I burst out of the front doors and into the absolute chill of the night. The front of building was deserted; only a taxi cab and a lone car were slowly cruising down the street. The snow was now at least two inches high and falling steadily. It was cold as hell but, for the moment, my drunk skin didn’t feel it.
I looked around, up and down the streets that branched off. I didn’t see anyone at all. It was like all of Seattle had shut down due to the miniscule amounts of white stuff.
A movement out of the corner of my eye made me turn to my left. At the corner of the brick building, a lone puff of smoke emerged.
I walked carefully, trying not to slip on the wet, icy ground beneath me, and poked my head around the corner.
Dex was there, leaning against the wall, watching the empty street in front of him and smoking a cigarette.
“Dex?” I said gently, afraid to startle him.
He looked over at me and gave me a quick, sheepish smile after he noticed me looking at the cigarette in his hand. “Sorry,” he mumbled, taking another drag. “I had to. I bummed it off a…bum.”
I gingerly made my way over to him, keeping one hand on the brick wall for support, and stopped right up next to him. I peered at his face, looking for signs of pain.
He glanced at me quickly, frowned and looked away. “What is it?”
“Are you OK?” I asked. I placed my hand on the crook of his elbow.
He looked down at my hand, bit his lip for a few seconds, then let out a large exhalation of smoke that floated up into the falling snowflakes. They had started to gather in his hair.
I waited patiently for his answer, even though I knew he wasn’t OK. I tightened my grip around his arm, trying not to feel the snow that was gathering on my bare shoulders and legs.
“Where did Jenn and Bradley go?” I asked quietly.
He shrugged. “To fuck somewhere, I’m sure.”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
He smiled at me. There was sadness on his brow but an odd little twinkle in his eye. It was a strange combination.
“I’m sorry too,” he said. “Hope you realize I really need this smoke.”
“I wouldn’t blame you if you started sticking it straight into your veins.”
“Now that’s a good idea,” he said. He smiled but it quickly faded and he stared down at his dress shoes as they stood out against the white snow. He eyed me quickly. “You must be freezing.”
“I’m not,” I said, hoping my teeth wouldn’t start chattering on cue.
He rolled his eyes and smirked. He stuck the cigarette in his mouth, hanging it loosely from his lips, took off his suit jacket and placed it around my shoulders. He pulled me in closer to him at the same time. I instinctively put my nose to the collar and breathed in.
“You’re smelling it,” he observed, sounding amused.
“I like the smell of you,” I admitted shyly. I felt like we were rounding some home stretch and the finish line was in sight. It didn’t matter anymore what I said. I was sending my pride and ego packing.
He swallowed hard and took in another drag of his smoke, not breaking our eye contact. “Is that all you like about me?”
I took in a deep breath and said, “I just…like you. I like everything about you.”
And with that, I could almost hear dramatic drumming in my head, the swirls of disorienting guitar, like the turbulent ending of “Something.” I could feel it pulsing through my veins, I could feel it in the snow-filled air around us, I could feel it vibrating off of both our bodies, like we were both attached to some electrical source, some furnace, and the switches were all being flipped on. The air in my lungs was becoming heavier and catching on the way out.
Dex came off of the wall and turned toward me. The energy between us intensified. He took the cigarette and flicked it out onto the road just as another cab cruised by, slowing down slightly as it drove past us. I paid no attention. The only thing I saw was Dex’s face and his eyes as they gazed down at me more rapturously than before.
He took his hand and gently brushed the snow off my hair, tucking stray pieces between my ears. He let his hand drift down to the edge of my jaw and held it there, a surge of heat against the cold.
“You’ve always been there for me, Perry,” he said with what sounded like velvet rocks in his voice. “Even from the very beginning, even if you never meant to be, even when you shouldn’t have been. You’re the light in all this madness. You’re my light. I should have been with you...” The thought hit him as his face crumpled in amazement. “Oh God, why am I not with you?”
“Because you’re an idiot,” I said.
And then I kissed him.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
I don’t know what possessed me. I’d later play victim to ending the tension, for having to do the inevitable. For what had to happen. What I had wanted to happen for quite a long time.
But whatever the reason, I leaned into Dex. I grabbed the sides of his head with both of my hands, his hair slightly slippery from the snow and hair gel, and I pulled his face down to mine. I placed my lips flush on his and kissed him sweetly at first, not caring if he returned the favor. Then, when his lips parted slightly, I teased the inside of them lightly with my tongue. He let out a breath of hot air, maybe from surprise, and I pulled back. I kept my hands on his head and tried to catch my own breath before I got carried away.
We looked at each other, both of us a bit in shock, him more than I. There was only a split-second pause before Dex grunted, “Oh, fuck it.”
