“Let him love you, Taryn. That's all he wants. I know this can be stressful, having such a public relationship, but you need to stay true to each other and you will work through all of your fears. The two of you will figure it out. And don’t be afraid to talk to him about anything either. You have to be open with each other if you want any marriage to survive.” Ellen touched my cheek.

“I know. I am trying. I love him with all my heart.”

“Oh, Sweetie. It will all work out. You’ll see!” She gave me a very comforting hug. “Ryan will make sure of it.”

“Thank you,” I breathed in her ear, hugging his mother like she was my own.

“You’re welcome! Anytime you need to talk I’ll always be here for you.”

Although it was all easier said than done to confront these feelings, I felt at ease with her. My connection with her made me miss my mother even more.

“I guess Ryan will still be here when it’s his birthday,” Ellen said. “I better find him something then while we are here.”

“I was thinking about having a small birthday party for him at my pub. Do you think some of his old friends from home might be interested in coming to Rhode Island?”

“You could always ask. He’s lost touch with a lot of his friends. He always checks in with Matt and Scott when he comes home. Other than that, I really don’t know who his friends are now. You’ll have to get their phone numbers from Ryan.”

I thought about how I would do that. I certainly wouldn’t ask him for their numbers; that would ruin any possible surprise. I’d have to be sneaky.

“I thought he was coming home for Thanksgiving or did that change?” Ellen asked.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know. He didn’t say anything to me.” My words cast other thoughts through my head.

“That’s when he always gets together with the boys. Every year they drive to Potter County to go deer hunting.”

I thought about last Thanksgiving and feeling like an oddball at Pete and Tammy’s table. I was glad that they convinced me to come over; I had thanked them but declined several times until Thomas ditched me at the last minute.

Thanksgiving was always a big production for my mother. She’d make a huge turkey and all the fixings. All the relatives would gather and we’d eat too much.

As we grew older, my cousins had families of their own and everyone scattered in their separate directions. After my parents passed and I turned down one too many invitations, my phone stopped ringing at the holidays. Large family get-togethers seemed to be a thing of the past.

Ryan had not mentioned his Thanksgiving plans to me, but I had hoped or more accurately assumed that we would be together, especially after the conversation I just had with his mother. If not, I’d be alone once again.

Maybe Ryan would want to spend the holiday alone with his family and then the rest of his free time with his friends hunting instead?

Thanksgiving I could deal with, but another Christmas by myself… that would be painful.

Last year Thomas conveniently picked a fight with me two weeks before Christmas and we temporarily broke up. I still think it was because he didn’t want to have to buy me a gift.

My mind was wandering when my eyes noticed an old Gibson acoustic guitar tucked away in the back corner of the antique shop. I picked it up and gave it a strum; it had a great sound. I handed the cashier my bank card and five hundred and ninety dollars later, walked out with Ryan’s birthday present.

After a full day of roaming through stores, we both had our fill of shopping. I turned the car in the direction of the cabin. Ryan and his father were busy doing something by the edge of the lake.

“What are you up to?” I asked. Ryan was squatting down and had a big boning knife in his hand. He was gutting a fish.

“Look at this bass! I couldn’t throw this one back, Honey. Taryn - supper. Supper – Taryn.” He was trying to be funny with the poor fish’s dismembered head.

“We should cook that outside on the fire pit.” I pointed in the direction. “Good job, man!” I said with my playful cavewoman voice. I gave him a congratulatory squeeze on his shoulders.

“Man catch fish for woman!” he stated proudly.

I started a fire in the large, circular fire pit and sat down in one of the wooden chairs that surrounded it. The sun was starting to set and the fire felt nice and warm on my hands. Ryan put the metal grate over the hot coals and soon his catch of the day was cooking.

“Taryn, how much property does your family own here?” Ryan asked.