Fear hit her, then. What was wrong with her?

She tried to fight the pain, tried to surface all the way from her sleepiness. And then she felt his lips on her forehead, heard him softly say, "Shh," and his voice, his presence, was just what she needed to calm her down and lull her back to sleep.

* * *

“So thirsty.”

She felt the rim of a plastic cup being held to her mouth and as she tried to gulp it down, she heard Luke say, “Not too much, sweetheart. Not yet.”

She vividly remembered him saying nearly the exact thing when they were in bed together, when she was desperate to take all of him inside of her as fast as she could. But while she was presently in bed, they obviously weren't making love.

Everything hurt, especially her abdomen where it felt like someone had cut into her with a saw. Suddenly, it all came back to her, a series of flashbacks. The plane. The taxi. The truck hitting them. And then nothing but pain and darkness.

And a bone deep longing to be back in Luke's arms, safe and warm.

Her eyelids felt heavy, but she forced herself to open them anyway.

Just as she'd intended, she'd made it to Luke's hospital. Just not the way she'd planned to do it.

“I love you, sweetheart.”

His sweet words had her shifting her somewhat blurry focus to Luke's face. Which was when she finally saw the tears streaking down his face.

“I love you,” he said again, his voice thick with emotion.

And even in her fog, even as pain moved through her, she could see that everything was different.

This love Luke spoke of wasn't the same kind of love that he'd felt before.

“I love you too,” she said, but the act of speaking had her grimacing.

“Just breathe, sweetheart. I'm not going to leave you. I promise.”

And even when a nurse came in and gave her more pain medication, Luke not only never let go of her hand the whole time...he didn't try to hide his tears.

Or his love for her.

She saw it, saw what she'd wanted more than anything, but even as the power of his love for her settled in, she suddenly realized that she couldn't believe it.

Now it was her turn to ask, “How can you?”

“How can I what, sweetheart?”

“How can you love me?”

She was surprised to see a small smile on his lips, his hand brushing a wisp of hair off of her forehead. “I love you because you're good.”

She knew what he was doing. He was repeating all of the things she'd said to him back to her. But she knew it wasn't enough.

“You know I'm not good, Luke,” she made herself say through the fog of pain, of exhaustion.

“Yes, you are.”

“But I wasn't.”

“I loved you even then.” His eyes sparkled with something slightly wicked. “Even when you were bad. I wanted to be bad with you.”

She didn't know what to say to that and in her silence he hit her with, “I love you because you're honest.”

But even though she never lied, she had to say, “There are things you don't know about me. About my past. About what I've done. Things you won't like.”

Her words all came out in a rush and she only stopped when he put a finger to her lips. “I love who you are now. And I promise you, sweetheart, I love who you used to be too.”

“You couldn't.”

“I do, sweetheart. I love you for everything you do and everything you are. No exceptions. Past, present, and future.”

She'd never thought to hear him say this to her. Never dreamed he could accept her all the way through. And then she realized why that was.

“I never thought I'd find someone to love me for who I really am,” she said, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“You don't have any idea how loveable you are, do you?”

She shook her head and pain shot through her. But that was wasn't why she was wincing. It was because he was right. In her heart of hearts, she hadn't thought anyone could ever really love her. Because she hadn't truly loved – or accepted – herself.

“No,” she whispered.

“I love you because you're kind. I love you because you're sweet. I love the softness you keep hidden from everyone but me. I love you because you're the most loving person I've ever known.”

He shifted his face so close to hers that his breath feathered across her lips.

“I love you because you're you.”

And then, as he gently kissed her, Janica felt a true, deep warmth spread through her, starting deep in her heart.

Finally, amazingly, she'd found real love.

Chapter Twenty-five

Later, when she woke up in the dark, Luke was still holding her hand. His chair was pulled up to the side of her bed and his head was resting on the mattress in what had to be a distinctly uncomfortable position.

Even though she still felt like crap on the outside, on the inside, in the place where her heart had started to shrivel up and die, she felt great.

Amazing.

Fantastic.

Because she knew, without even a shadow of a doubt, just how much Luke loved her.

Sensing that she was awake, Luke lifted his head and smiled at her. He looked gorgeously rumpled, a world apart from the tightly wound doctor he'd been for so long.

Her love for him had been the last thing she'd thought of before everything went black after the crash.

“You saved me.”

His smiled fell away, but he didn't let go of her hand. “No, I didn't. I didn't want anyone else to touch you, I didn't trust anyone else to save you, but I couldn't operate. Not when cutting into you would have been like slicing open my own heart.”

Her insides warmed, her heart beating even stronger, steadier with every word he spoke.

“You stepped aside?”

“I'm sorry, Janica. I should have been stronger. I should have been the one—”

She didn't have the strength to throw her arms around him. Instead, she squeezed his hand and said, “Don't you see? You did save me. Because you made sure I got exactly what I needed.” She paused as a tear slipped down her cheek. “You made sure I would be here to keep loving you, Luke. Forever.”

* * *

He knew how weak she was, how tired, and yet he had to kiss her again. Gently, he pressed his lips to hers, only a little surprised when she kissed him right back much harder.