“But Quinn wants- he- he’s my boss and now he’s my boyfriend? And then there is that apartment in his building. I promised him I would take you to see it.”

She shrugged, “We’ll go tomorrow afternoon, before you meet Quinn for your date.” And then she was wagging her eyebrows again.

I held my breath for a moment then sighed. My forehead landed in my palm and I directed my question to the table, “What am I going to do?”

Elizabeth cleared her throat then brushed her fingertips against my wrist, “Well, you are going to go back to work and not let Ms. Olivia Von Evilpants think she made any impact on your relationship with Quinn. Tonight you’ll go tutor down on the south side. Tomorrow we’ll go look at the swanky apartment. Then, after, when you see the man you love- aka Quinn Sullivan, aka Sir McHotpants- for your date, you’ll ask him about the email.”

She made it sound so simple, so reasonable, so possible.

I could only nod, agree, and hope she was right.

It all went according to plan, until it didn’t.

I did go back to work. I did ignore Olivia even though she seemed over eager to throw herself in my path and speak to me for the rest of the day. I did go to tutoring that night and I successfully avoided thinking about being in love- in love with Quinn- until he messaged me his nightly text, which had turned somewhat math-mushy recently: If I were a function you would be my asymptote. I always tend towards you

Then followed it with: I miss you.

I allowed myself to enjoy it and wonder that I may have fallen in the pit of love with this man. For it was, truly, a pit. It was dark and unknown. It was scary and I was surrounded on all sides by it.

Therefore, in an effort to avoid dark and definitely frightening pits, I made up my mind to make up my mind about the ‘in love’ question when I saw him next.

The next morning I was feeling better about the lawyer-speak email. I was feeling calmer and more certain. By mid-afternoon I was actually looking forward to taking Elizabeth to see the apartment and by the time I met her at the building I was trying to contain my pre-Quinn-date excitement.

It all went wrong when I inserted the key into the apartment door. Before I could turn it the door adjacent to it opened and Quinn bolted out of it, his expression thunderous, and his chest bare.

That’s right. He wasn’t wearing a shirt.

Both Elizabeth and I took a startled step backward just as he, also, rocked backward on his feet, his expression instantly mirroring ours.

“Janie.” My name was a breathless whoosh, his hand reached behind him and he grabbed for the door he’d just exited.

“I-” my eyes moved to his na**d chest then lower to his jeans and bare feet. I lifted my gaze to his again and I could sense Elizabeth behind me shift to the side as she tried to peer into the apartment behind him.

“What are you doing here?” Quinn asked the question without malice or accusation; he sounded genuinely astonished.

“I’m- You made me promise to show Elizabeth the apartment.”

His attention shifted from me for the first time since we almost collided in the hall and flickered to where Elizabeth was standing. He blinked at her.

“So, Quinn…” Elizabeth’s voice sounded at my shoulder and didn’t lack malice or accusation, “Who is in there with you and why the hell don’t you have a shirt on?”

“I-” Quinn visibly flinched, either surprised by Elizabeth’s words or the harsh tenor of her tone.

Before he could respond Elizabeth stepped forward and pointed to a mark on his neck, “Is that a bite mark?”

His hand automatically lifted to his neck.

Elizabeth turned to me, her voice rising, “Did you give that to him?”

I shook my head. Everything was happening so fast, there were too many data points and I couldn’t absorb any of them, they were scattered on the floor, running away from me like legless teeth. I could only look mutely between Quinn and Elizabeth and the door he was trying to close.

Elizabeth turned back to him, pointed to another mark in the middle of his chest, “And that is a cigarette burn- what the hell?” she was shrieking. “I know Janie didn’t give you that.”

His eyes found mine and I saw fear, “Listen- listen for a minute- you both need to leave- you shouldn’t even be here, where the hell are your guards-” Quinn seemed to be trying to collect his wits and his voice was laced with firm yet panicked urgency.

The door behind him swung all the way open and, in that moment, my brain and heart stopped.

Jem was behind him, dressed only in her underwear, smoking a cigarette, a hard smile curving her lips.

“Hey big sister.”

