He slid down the bed until our eyes were at the same level. We gazed into each other’s eyes and he gently stroked my cheek; those unspoken words of the possibilities of what could happen next flowed between us.
His fingertips guided my face to his as he softly kissed my lips. His touch was so gentle it made me smile.
Slowly, sensually, our hands touched each other’s bodies. Our fingertips lightly trailed over each other’s skin, taking the liberty to explore uncharted territory.
His hand pressed in the small of my back as he pulled me closer; his kisses completely aroused my body. Softly he bit and sucked my bottom lip into his mouth and I moaned from the pleasure.
I ran my hand down his back, pressing my fingertips into his skin to massage his muscular frame. I had wanted to feel his body for so long now and I was finally getting my wish.
His hand gripped my hip in response, sending another shockwave through my veins. I could feel his fingers tense and press into my hipbone as I ran my tongue over his luscious lips.
My fingers trailed down his chest to his stomach; his body quivered lightly under my touch. I could feel that he was completely aroused.
I was getting too carried away in the moment; a few minutes more of this and there’d be no turning back. Doubt, fear, crept into my thoughts, quelling ecstasy and desire. I placed my flat hand on his chest and lightly pushed back away from him; I needed a moment to catch my breath. I rubbed my eyes as the sensible person who lives in my brain spoke up.
“Taryn, I understand. I want you so bad, but I don’t want to do anything you’re not ready to do,” Ryan whispered.
I had no will left. My body craved to feel him - all of him. My thoughts wrestled with that desire as all the warning bells went off in my head.
He wrapped his fingers around my wrist and moved my hand away from my eyes. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s on your mind.”
“I’m worried.” I shrugged, trying like hell not to appear like an immature, neurotic mess. My words came out in a whisper.
“What are you worried about?”
I took a deep breath and sighed.
“I know you’re not…” I murmured, stopping myself. “I don’t do casual very well. Sex for me involves emotions and in reality… you’re not going to be here for much longer.” The words were difficult to say.
“Look at me. Please... look in my eyes,” he softly pleaded.
I turned to gaze back at him. His eyes were captivating.
“If you haven’t noticed, I’m pretty crazy about you. You’re all I think about,” he said as he brushed his fingertips on my cheek. “You’re not the only one making an emotional investment here.
“I know why you’re worried, Taryn.” He took in a deep breath. “I’m not here to use you or to hurt you. You have to understand - it’s not easy for me to have any kind of relationship, despite what people think. It’s difficult for me to keep a private life or to trust anyone. One of my old girlfriends sold our relationship to the tabloids for money.”
He looked away, wincing from the unpleasant memory. “After that, well, let’s just say it’s been a while since I’ve been this emotionally close with anyone.”
He looked back into my eyes. “Believe me when I say that random one-nighters are not my style. That’s all I need, for stuff like that to be in print too.”“
I guess we’re two kindred spirits then,” I said.
“What do you mean?” He looked at me for an explanation.
“You don’t trust women and I don’t trust men.”
“Huh,” he breathed out. “So why don’t you trust men?”
“I was… involved with someone a few months ago, too,” I said hesitantly. I didn’t want to accidentally say the scary word “engaged” out loud fearing that Ryan might run if he thinks I only have marriage on the brain.
“Let’s just say that one woman wasn’t enough for him.” I pursed my lips from the thought. “Anyway, sounds like we’ve both had our fair share of pain to deal with.”
“Yeah, but the difference is that your heartaches aren’t front-page news printed on the cover of millions of magazines,” he huffed as he ran his fingers back through his hair. “And you don’t need a Publicist when you break up with someone.”
I sat up on my elbow and rested my hand on his chest. “Ryan, I care about you, a lot. I guess that’s why I’m hesitant to jump into this – because we both need to be able to trust each other. But I promise, no matter what happens between us, I will never, ever, betray you.”