All of my frustration from last night had turned into a sorrow so heavy I knew I had to release it. As quietly as I could, I slipped out of my bedroll and made my way to the river. Mist rolled on the surface of the water in the pre-dawn light. I sat on the same rock I’d sat on with Adriel last night and let the tears come, weeping silently as the forest began to wake around me.
At the sound of soft footsteps behind me, I whipped around, hand flying to my waist before I remembered I had left my knife under my pillow.
Roan raised his hands. “It’s just me,” he said.
I groaned and wiped my tears on my tunic. “I’m fine. I needed to be alone.”
“You don’t look fine.” He approached the rock slowly. “If this is about what I said to you last night...”
I rolled my eyes and turned away from him. “This has nothing to do with you, Roan.”
“Okay.” He sat down next to me, and I scooted as far from him as I could. “What was the nightmare about?”
“It wasn’t really a nightmare,” I said. “It was one of Ceren’s memories, and it was heartbreaking.”
“You’re sure it was a memory? Is it possible he gave you some kind of false vision?”
I shook my head. “No. I don’t know how I know, but I’m sure it was real.”
“Empathy can be overwhelming at times. I can’t imagine what it would be like to experience someone else’s painful memories like that.”
“Is that why you were so patient with Yana?” I asked. “Because you can empathize with her pain?”
“I suppose so. But I’ve also known her since I was a child, and I know she’s a good person. Even good people can do bad things when they’re suffering.”
I thought of Ceren, staring into nothing though the pain he’d caused himself had to be excruciating. “I’m worried about the queen,” I said. “Talia. I know Talin loves her and that she was a wonderful mother to him, but what if she’s not the person he remembers? In this memory, she was so callous toward Ceren. He was just a child.”
Roan nodded. “I can understand your concern.”
“It’s just...what if the person Talin is risking everything to help is no better than the person we’re trying to stop?”
“I don’t know,” Roan said. “But I suppose we’ll find out soon enough.”
21
Over the course of the next few days, we encountered travelers heading north on the road, but they all gave us a wide berth and sent suspicious looks our way. I doubted such a large number of Galethians had been seen together south of their border before, and it was clear that Sami, Zadie, and I were not Galethians despite our escort.
Thankfully, there were no more signs of Ceren’s soldiers, and I didn’t dream of him again. But the image of his thin, bruised arms and empty eyes haunted me just the same.
On the one hand, I was glad Ceren hadn’t caught up with us, but I had a terrible feeling that meant he had never left New Castle. Which meant Talin would have had no chance to rescue the Varenians. Regardless, our plan had been to meet Talin and the others in the south, where Talia’s army was.
We reached the outskirts of Riaga on the evening of the sixth day, planning to remain in the area only long enough to replenish our supplies at the port market the following morning. The mood in the city had changed since we were here last. We overheard people speculating that the woman king’s army had reached the southern end of the River Ilara, and mercenaries roamed the streets with their weapons slung prominently on their hips or backs.
“Sell swords,” Shiloh explained. “They’ll work for the highest bidder.”
“I don’t get the impression that the woman king and Ceren are leaving people much of a choice,” I said.
“No,” Shiloh said. “But Pirot has its own army.”
“Pirot swore to help Talin’s mother.”
“If they’re smart, they’ll wait until they see who has the upper hand before sending troops.” Roan dismounted and passed his reins to Shiloh. “I’m going to see about finding us rooms for the night.”
It took me a moment to realize that the seedy-looking building with poorly dressed men and women smoking out front was an inn.
“Here?” I asked. “Talin gave me some money. We can find something better.”
“We’re not looking for fancy,” Roan said. “We’re looking for something that will have enough rooms for all of us.”
He disappeared inside and came out a few minutes later, looking extremely angry.
“They won’t let rooms to Galethians,” he said, swinging onto his horse. “They said no one in Riaga will.”
Sami shook his head. “Surely coin is coin. I’ve never had any problem trading, as long as I have something they want.”
“That was before the war reached Riaga. The innkeepers said they won’t take sides.”
“But the Galethians are not on a side,” I said.
“He seemed to think our presence proves otherwise. He slammed the door in my face when I tried to argue. In the meantime, you should rest, eat, and bathe. My soldiers and I will get whatever supplies we need at the market tomorrow and meet you at the southern end of the city at dusk.”
“No. We’re not splitting up, Roan.”
“I’m afraid we don’t have a choice. Not if you want a chance to recover. Shiloh will stand guard outside the inn, to make sure you don’t get into any trouble.” He looked at me as he added this last bit, but I’d learned not to take his teasing seriously.
“Ceren could have soldiers in Riaga looking for us.” The idea was to lure Ceren out, not run into him when we were without an escort.
“Exactly. And we’ll be a lot easier to spot if we’re together. As long as you stay in the inn, there shouldn’t be a problem.”
“I have contacts at the market,” Sami said. “I should go with you to trade, surely.”
“We’ll take care of the supplies.” Roan glanced at me. “You just take care of each other.”
Adriel scowled as he rounded up his soldiers and headed south, out of Riaga. “If they weren’t going to stay with us, they could have found us better accommodations.”
“At least you’ll get a bath and a meal,” Shiloh said. “I’ll be out here if you need me.”
“I can’t help with the bath, but we’ll bring you something to eat,” Adriel promised. “I’m sorry you have to stay with us.”