What was I detecting in his voice? I didn’t believe Ceren had ever had real feelings for me, though he had tried to woo me in his own sick way. He had even offered me his mother’s crown, made from the blood coral and pearls that came from Princess Ilara’s body. If I had sacrificed myself then, I may have prevented everything that had come since, though I couldn’t possibly have anticipated this.
We resumed walking and finally reached my old chambers. I didn’t even have Ebb for companionship. As if sensing my thoughts, he turned toward a young woman standing so silently in the shadows I hadn’t even noticed her. The bloodstone at her throat lit up as she stepped forward.
“Your lady’s maid. She’s under my command, which means anything you say or do will be relayed back to me.”
Ah, so he didn’t really trust me. “You mean she’ll be spying on me.”
He ignored the remark. “Is there anything else I can get you?”
“I just want to go to sleep.” I entered the chamber without saying goodbye and closed the door behind me. The room looked exactly the same as I’d left it. I walked to the carved wooden wardrobe and opened the door.
“It’s like I never left,” I murmured as I ran my fingers over the familiar fabrics. Why hadn’t he destroyed all of these?
I reminded myself that it felt like ages had passed, given everything I’d been through since leaving. But for Ceren, it had only been a few weeks, and almost every one of them had been spent in this castle.
There was a soft knock at the door, and the maid entered a moment later. She was smiling, but it was so unnatural I would have preferred it if she had no expression.
“King Ceren has requested that you join him for dinner in an hour,” she stated. “Can I get you anything in the meantime?”
“Requested?”
She stared at me, still smiling that awful smile.
“Never mind. I’d like a bath, if possible.” If I had to be at New Castle, I was at least going to take advantage of the one thing I had enjoyed here.
The maid nodded and departed, leaving me alone with my thoughts. At least the Varenians were free. If Talia decided to attack New Castle, they would not be caught in the cross fire. Unless, of course, she decided to use them as soldiers. But I told myself Talin would never allow it, not after what I’d risked to get them free.
I was also in the closest proximity to Ceren I’d been since I learned about the blood bond. If I could get into his study, I could take some of his blood. Then, once I’d found a way to escape New Castle with Father, Adriel could finally perform the spell. I just had to be one step ahead of Ceren at all times. And so far, I’d proven terrible at that.
After my bath, the maid tied me into my corset and helped me dress in a dark purple gown. I smoothed my hands over the fabric, marveling at the fine embroidery and lacework. So much trouble for a gown I would wear once.
I left my hair down and refused the jewelry the maid offered, wondering how I was ever going to get through this meal. The nobles didn’t like me before; surely, they would despise me even more now that they thought I’d tried to kill their king. The only allies I’d had were Ebb and Lady Melina. While Ebb was safe, Lady Melina had died to help me get free of this place. I felt tears pricking the backs of my eyes and pressed my hands against them to staunch the flow.
I couldn’t waste time on self-pity. Ceren had a war campaign to run, which meant that no matter how much of my blood he drank, he couldn’t focus all his attention on me. I already knew where his study was and where Father was being held. Ebb had managed to escape via a cart full of linens. Perhaps the same plan could work for us.
When I reached the dining hall, I was surprised to find it deserted apart from Ceren and a few silent servants.
“Where are the others?” I asked as I took my old seat, to his left. He wore his imposing uniform of black doublet and trousers, but I noticed his posture wasn’t quite as straight as it had been. Was there any chance I could kill him before he drank my blood, while he was still weak?
“I thought it would be best to dine alone tonight to ease you back into life at New Castle.”
A servant filled my goblet with wine, which I knew better than to drink. I needed my wits about me at all times.
Ceren twisted his goblet in his long fingers and studied me. “You’ve changed. You’re not as nervous as you once were.”
“Did you prefer me before, when I found everything new and confusing and you could frighten me with a single glance?”
In lieu of a response, he waved a man forward to serve us dinner. I was relieved there was no liver tonight, just some kind of poultry and vegetables. Perhaps he had finally scaled back on his lavish meals, in preparation for the impending war.
“You’ve changed, too,” I said. “My blood has made you healthy and strong, just like you wanted.” I took a delicate bite of food and smiled. “It’s a shame that the bloodstones make you so weak.”
“Do I seem weak to you, Nor? I controlled every Varenian on that field with my mind. I could have ordered them all to kill themselves, had I wanted to. I am the most powerful man in the kingdom. In the world.”
“Power seized by force isn’t true power.” I thought of Yana, whose power came from respect. Of Roan, whose soldiers were loyal because he led by example. Of the elders, who we relied on for their wisdom and experience. “What happens when you no longer have control over all of those people? What happens when they realize what you’ve taken from them? One night you’re going to wake up with a blade at your throat and no one around to protect you.”
He remained impassive. “Has seeing my memories not changed your opinion of me at all?”
“I always felt sorry for the way Talia treated you as a child, Ceren. Even before I saw those memories. But it doesn’t excuse the things you have done as an adult. A lot of children are treated horribly, and they all don’t grow up to be murderers.”
His expression hardened. “If you’re finished, perhaps we can go to my study.”
Every muscle in my body tightened at the idea of him bleeding me again. The last time, he had done it by force, cutting into my flesh over and over until I passed out from blood loss.
“I’m not going to cut you. Not yet. I want to discuss this blood bond, as you call it. And I’d prefer to do that somewhere private.”
I glanced at the servants still milling about in the shadows. Didn’t he trust the people he’d surrounded himself with? If most of them were wearing bloodstones, as he’d said before, he should have no reason not to.
I rose stiffly from my chair and followed him down one of the long corridors. We passed a noblewoman who seemed to recognize me from before. She gasped and elbowed the lady next to her, but I didn’t spare them a glance. None of these people had done anything to help me or Lady Melina. They had all stood by and watched as she was murdered and I was imprisoned, silent and judging. Then they had stayed at New Castle, knowing what their king was capable of.