“Ma’am, are you okay?” The paramedics kept talking and talking, but all I heard were Brady’s last words. All I saw was blood, and all I felt was empty.

I fell to the ground, forgetting I was at the movie theatre right in front of the girl’s bathroom.

Voices were muffled behind me, but it was as if I couldn’t hear what they were saying. I clawed at the door. Why wouldn’t it open? I couldn’t have a meltdown in front of the whole town!

Strong arms picked me up to my feet embracing me from behind. “Shhh,” Demetri whispered in my ear.

Was I crying?

I touched my face. It was wet.

“How’d you find me?” I whispered hoarsely, refusing to turn around and look at him.

“Sam and Aaron said you ran by them toward the women’s restroom.”

I nodded. My heart beat slowly, reminding me that I had life, when all I wanted to do was crumble into a tiny ball and die.

Why was this still so hard? Was it because I refused to forget him?

But by forgetting him, I lost him. I didn’t know what to do.

I turned in Demetri’s arms and wept against his chest. He brought out the vulnerability in me. I both hated and loved it.

“Do you want to talk?” he asked after a few minutes.

I wiped some tears from underneath my eyes and shrugged.

“Let me text Alec and let him know what’s going on. We can walk back. It’s only a few miles, and it will give us time to talk, okay?”

I didn’t trust myself to speak, so I nodded.

Chapter Eighteen

Demetri

She was a damn mess. I mean I knew what she’d been through, but only because the guys in group had filled me in.

Maybe it was worse than I thought. I cursed, and rather than texting Alec, thought it might be best to explain things in person, so he didn’t think I was off doing who knows what. I jogged into the theatre to locate my brother.

“We’re gonna go,” I whispered once I found Alec.

He gave me a confused look. I shook my head, my way of saying leave it alone. I mean, he and I had our own deal of shitty baggage we had to deal with. