“Can you stand or do you want me to run a bath?” Marie asked, pushing back the shower curtain.

I stepped into the shower, noticing that the bruises on my stomach were almost completely gone but I had a fresh black and blue mark on my thigh. I couldn’t remember how I got that one.

The hot water actually felt good on my skin although it stung a little on my face where I had been rubbing my eyes.

I used my right hand to push the water through my hair, hoping that the stream would somehow reach my memories and cleanse them of the nightmares.

A few long strands of hair dislodged and tangled around my fingers like a spider web. Oh how I wished they would have been strong enough to pull the misery from my mind before breaking away from my head!

Marie handed my toothbrush to me. “Brush your teeth while you’re in there.”

I let the water stream into my dry mouth, swallowing some to quench my thirst. I was feeling weak and tired and utterly miserable, so I leaned up on the wall.

Will I ever find the strength to move on?

The shrill of a cell phone ringing startled me. I knew it wasn’t mine. My cell phone was probably in pieces on a Florida highway by now.

“We found her,” I heard Marie whisper. “She’s in the apartment…” Her voice trailed off.

I knew it was Ryan she was talking to. I wondered why he even cared. Maybe he was feeling guilty for crushing me? I had no pity for him. He could wallow in his guilt for the rest of his life for all I cared.

The shower curtain pulled back slightly and Marie popped her head into the opening.

“You’re not going to get clean that way!” She frowned at me. “It helps if you actually let the water touch your body.”

She pushed her sleeves up on her arms and turned the water diverter to shut the overhead shower off.

“Here, let me help. Sit down in the tub.” Marie pushed the drain plug down and started to fill the tub with hot water. She swirled her hand around in the water by my feet.

“Sandy said that she’s having a bunch of specials down at the salon this month. We should go get our nails done. She has this new foot soak stuff; she says it smells like peppermint…”

“Who were you just talking to on the phone?” I interrupted her.

She stopped washing my shoulders and put more soap on the sponge. Her lips pursed together and I knew she didn’t want to say his name.

“I wasn’t talking to anyone,” she lied. “Here, wash your body.” She squeezed some shampoo onto my hair.

“Sandy also told me about this new shampoo she got that has seaweed and plankton mixed in it, but I told her that it didn’t sound very appealing. I mean have you smelled the ocean lately? Who wants to wash their hair with crap floating in the o…”

“Marie, I heard you talking to someone,” I interrupted again. “Please don’t lie.”

Her fingers froze for a moment in my hair.

“I love you, Taryn. We all love you. You are the closest thing I have to a sister in this world. And I know you are in pain right now, so I want to help you get past it so you can see things clearly.” I felt her fingernails scrub my scalp.

“You know exactly who I was just talking to. I know you’re upset, so I’m not going to say his name out loud, but he is the reason we knew to look for you,” Marie admitted. “He called me. He called Pete. He begged us to get through to you when you wouldn’t answer his calls. None of us even knew you came home.”

“I don’t want you talking to him anymore,” I commanded hoarsely.

“Let’s just finish getting you clean and then we’re going to get some food into your body. You need to re-examine the situation with a fresh attitude, okay sweetie?” Marie dismissed my order.

“Promise me you won’t talk to him anymore. It’s over,” I whispered.

“I can’t do that,” she muttered.

“Promise me!” I begged, looking her in the eyes.

“No!” Marie said with conviction. “I will not promise that!”

“Then choose – right now – him or me!” I demanded with new tears in my eyes.

“Tammy? Can you get me a big plastic cup from the kitchen please?” Marie yelled over her shoulder. “Wash your stinky pits. You smell like shit,”

she fired back, rummaging through the cabinet below the sink. “Here’s a new razor.”

I took it from her hand and threw it at the garbage can. “Those aren’t mine. You can throw all of those blue ones in the garbage.”