I dropped to my knees next to her and rubbed her back as she coughed the sea water near my legs. Her lips were turning blue. I pulled her into my lap and pulled down the rest of her wet suit and covered her with the towel we’d brought out. I knew she was probably just in her bra and underwear, but she needed heat. It was warm outside, but Oregon water was frigid.

My skin sizzled as it made contact with hers. I wrapped my arms around her tightly and began running my hands fast over her arms.

“You scared the hell out of me.” My voice wavered.

“Sorry.” She croaked. “I didn’t see the wave.”

“No shit.”

She laughed and looked up at me. “I promise it wasn’t part of the plan.”

“Plan?” I didn’t like that her teeth were still chattering.

“To drown so you’d give me CPR.”

“Oh, right.” I tucked her head under my chin. “Actually, you kind of stole my plan.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Maybe I’ll let you save me tomorrow.” My hands froze on her arms as the reality of what I just said hit me. Was that what I was doing? Using her to save myself? No. I wasn’t using her, but I wanted her. I wanted her more than I’d ever wanted another girl.

It had been year since I’d felt even close to this way about someone. The last time I did feel this way, she betrayed me and then died.

Talk about a poor track record.

I sighed and continued moving my hands over her arms.

“So you and Nat?” Alyssa whispered, her voice still sounded hoarse.

“Wow, news does travel fast in this town. To be fair, she was actually on the news with me for like an entire year.”

“Remember, I don’t watch TV.”

“I thought you said you didn’t have TV.”

“I lied.”

It was torture trying to keep my eyes from looking down at her chest, as her breathing slowly came back to normal. I clenched my teeth and looked away.

“What do you want to know?”

“You guys dated?”

“Yup.”

“What happened?”

“Lots happened.” I swallowed. It wasn’t that I wasn’t over Nat. I just had a hard time talking about my own stupidity to a girl I was trying to impress, and I knew that if I told her the whole sob story she’d run away screaming. I mean, I was a complete prick to my brother and to her. I didn’t want Alyssa thinking that I was the same guy anymore. Because I wasn’t.

“It’s a long story. I’m happy for her, though, we’re still really close.”

“That’s it?” She pushed away from me and shivered.

I cursed and pulled her close again. “Tell you what. A secret for a secret.”

“W-what?”

“You heard me.” I reached down and tilted her chin up. “If I tell you something that’s hard for me to discuss, then you need to tell me something that’s hard for you. That way we’ll be even.”

Alyssa tried to pull her chin away. I wouldn’t let her.

She glared.

I smiled.

We were like fire and ice, and I loved it.

I could tell she was getting uncomfortable, because she refused to look at me; instead she bit her lip. “I’ll try.”

“Good.” I released her chin, but she didn’t move to the position she was in before. Instead, she leaned forward.

Alyssa’s lips were parted just slightly. Now that the panic was over, I remembered what they felt like to touch. Just one kiss.

What girl freaks out over one kiss?

I cupped her face and touched my lips to hers, just barely. I didn’t want to scare her, and I didn’t want the kiss to be one of those kisses that happen after a near-death experience.

Her mouth was warm and inviting; it tasted like the ocean. I had never been one for good self-control. I used my tongue to part her lips, just a bit. I wanted to taste more.

She stiffened, and then opened her mouth.

I took full advantage.

My arms went around her waist, pulling her tighter against me. In the back of my mind I remembered that my wetsuit was too tight for me to be in any state of arousal, but I didn’t care.

Trouble. She was absolute trouble. Clearly she had no idea how good of a kisser she was. As her tongue tangled with mine, her cold hands came up to cup my face. I allowed myself to completely lose control. Never had I ever felt the need to be so vulnerable with another human being.

It scared the hell out of me.

I pulled back.

Her face was flushed, her lips swollen. I wished in that moment I could convey to her how beautiful she was to me, how wanted she was, how treasured she was. I wanted to lay claim to her, but at the same time just hold her hand. I wanted to sleep with her, but at the same time, the idea was almost repulsive. She deserved more than what I knew I was capable of giving.

But it didn’t keep me from wanting to give it to her.

To give her everything.

I sighed. “You’re a good friend.” And insert nail into relationship coffin here.

I wrapped my arms around her and picked her up, not allowing her to say any sarcastic remark back. My lips found hers again as I twirled her around.

After a few minutes I pulled away and placed her on her feet. “Can you walk?”

“After the kiss or after my near drowning?” She lifted an eyebrow.

“Oh, I totally forgot you almost died. I was just thinking about the kiss,” I teased.