“On what?”
“If you give me a chance to have a next time,” I sighed, fearing his answer. If he wanted an out, here was his opportunity.
Ryan huffed in my ear. “I don’t know,” he murmured. “Tar, I’m an actor. This is what I do. If you can’t trust me…”
I closed my eyes as new tears burned my face.
“What about you?” I asked, my tears clogged my throat. “Are you going to think I’m having affairs with other men when you’re not around? You think I arranged to run to the arms of that asshole? I still don’t remember how I ended up at the airport, Ryan.”
I wiped the back of my hand across my eyes.
“I’ve seen the pictures of me in the terminal. Do I look happy in any of them, because I thought they were an accurate representation of how completely devastated I was.”
“I know,” Ryan sighed. “I’m trying to get past the fact that it’s Kyle in these pictures, but I can see how torn up you are.”
For a moment, we were both silent. I was remembering the almost catatonic state I was in when those pictures were taken. Ryan was apparently logged on to his computer. Even still, one question remained unanswered.
“Just tell me, whose black panties were in your bedroom?” I asked, careful not to accuse him.
“Honey, I swear I don’t know. I have no idea how they got there, but I can tell you that I’m going to find out. I swear to God there is no one else.”
“You swear?” I asked for his vow.
“On my life,” he confirmed.
“Taryn, you know that I love you, but if you can’t trust me, you have to let me know now.”
“I want to trust you, I do. I love you so much!” I broke down again. “Please, please… just for one moment… put yourself in my shoes.”
He breathed heavily. “Why do relationships have to be so damn complicated?”
I thought about every wonderful moment we spent together and the times when things became difficult.
“Our relationship only got complicated when we allowed other influences to affect it. Things were perfect when we stayed hidden away in our apartment.”
Ryan laughed lightly. I hoped he was picturing holding me just as much as I was picturing being in his arms.
“So where do we go from here?” he asked.
I remembered saying the same line to him once earlier in our relationship when we were at a crossroads. There was only one reply that fit.
“We give it a chance,” I whispered his line back to him.
Chapter 35 – Answers
“My arm feels strange,” I muttered, rubbing my hand over the skin on my left arm for the first time in six weeks. “It looks smaller too.” I pulled my shirt and coat sleeve back down to stifle the chill I got from the cold weather.
Marie took her eyes off the road for a second and smiled at me.
After the nightmarish last few days, I was finally able to start seeing things clearly.
“So tell me – how did you know where Ryan was planning on taking me for my birthday?” I asked, wondering how she was going to avoid answering. Marie had been very careful with her answers last night, skirting around subjects and giving me cryptic replies.
She was quiet for a moment. I could tell she was thinking about what to say before she said it.
“Ryan told me so we’d cover the bar while you were gone,” she replied easily.
“Oh.” I nodded.
Her reply seemed almost rehearsed. I sensed there was more to it than what she was willing to share, so, while we were on the subject, I tossed out my next question.
“And how did you and Tammy know about the evening gowns?” I stared at her while she drove.
She sighed heavily. “Ryan asked me to verify your shoe size because he wasn’t sure if you wore a seven or a seven and a half. Considering how banged up you were, he wanted you to feel glamorous on your birthday.”
Marie nudged me in the leg. “Do you have any idea how freaking lucky you are?”
I thought about her statement. Several reasons for me to feel lucky came to mind. First and foremost was the fact that the SUV didn’t kill me.
She glanced over when I didn’t answer.
“Do you know what Gary got me for my birthday?”
“I know he took you to dinner,” I remembered. “Didn’t he buy you a bracelet?”
“That was for our wedding anniversary. No, for my birthday we went to McD’s and then he took me to CostMart so we could get a new air filter for my car. I got a cheeseburger and an air filter, Taryn!”