“But earlier you said if it was meant to be…” I whined.

“I know what I said,” she snapped at me. I drew back from her, stunned at the angry tone directed at me. “But damn it Scarlett, this is going to end bad, I just know it! You’ve got to stay away from him, even if that means we stop going over there on Saturdays.”

I couldn’t believe she had yelled at me, she had never raised her voice at me before. It felt awful. “We don’t have to stop going over there,” I said quietly looking down at my hands. “Look… nothing happened. We are just going to try being friends.”

“Friends?!?” she barked. “Last Sunday, y’all were going to have no relationship whatsoever. This Sunday, you are going to be friends. Next Sunday, what? You’ll be friends that make out? How many Sundays until he’s fucking you, Scarlett?” she glared at me, but obviously wasn’t finished with her rant. “That’s all he’s interested in Scarlett, you know that right?”

“That’s not true,” I tried to argue. “It’s different.” Tears welled up in my eyes threatening to spill over in a waterfall.

“It’s different because he wants you to think it’s different. He’s a self-absorbed asshole that sleeps with anything that walks, and you are just more appealing to him because you’re an innocent little virgin that he wants to corrupt. Once he gets what he wants, he won’t have any use for you and he’ll move on to this next challenge.”

“Shut up!” I yelled back at her. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. It is different. Why can’t you just be supportive of me? You of all people should know that’s what I need.”

Evie didn’t respond. We pulled up to the dorm and we both got out of the car silently. Once inside the dorm, we each went in to our own rooms, doors closed behind us. After a shower, I felt better physically but my mind kept replaying the argument between Evie and I like a broken record. We had never been mad at each other before and I just couldn’t take another minute of it. I marched out of my room and across the living area to hers. Without knocking, I barged in to find her hidden in her pillows. She looked up at me, her cheeks stained with tears.

“Look… I’m sorry and I love you,” I began my apology. “There isn’t a person or a thing on this earth that’s worth you being mad at me.”

Suddenly Evie erupted from her pillow volcano like hot lava and lunged towards me. We held each other in a tight embrace. “I love you too” was the only thing she said and I sighed in relief. We didn’t need to talk about it anymore, our mutual forgiveness was understood.

She climbed back in her bed and grabbed her book. “I’m not sure what the deal is but it’s like every other book I’ve read since we’ve been here reminds me of you. First the whole Taking Chances thing, and now I’m reading Ruining Me and I can’t help but notice the similarities between your situation and this chick’s. Have you read it?” I shook my head no, still just thankful that we had moved past our first disagreement. I hated thinking that Evie was upset with me; I could not even fathom what my life would be like without her.

“So this girl in the book, Jay, she’s got these three guys she’s involved with… the good boy that she knows is best for her, the mysterious guy that she feels a weird connection with, and then a bad boy rocker that she uses as an escape,” Evie paused. “We both know which roles Dylan and Ash fill…”

“So all I’m missing is my bad boy rocker?” I lifted my eyebrows at her and smirked.

“That’s how I’m seeing it.” Her eyes glimmered with mischief and I could already see the wheels turning in her head. “That girl, Mina, in my PolySci class, mentioned her boyfriend was the drummer in some local rock band. I may need to find out where and when they are playing next so we can make an appearance. We may need to find you a Rhye.”

“A Rhye?” I asked confused.

“Yeah, Rhye is the rocker boy in Ruining Me,” Evie explained. “But it can be any of our rocker book boyfriends… Kellan, Shane, Jake, Trey… whoever you fancy.”

“And I’m guessing you’ll be looking forward to this BB challenge as well?” I knew damn well that tattooed rocker boys were Evie’s weakness.

“Let’s just say, I won’t be holding back for your sake,” she replied and winked at me.

When I returned to my room, I was still feeling a bit of regret over the argument. The guilt from that soon brought my thoughts to my parents, and before I could overanalyze what I was planning to do, I picked up my cell and dialed my mom.

The conversation didn’t go quite as well as I hoped. I was upset that they hadn’t even attempted to contact me in ten days, they were upset that I hadn’t called to apologize and grovel for their forgiveness. We argued, neither side listening to the other, and in the end, not much had changed with where our relationship stood, but I did agree to email at least once a week to let them know I was safe. I immediately called my brother to unload on him about how crazy our parents were, as if he didn’t already know. I also talked to Alyssa, which absolutely made my day. I couldn’t believe how big she sounded and we made plans for a princess tea party when I visited at Thanksgiving. It would be the only reason that I looked forward to going home.