Then I was in his arms. He lifted me up and twirled me around on the spot, placing me up against the cold brick wall. I wrapped my legs around him, hooking them at the ankles behind his ass. I was vaguely aware that I wasn’t wearing underwear.
He kept one hand around my waist, propping me up, while the other was working its way to the side of my head, disappearing into my hair. He was breathing heavily and staring at my lips. The look in his eyes was utter madness.
“The things I want to do to you…” he whispered roughly.
I took my hand behind his head and brought his ear down to my mouth.
“Do them,” I breathed back, and licked the rim of his ear. He let out a small moan and suddenly his lips were on mine. The sweet business was out of the way. His tongue was rampant and skilled and darted feverishly in and out of my mouth, leaving me panting and needing more, as if I couldn’t be sustained by him. Then his mouth met my neck and started doing the same there, causing the heat to flare up between my legs. I knew we were in public, making out on the side of the road, but I was so close to just hiking my dress up and undoing the fly on his pants.
One of his hands made its way underneath my ass and started feeling up the back of my bare thighs, slowly searching underneath. There was a slight hesitation when he realized I was going commando and another small moan came out from his lips.
“Perry!”
Rebecca’s English accent came through the air, knocking a scary sense of reality into me.
“Perry?” it called again.
Dex and I took our mouths off each other and stared into each other’s eyes, bewildered yet enraptured by what had just happened. I quickly unhooked my legs and he placed me gently on the ground, just as Rebecca came around the corner.
She stopped and looked at us, taken aback and trying not to smile. Though we weren’t in an embrace, Dex had both arms on either side of me, propped up against the wall. Both of us looked disheveled with messy hair, and Dex’s white shirt was half-pulled out from where I must have grabbed at it.
We both stared at her, chests heaving, breathing hard, our breath meeting together in the frigid air.
“Uh, we’re just getting the cab now for us,” she said slowly. “Perry, you want to come and get your coat and purse?”
The way she said it, it wasn’t a question but a command. She jerked her head toward the building and then walked back around the corner. I looked at Dex quickly, pulled his jacket off and handed it to him and then followed her. He reached out for my hand but let go as I kept moving.
I rounded the corner, smoothing out my dress and patting down the back of my head. I was shaking all over, a combination of the cold and the passion.
Rebecca was by the door, giving me a sympathetic look.
“Perry,” she said in a tone I didn’t like.
“Save it,” I said to her and kept walking into the building. The warm air felt heavenly on my gooseflesh.
“All right,” she conceded, following me as I walked through the restaurant. Though it wasn’t true, I felt like everyone had known what I was doing out there.
We entered the party and I saw that the festivities were still in full swing. I turned at looked at her.
“Why are we leaving already?” I asked.
“I think you and Dex need some time to be alone,” she said breezily and walked past me to the table where Emily was sitting with my coat and purse displayed.
I chewed on my lip anxiously. Was Rebecca approving of this whole thing or wasn’t she?
She handed me my coat and bag and then put on her own, the black velvet catching the party lights. She noticed the expression I was giving her.
“What? It’s true. Who knows where Jenn and Bradley went. It doesn’t matter. This just…”
“Has to happen,” I finished without thinking. We looked at each other and smiled, knowing it.
She nodded. “Come on.”
Emily got up and we walked out of the room. I gave the room one last glance, looking at Dean and Seb, who were at the bar, and at Jimmy and Fae, who were talking to the Handyman table.
“Shouldn’t we say goodbye?” I asked.
Rebecca put her arm around me and pushed me forward, gently. “You’ll see them again. For now, it’s best if we leave unnoticed. Trust me. People here talk. And I’m pretty sure Jenn and Bradley will be the talk of the network come Monday, once Fae starts flapping her mouth.”
We walked out of the restaurant and into the cold. Dex was standing in front of a cab that was running, its exhaust filling the frigid air. His back was to us and he was puffing away on another cigarette. I started to question whether a bum had given them to him or not, or if he had a secret stash for moments just like this.
At the sound of the restaurant door closing, he turned around and eyed us briefly. Then he went back to taking a drag.
I was strangely hesitant around him now. I wasn’t sure how to act. But Rebecca did. She marched right up to him, her heels handling the snow with ease, plucked the cigarette from his mouth and tossed it behind her shoulder and into the snow.
“Hey,” Dex protested.
“No excuses,” she said, wagging her finger in front of him. She reached into her giant bag and pulled out the bottle of Jager, which was still half-full. “Take this instead. It’s medicinal.”
“So are cigarettes,” Dex protested. But he took the bottle anyway.
“For what…a broken heart?” she asked. There was almost a malicious edge to her voice, as if she had been down this road with him many times before. Maybe she had been.
“Very funny,” he muttered, glaring at her.