Quinn glanced over his shoulder distractedly then almost jumped into the hall, “What the hell?”

My mouth opened and I heard something break, a small snapping noise, in the back of my mind followed by an intense rush of physical pain starting behind my eyes and in my chest. I couldn’t breathe. Quinn and Elizabeth and Jem were all talking but I heard nothing.

I heard nothing.

In retrospect, dwelling upon the next several minutes in hindsight, all I remembered was blurriness. Somehow Elizabeth pulled me out of the hallway and out of the building. She shoved me in a taxi. At some point I recognized that my face was wet and I thought that I must be crying. We made it to the apartment and I followed behind her, she held my hand. Once inside she steered me to the couch and left me there for a moment, coming back almost immediately with the last of our tequila.

Setting it on the table, Elizabeth shook my shoulders and I just distinguished her voice from very far away, “Janie- Janie! Listen to me-”

I turned to her, meeting her eyes. They were large and I registered concern. She pulled me into a full body hug, held me tightly. I heard her mutter, “… that sonofabitch, I will kill him… everyone is going to want to… we’ll all take turns giving him cigarette burns… they’re coming over…”

I blinked, pulling away, “Who is coming over?”

She pushed my hair away from my face in a way that, heartbreakingly, reminded me of Quinn, “While you were sitting catatonic in the cab I texted all the ladies. We’re having an emergency meeting tonight.”

I shook my head and was surprised when a sob vacated my chest, “No- no, I don’t want to see anyone-”

“Yes, they are coming over. Yes, you will see people tonight, people who love you and want to support you. You can wallow over the weekend. Tonight you’re going to get drunk and eat too much ice-cream.”

I only half heard her. Half comprehended the words. I was crying again and everything went blurry. She pushed the bottle of tequila into my hand and encouraged me to drink.

It burned in my mouth and down my esophagus, and I held the discomfort close to me. It was a relief to feel pain from some source other than my heart. Elizabeth pulled the bottle from my hand and took a long, answering swig, before slamming it on the table with a loud thunk.

“I am so sorry, Janie.” She put an arm around my shoulders and brought my head to her chest, “I am so sorry.”

The door buzzed and Elizabeth stood to check the receiver. I heard Marie’s voice over the speaker. I mechanically reached for the tequila bottle, feeling a little disappointed when it burned with less intensity on my second swallow.

Nevertheless, as I took my third pull from the bottle, I welcomed the numbness.

Moments later Marie’s arms surrounded me and buried my head on her shoulder, her shampoo-commercial-ready hair smelled like lemon and lavender. Next Kat’s arms encircled me from behind. I heard Sandra’s voice some time later and she took Marie’s place on the couch.

“Come to mama, baby girl.” Sandra kissed my forehead and held me in a tight embrace; lest I forget her profession as a psychiatrist, she soothed me with a coaxing voice, “Now, you don’t need to talk about it until you’re ready. We are here to support you and love you.” She took a deep breath and then, lest I forget she was Sandra the Texan, she continued, “And when you’re ready to cut his balls off I will provide the knife.”

Dimly, I was aware that someone was laughing; I lifted my head and, with a little surprise, found that I was, in fact, laughing. I met Sandra’s green eyes, they were sparkling but were rimmed with concern, and I managed a soggy smile.

I glanced around the room; Elizabeth was hovering by the door, her hands were clasped together against her cheek; Marie was sitting in a chair by the couch giving me a sympathetic smile; Kat was behind me rubbing small circles on my back; Sandra was holding my shoulders. Their wide stares all mirrored my vulnerability back at me and to each other, as though they wanted to, expected to shoulder and share in my burden.

I really loved them.

Kat petted my hair to the side and laid her head on my shoulder, “Oh, Janie. We are all going to get so drunk.”

My eyes blurred over with new tears even as a small, involuntary laugh passed between my lips. The buzzer for the building door sounded again and Elizabeth pressed the release button without checking who was calling up.

“It must be Fiona, she said she was getting a sitter until Greg could get home. Ashley has to finish her shift but said she’ll be here by seven.” Elizabeth moved to the apartment door and left it ajar for our friend.