Luke didn't want to love her. And she couldn't do a damn thing to change that.

Except for stupidly, foolishly hoping that maybe, at some point in the future, he'd look at her and see everything he wasn't seeing now. Because didn't he see that loving her despite himself wasn't enough?

“I've got a lot of work to catch up on,” she said by way of a get-the-hell-out.

But Travis didn't get the picture. Or, maybe he did, but he didn't give a fuck what she wanted him to do.

“We all know you're in love with him.”

She met Luke's twin's gaze with clear, direct eyes.

“I am. So ridiculously, pathetically in love with your brother that I can hardly believe it.” A muscle in Travis's jaw twitched in what she figured was shock and she continued with, “And trust me, he knows it.”

After all, she'd only told him about a hundred times.

Clearly caught off guard by her sensationally straightforward admission, Travis stopped, stared, then sat down hard on her leather couch.

“Fuck.”

It was, quite possibly, the biggest moment of solidarity she'd ever had with her sister's husband.

“I feel exactly the same way.”

He shook his head, confusion taking over his face. “So then why won't you take him back?”

It was easiest to say, “Because I'm a bitch.”

His eyes softened. Just slightly. “You're not a bitch.”

“But it would be easier if you thought that was the reason.”

Not just for him, but for her too.

“You're right,” Travis agreed. “It probably would be. But I'd rather hear the real reason.”

She thought about it for a second. “I really don't want to have to say the words aloud to you, Travis.”

He nodded and she thought that maybe, just maybe, he was going to go now and she would be left alone in her abject misery. Instead, he said, “All my life, until Lily came along, Luke was the most important person in the world to me. He was the only one who really knew me. Who saw through all my bullshit. But the thing is, I don't think I've ever been able to see all the way through his. I've seen him work himself into the ground, I've seen him date women who are so cold you wouldn't want to touch them with your tongue because it would stick. But I've never seen him like this, Janica. Help me help him.”

They were more words than she'd ever heard strung together out of her brother-in-law's mouth. Now it was her turn to be stunned.

“What makes you think I know how to help him?”

“I can't believe I'm about to say this,” he said, looking well and truly appalled, “but on the way over here I started to see things differently. Different enough that I actually think you're perfect for him. You're not one of those frigid bitches he's always been with. He knew he wouldn't fall in love with any of them. But you...well, clearly he didn't know what the fuck to do about you. Which is why I'm thinking that you might be the only person on the planet who can get through to him. The only person who can actually reach him.” He shook his head. “I may need to go have my head examined after this.”

“Good idea,” she said, working like hell to fight back the rush of moisture that was building behind her eyeballs at her brother-in-law's unexpected words.

But his eyes saw too much, damn him.

Damn all the Carson men.

“You haven't told me yet why you won't take him back. Especially when I can see how badly you want to.”

She couldn't sit behind her computer anymore. Her legs were itching to move, to run—and keep running. Away from everything that was hurting so bad. But even as she jumped up out of her chair, she realized not only did she have nowhere to go, but that even if she tried, she'd never be able to hide out, she'd never be able to steal away from her feelings.

“I just can't.”

“Have you heard a word I've said?”

“And then some,” she muttered. “Look, it doesn't matter what you think or what Lily thinks or even what I think.”

She shook her head, hated the way she felt, like she was going to break apart, literally shatter from the inside out.

“It just doesn't matter.”

“It does, Janica.” He paused. “He told you he loves you. In front of all of us.”

Her nostrils flared. She swallowed. Fought for whatever last shred of composure she retained.

“That was really big of him to do it like that. The grand gesture. You must have been really impressed.”

“Fuck being impressed, Janica. The point is he did it. He said it. He feels it. So why the hell are we sitting here having this discussion? Why are you sitting here arguing with me instead of making his life a living hell?”

No.

This was where she had to draw the line. She wouldn't sit here and explain how it had felt to hear Luke say, “I love you,” while everything else about him said he'd failed. While every piece of him clearly screamed that he couldn't believe he'd actually gone and fallen for the notorious, the slutty, the wild-child Janica Ellis.

“I want to be with—” She cut herself off and started over. “I need to be with someone who actually wants to love me.” She felt the edges of her mouth start to wobble and sat back down behind her desk, putting her fingers on her keyboard in a desperate attempt to steady herself.

“Not just someone who can't help himself.”

* * *

Lily lay in the curve of Travis's arms later that night. After putting the kids to sleep, he'd made the sweetest, most passionate love to her. Every touch, every kiss, every stroke of his body inside of hers had been pure emotion.

Pure love.

On the verge of falling into a deep, sated sleep, she heard him say, “You haven't asked me about my conversation with your sister yet.”

She shifted out of his arms and sat up in the bed, moonlight streaming over her lush curves. “You didn't seem ready to talk about it yet.”

His eyes drank her in, roving from her face to her breasts and stomach and hips, then back up to her eyes. “My God, sweetheart, you're so damned beautiful.”

She reached for his hand and threaded her fingers through his, knowing she'd never get tired of hearing him say those words. Even though she saw the truth of it in his eyes every time he looked at her.