A man stepped forward and gestured for us to follow.
“Roan and Nor will stay,” Talia said. “We have much to discuss.”
The others looked at me questioningly, but I nodded for them to go. I was exhausted and hungry, but that could wait. What I wanted most was to talk to Talin alone, but it seemed that would have to wait as well.
When we were all seated at the table, Talia rose and waved her hand over the large map spread in front of us. “We were just discussing our plans for crossing into Ilara, now that my son has taken the border.”
I glanced at Talin. I knew he was a soldier; he had been the head of the king’s guard when I arrived at New Castle, after all. But the thought of him fighting in a war was something I hadn’t really allowed myself to dwell on.
“We’re close to Old Castle,” Talin said as he rose from his chair. “If we can take it, we’ll have a much more secure place to camp and plan our next attack.”
“Do we know if Ceren has soldiers posted there?” I asked. “It seems unlikely he’d leave it wide open for the taking.”
“He does,” Talin said. “Ebb was able to tell us that much, fortunately. I sent Osius to scout it out this morning. We’ll know more when he returns.”
“Once we take Old Castle,” Talia said, “we can plan our assault on New Castle.”
“Assault?” I asked, earning a surprised look from Talia.
“Do you prefer a different term, child?”
I glanced at Talin, wondering if he’d told his mother our original plan. “I’m sorry. I just thought that New Castle was impenetrable.”
Talia flashed another one of her tight smiles. “I lived in that castle for years. My son grew up there. Do you know something about New Castle that we don’t?”
Roan stepped in before I could answer. “We’d like to know more about your strategy before we decide if we’ll join your efforts.”
Talin glanced at me before returning his gaze to Roan. “I thought you’d already made your decision,” he said.
“I want to meet the woman king before I decide anything.”
“Zoi isn’t here,” Talia said with a laugh. “And she’s four years old. She doesn’t generally attend our council meetings.”
“Funny, you didn’t mention Zoi’s absence when I brought it up earlier. And considering you’re doing all this in her name, I would think she has some idea of what’s happening.”
“Roan,” I hissed, but he ignored me.
“If you plan to rule in her stead,” he said, “then I believe I can make my decision now.” He rose to his feet. “Thank you for your hospitality, Talia. Nor, Talin, I hope to see you again someday.”
He waited for one of Talia’s soldiers to get out of his way before ducking back through the tent door. I looked at Talin, my eyes wide with concern.
“Excuse me, Your Majesty,” I said, rising before executing a quick curtsy. “I’d like to speak to Roan before he leaves.”
She merely blinked, which I took as a yes, so I ran out of the tent in search of Roan. I found him preparing to mount Kosmos, his riders clustered around him.
“What are you doing?” I shouted.
Roan said something to the Galethians before striding back to me. “You should go back inside, Nor.”
“Why are you leaving? We just arrived.”
“I’ve seen enough. I won’t risk Galethian lives to serve that tyrant.”
“She’s leading an entire army. If she wasn’t strong, no one would respect her. Isn’t that what you said about Yana?”
Roan closed the last few feet between us. “The Galethians escaped Varenia so they would never again have their lives dictated by a single ruler. Everything we stand for, everything we believe in, grew out of that vow. If you want to help her defeat Ceren, I won’t stand in your way. But as far as I’m concerned, one is no better than the other.”
“How can you say that? Ceren is using human beings like puppets to do his bidding. They just tried to kill me, remember?”
His jaw clenched stubbornly. “Galeth won’t be getting involved.”
He started to turn away, but I grabbed his arm, pulling him back toward me. “You’re already involved, whether you like it or not.”
He stared down at me, his mouth twisted in a scowl. “No, I’m not.”
My face fell at the coldness in his voice. “I thought you cared about us.”
“Listen, Nor. If you or Zadie or Samiel need me, I will be there for you. All you have to do is ask.”
I searched his eyes, but they were impossible to read. “I’m asking now. Stay here. We need your help.”
“With what? Strategy? I don’t know how to plan the kind of assault Talia wants. I defend Fort Crag; that’s all.”
He was right. Talia didn’t need him. She didn’t even like him. But the thought of Roan leaving made me feel hollow inside. Despite his teasing and constant pushing, I respected him, and it scared me that he thought Talia was a tyrant. Having the Galethians present meant we weren’t alone, that we were doing the right thing. Once, I wouldn’t have needed anyone else to tell me what that was.
“I just...”
“What, Nor?” He placed a hand on my arm, his eyes searching mine. I knew in that moment that if I told him to stay because I wanted him to, he would. I’d been fooling myself to pretend that his teasing wasn’t hiding something else. But if I asked him to stay, it would be purely selfish. I valued his friendship, but I knew deep down that wasn’t what he wanted from me.
I clenched my jaw and stepped back. His hand slipped away.
“Goodbye,” he said as I turned back toward Talia’s tent.
Talin was standing in the entrance, watching us. I blinked away my tears and smiled at him. He didn’t smile back.
23
I didn’t see Talin again until that night. I had been assigned a tent with Ebb, Adriel, and Zadie, but as soon as I’d eaten and changed, I asked a soldier for directions to Talin’s tent and slipped inside to wait.
I was asleep on his pallet when a cool breeze woke me. It was dark inside, the candle having burned out hours ago. I sat up, waiting for my eyes to adjust.
“What are you doing here?” Talin asked.
I pulled the blanket up to cover myself, feeling more exposed by the coldness in his voice than the night air. “I was waiting for you.”