be right back,” I tell her.

Once outside, the “fresh air” Billie needed is a smoke break. Yari and I step a breathable distance away from her noxious puffs. It’s later than I realized. Or rather, earlier. It’s morning. We arrived in the middle of the night, and the sun has already started its climb, illuminating another day. A vise cross-stitched from anxiety and fear still grips me by the throat, but with each passing second, I breathe easier. He’s not out of the woods yet, but he will be. Void of complications, he’ll recover. I cling to that and try to clear my mind of the scenarios that tortured me while I tried to reach him.

“Glad the rain stopped,” Yari says, leaning against the brick wall a few feet down from the glowing tip of Billie’s cigarette.

“I know.” Billie takes a long draw. “It supposedly never rains in Southern California.”

I’m about to agree when I hear it. The faintest whisper I’ve learned to trust.

Look up.

And I see what I’ve only ever seen once before. The thing most never witness once in a lifetime, I’ve now seen twice. Colors set aflame, an omen streaking through the clouds. A fire rainbow.

“No.” The word ejects itself from my body. A denial. A rebuttal to the sky’s prophecy. “No.”

“What?” Billie asks. “No, what?”

I don’t answer. I can’t. I sprint back to the hospital entrance and down the hall, my legs and arms pumping, my heart exploding. I barrel around the corner and into the waiting room. Iris sits there alone, still chatting with the sitter, I presume.

“Iris,” I say in a rush of breath and terror. “Something’s wrong. I have to go to him right now.”

Eyes widening, she says a hasty goodbye and disconnects the call. “But the doctor said—”

“I don’t care what the damn doctor said,” I scream and start down the hall I saw Dr. Madison take, dragging Iris with me.

“Wait!” Iris resists, digs her heels in and stops us. ”You heard Dr. Madison. We can’t see him yet. Void of any complications—”

“I need you to come with me, Iris. Please shut the fuck up and help me find him.”

Yari rushes in, chest heaving. “Lo, what’s wrong?”

“If you can calm down,” Iris says soothingly, “and tell me what—”

“I won’t calm down,” I screech, ignoring their wide eyes and gaping mouths. “There’s something wrong. I know it!”

Billie rounds the corner, frantically searching our faces. “What’d I miss? What’s wrong?”

“Lotus wants to see Kenan now,” Iris says. “But, honey, we can’t see him yet. We—”

“Come with me,” I beg, my voice breaking on a sob. “I need you, Bo.”

Her eyes lock with mine, and something, I don’t care what—my desperation, our lifelong bond, the desire to placate me—persuades her and she nods.

“I don’t understand.” Iris’s sigh is resigned. “But I’ll come with you.”

“Thank you,” I whisper, pulling her down the hall behind me. “Thank you so much.”

I speed-walk past the reception desk, ignoring the woman yelling at me to stop. I check each room, peering through the windows and jerking open doors.

“Lotus, you can’t do that,” Iris hisses a warning from behind me. “I got the receptionist to wait on calling security, but you’re gonna get both our asses dragged out of here.”

I ignore her and keep walking until goosebumps scatter across my arms. My steps stutter, and my breath shallows as cold assaults my flesh.

“It’s this one,” I whisper.