And any chance at all of a future togeth-
Damn it. She needed to stop doing that. Needed to stop imagining that there was even the slightest chance that he could fall for her.
Still, even if he was never going to fall in love with her, she couldn't have sex with him again if there wasn't a chance at their being friends after everything was over.
After this craziness had finally come to its inevitable end.
Her heart felt like someone had been kicking it with steel-toed boots as she said, “You don't like me.”
She read his surprise at her abrupt statement loud and clear. It wasn't what she planned to say, but now that she had, she couldn't hide from the truth of it.
“I like fucking you.”
Oh. Wow.
That hurt.
But what had she expected him to say? Oh no, Janica. I absolutely adore you.
As if.
“I loved fucking you too,” she said softly, working like hell to mask her careening emotions. But she couldn't. She could feel her cheeks falling, her mouth starting to shake despite her attempts at control. “So that's all this is?”
A deep, dark anguish flashed across his face. And then, instead of answering, instead of breaking her heart the rest of the way, instead of grinding it completely to dust, he moved closer, caressed her cheek with one of his large hands.
She blinked up at Luke, knowing she should leave, telling herself to leave, but then his mouth was on hers and it was such a gentle, sweet kiss that she simply melted into him.
Thank god. She didn't have to leave him.
* * *
He wasn't alone.
Janica had dropped everything in her life to come here to be with him. She'd given her body to him, then given him her heart too, and even after he'd walked out on her the night before without one kind word, she'd gone to the hospital to find him anyway.
He didn't need a flashing billboard to see that she how much she cared about him.
And in return, he was hurting her. Over and over again, he was lashing out at her, making sure to let her know that she was nothing but a fuck toy to him.
When the truth was she was anything but.
When the truth was that he didn't want her to go.
When the truth was that even after only ten minutes together in the cabin, he knew if Janica left, he'd feel the echoes of her everywhere he looked for the next four weeks.
Maybe even for the rest of his life.
The power of these realizations had him reeling.
Her mouth was soft beneath his. Last night their kisses had been rough, caught up in the delirium of their passion. Now, he had the time to learn the curve of her lips, the sweep of her tongue, to find out how much she liked it when he dipped into the corners where her lips met.
Barely pulling back from her mouth, he whispered, “I like you. So much more than you know.”
Now she was the one kissing him. “Then take me back to bed, Luke.”
He wasn't going to lie, he had enjoyed playing out the dominant-submissive fantasy last night, but those roles weren't who either of them really were. If he could have, he would have told her how sorry he was, but his emotions were still too tangled up, too mangled for the words to come.
He'd have to tell her another way.
He lightly stroked her short, silky hair. “You're beautiful.”
“So are you.”
The sun was streaming into the cabin's windows as they held each other, and then, she was stepping out of his arms, reaching around to undo the clasp at the back of her bra.
It fell to the ground and he finally got to see her beautiful breasts in the light of day.
He was temporarily paralyzed by his desire for her. A small smile playing on her lips, she hooked her thumbs into the sides of her panties and slowly shimmied them off.
“I'm naked now. Just the way you said you wanted me.”
Was her playful spin on his angry, hard words her way of saying she forgave him? Please, he would give anything to have her forgive him. To have her know that he didn't mean any of the harsh things he'd said. That he wished he could take back all of the harsh things he'd done.
“Now it's your turn,” she said, breaking into his thoughts.
As if it were the most normal thing in the world, she sat down on the couch and crossed her legs, completely naked as she looked up at him and waited for him to comply with her request.
He'd never been with a woman who was so comfortable with her body. With herself, period.
His cock, already hard from their kiss and her striptease, twitched in response to her command. He moved to undo his belt, but she shook her head.
“Shirt off first.”
His entire adult life, Luke had been in control. Whatever he needed, whatever he wanted at the hospital, all he had to do was ask and it was delivered to him. For the first time, it wasn't his show.
Sure, he was bigger, stronger than Janica. He could take over in an instant, pick up her small body and pull her over him. But that wasn't what this was about.
Right now, he needed to not only give her back what he'd taken from her the night before when he'd been completely out of control, he needed to give her the most important thing of all.
His trust.
The question was, could he do it?
Chapter Eleven
There was so much going on in that head of his.
Too much.
“Sex doesn't have to be this complicated, Luke,” she said softly.
Wanting to help him, she reached for his hands and pulled him down to his knees in front of her. Wrapping her legs around his waist, she pressed her lips to his forehead, to his cheekbones, to his chin.
Saving the best for last, she pressed her lips to his mouth. All the while, emotion was building up from way down deep in her belly, from the center of her heart, and even though she knew what was coming, even though she knew she shouldn't say it again, she simply couldn't stop herself.
“I love you.”
She could feel his breath against her lips, his heart beating against her chest. And then he was kissing her again, and she was pulling off his T-shirt and unzipping his jeans.
His erection was hard and thick and hot against her naked skin.
“Take me, Luke.”
In one slow thrust he sheathed himself inside her and she gasped at how full, how complete she felt. Her pussy lips were still sensitive from their lovemaking the night before, but instead of pain she felt the deepest pleasure she'd ever known. Without even a thin layer of latex between them, she felt truly connected to him.