Suddenly I hated this dress.

***

Because I was already discontented, I decided to go visit my sister in prison.

When she saw me behind the glass, she stopped, hesitated for a minute, then looked away. I thought she might turn around and ignore me, but instead she eventually shuffled to the seat on the other side of the pane and picked up the phone.

I picked up the receiver on my side and waited for her to lift her eyes to mine before I asked, “What’s new?”

Her mouth curved slightly upward on one side. “Oh, you know, the usual: vacationing in Rio. It’s so hot there this time of year.”

I shook my head. “No it’s not. It’s their winter. It’s mild and dry.”

Jem rolled her eyes. “Can’t you ever just let shit go? Can’t I ever be imprecise?”

“Sure. But first I want you to precisely tell me what you were doing breaking into my future in-laws’ house with a gun.”

Her expression was flat, stoic. She blinked at me twice. “It doesn’t matter.”

“It matters to me.”

“Fine.” She sniffed, leaned forward. “I was there because I needed money, and I know Quinn has a shit ton of money, and I wanted you to work on him for me.”

I glared at her for a moment then employed Dan’s method of dealing with such situations. I glanced at the ceiling and took a deep breath.

It was either that or say, “Bitch, you crazy.”

I did say, “I don’t even know why I’m here.” But I wasn’t talking to her. I was talking to myself.

I supposed I should take comfort in the fact that some things never change.

“So…you’re getting married?”

My attention flickered back to her at the question. She looked strangely intense, like the answer mattered to her.

I shrugged. “Yes. I’m getting married.”

“You and Quinn, huh?”

“Yes. Me and Quinn.”

“He’s okay. Smart guy—you could do worse.” She picked at the chipped edge of Formica on the tabletop. “If he hurts you, I will f**k him up.”

Again, I stared at her, then glanced to the ceiling and took a deep breath before saying, “I don’t understand you, Jem. Honestly, you make no sense, no sense to me.”

“What don’t you understand, Janie? You’re my big sister. I don’t want you hurt.”

“Unless you’re the one to do it?”

Her jaw ticked, her eyes narrowed, and she looked at me for a long time before responding. When she did respond, I was surprised by the intensity behind her words. “You’re all I’ve got, Janie. I need to know that what I do still matters to someone, even when it’s crazy.”

This statement caused me to flinch, and I opened my mouth to respond but no sound came out.

She looked away, sighed, then added, “They have me on this medication. They started it after I…never mind about that. I feel better. Like, less angry. It’s nice.”

I watched her for a moment and my heart—silly, silly heart—experienced a twinge of hope. I decided not to press her. I didn’t want her to get defensive about it, so I changed the subject and promised myself I’d find out what she was on. Then I’d research the medication. Then I’d see about talking to her doctors to see if I could help.

“Dad is coming to the wedding,” I said. “Do you want him to come visit you?”

“Dad?” She looked truly confused. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why is he going to the wedding?”

“Because he’s my dad; he’s giving me away; that’s what dads do at weddings.”

Her face was contorted with a confused sneer. “Why would you have him give you away? He never had you. He never had any of us. We’re not his to give.”

I frowned at her statement, but shrugged. “It’s tradition.”

She stared at me for a long moment then huffed. “Yeah, whatever. You should give yourself away. You raised yourself, and you basically raised me.”

I released a humorless laugh. “I guess that answers the question of whether or not I should have kids.”

“Fuck yeah you should have kids.” She surprised me by looking honestly offended. “You’ll make a great mom. You were great; I was the problem. Always breaking shit....” She glanced to the side then down at the table that separated us, picked at the Formica again.

Something was different about her. Maybe it was the medication.

I watched her and a lump formed in my throat. I looked to the side and blinked my eyes against the sudden stinging moisture. I didn’t know if she was trying to play me or if she was sincere. It didn’t matter much, because she was in prison and was likely going to stay there for a long time.

Rather than show her that the words affected me, I decided to stick to the wedding, mostly because it felt like benign territory. “I’m thinking about getting a different dress, for the wedding.”

Her eyebrows lifted in surprise. “Isn’t it kind of late? When is this thing?”

“Saturday.”

She scoffed then asked, “Why do you want a new dress? What’s wrong with the one you have?”

“It’s….” I struggled with the right word to describe the dress. I didn’t want to tell her about Quinn’s non-reaction because that would give her power over me, letting her know how it bothered me. Instead I finally said, “It’s plain.”

She chuckled. “Of course it is. You’re always this way. You’re always volunteering to be last. Growing up, you were always giving me your share of potato chips. It makes you an easy mark.”

“What would you have me do? Take your chips? Treat you like dirt? Behave like you?”

Jem’s eyes held mine as she shook her head slowly. “No, Janie. I wouldn’t see you like me for all the world. What I want for you is to stop worrying about what you think you should want, and just do what you actually want. If you want a new dress with f**king…ruffles and shit, then call in every favor, every IOU, and go get a new dress.”

I stared at her, my brain working overtime, latching on to what she’d said; specifically, call in every favor.

I exhaled a laugh as a plan started forming in my mind. “Jem…you’re a genius!”

She lifted a single eyebrow and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “I know. We were both IQ tested in elementary school.”

***

As soon as I was back in the SUV, I pulled out my wallet and searched for Niki’s card.

Yes, that Niki, Quinn’s former slamp and current fashion industry guru. I had kept her card because we had corporate clients on the West Coast and I thought it might be nice to have a contact out there. Maybe she knew where the knitting groups met.

I didn’t think twice about calling her now even though I would have to use my accursed cell phone. I’d helped her with a fashion emergency once, and I was hoping she would have some ideas on how to deal with my problem now. Worst-case scenario, she would say no and I would wear my plain and sensible dress.

The phone rang three times before it was answered. “Talk to me.”

I was a little caught off guard by the abrupt non-greeting, but quickly recovered. I also took her request at face value, skipped the salutation, and talked to her. “I need your help finding a wedding dress that is Marie Antoinette levels of completely amazing but without any reference to the fact that she was ultimately beheaded. The main issue is that I only have four days before we get married.”

The line was quiet for a beat, then she said, “Who is this?”

“This is Janie Morris. We met in London at the charity event.”

“What charity event? For what charity?”

Inwardly, I groaned. “See, I knew someone would ask me that eventually. I have no idea what the name of the charity was. I asked while we were there, but no one seemed to know. I tried to look it up later, but none of the society columns defined the charity. You would think that at least one person would know. It could have been a charity for retired feline beauty contestants for all I know.”

“Wait—wait, is this…are you the one who helped me with my dress in the bathroom? You’re the jer—um, you’re Quinn Sullivan’s fiancée, right?”

I tried to discern her mood through her voice. She sounded excited, but it could have been irritated or agitated.

“Yes, this is me. I am her.”

“Oh! You should have said so. How are you? Tell me everything.”

“Oh, well, if you want to know, I’m well. Except Quinn’s sister is just not being reasonable. I think she doesn’t realize what a gift she has in her family. All she needs to do is apologize and mean it so everyone can move on. I also think Quinn isn’t giving himself enough credit and speaks of himself in disparaging terms that are completely unfair. He’s a good person. I just wish he’d realize it. Then there’s my sister. I just got finished visiting her in jail. She’s being charged with breaking and entering my in-laws’ house, and she had a gun. I’m not really sure how to feel about her right now. They have her on some medication which I think might be helping, but….”