Chapter 15

The next couple of months continued on in similar fashion. School was, well it was school. I wasn’t studying anything that I felt particularly passionate about, so it was hard to get too excited about it. Evie helped to keep me focused and motivated and we made it through the first round of exams with A’s and B’s. She finally went to the doctor about her headaches that had increased in occurrences and learned she needed glasses. She pulled off the hot school girl look amazingly. Dylan and I continued to text and talk during the week. He began picking me up on Saturday afternoons so that we could have a dinner date before going to the weekly get-together. Physically, he was taking things very slow, painfully slow actually. When we kissed it was passionate and occasionally he would allow his hands to caress my body, but when I would respond by pressing my body up against his and moaning in want, he would separate us and tell me that I needed to stop before he couldn’t control himself. I didn’t want him to control himself and when I told him as much, but he would just chuckle and tell me I wasn’t ready. It was actually starting to piss me off and combined with platonic, friend-only Saturday nights/ Sunday mornings I spent with Ash my sexual frustration was building to an inevitable explosion.

During the one night a week that Ash and I spent together, we had the best time talking and just hanging out. We discussed everything under the sun, played music for one another, and laughed at each other’s ridiculous jokes. The only physical contact we had was when we slept. Despite how we would fall asleep separated from one another, we would always wake up a tangled mess of limbs. Most mornings his undeniable erection would be pressed against my belly or back and it took all of my resolve to not reach out and touch him, but I refrained, scared to screw up the comfortable relationship that we had settled in to. Instead I would just sliver my body out from under his and kiss his forehead goodbye. We would text occasionally during the week, nothing consistent though, and I never texted him unless he initiated the conversation. I was determined not to be the pathetic girl that pined for the boy she couldn’t have.

Evie and I never discussed my nights spent with Ash again. I didn’t flaunt that I was doing something that she didn’t approve of in front of her face, and she refrained from chastising me for making a bad decision. I knew how she felt about the situation, she had made her concerns quite clear, but I also knew how I felt when I was around Ash. At the time, our friendly arrangement seemed to be working. I got used to seeing him make out with a different blonde each week at Jacob and Nathan’s, and I actually kind of liked that it was never the same girl. It would’ve bothered me more to know that he was interested enough in a girl to bring her around a second time. He seemed to accept the idea of me being with Dylan as well, he never said otherwise if he didn’t. Neither of us asked each other about our romantic/ sexual relationships, past or present. It was the one subject we didn’t approach. Other than discussing Dylan, I wouldn’t have had too much to talk about anyways, and I was scared that he could’ve talked continuously for days and still missed some of the girls he had been with. While at the party, we would often catch each other staring at one another, but I always broke the gaze afraid Dylan would catch us. He was already suspicious of Ash after the way he acted so possessive the first night I had met them both, and even though Dylan and I weren’t exclusive, at least not that we had discussed, I didn’t think he would appreciate the fact that each Saturday after spending the evening with him, I went straight to Ash’s bed. Even though it wasn’t like that, it probably still wouldn’t settle well.

One Thursday afternoon in early November, Evie came bouncing up to me on the sidewalk as we met after class to walk to our dorm. The weather had started cooling down and the oppressive humidity was dissipating; it had become quite pleasant and refreshing to walk around and spend time outside. She had a huge smile plastered across her face and I knew she was dying to tell me her good news.

“Tomorrow night we have a book boyfriend challenge and it’s going to be awesome,” she sang. I raised my eyebrow in interest.

“Go on, you’ve got my attention.”

“Mina invited us to go with her to listen to her boyfriend’s band play!” She squealed in excitement. “They are playing at some warehouse where there’s supposed to be like three or four different local bands performing. I am so excited!” Unable to contain her enthusiasm for a chance to meet a sexy musician, she then started doing a ridiculous dance on the sidewalk and I pretended like I was trying to escape her embarrassing antics by running away. She chased after me and tackled me to the ground. People around us stopped to make sure we were just playing as we rolled around in the grass, but we soon couldn’t move due to our uncontrollable laughter. I laughed until tears were running down my face and my side hurt and I had to walk the rest of the way hunched over on one side with black streaks marking my face.

“You know, you really need to get laid,” I told her once I caught my breath. “How long has it been now?”

“Way too fucking long,” Evie snarled her lip up in disgust. She had met a few guys around campus and at the Saturday night shindig, as we had started referring to it as, but no one that she was interested in seeing more than a couple of times. Her sexual encounters had been about the equivalent of mine since we had been in Houston, except for the fact that I slept in bed with Ash once a week. Even though there was never anything sexual going on when we did, it was rather intimate and I knew it was something that Evie missed. “But don’t you worry, I plan to take care of that problem tomorrow night.” She gave me an wicked look and continued, “I’m just going to go ahead and let you know now that unless you plan on giving up your V-card to an absolute stranger at this thing tomorrow, you have no chance in winning our contest. You may as well plan on buying me breakfast Sunday morning because I will not be denied. I am going to strain a muscle in my wrist soon from gripping my damn vibrator so tight. I went ahead and bought a multi pack of those batteries that it takes. The woman that checked me out kept looking at me like she knew what I was buying them for… of course she knew, what else takes that damn size battery? Nothing, that’s what! They might as well just call them ‘vibrator batteries’ on the package and come with a sticker that says ‘Needs a Good Fuck.’”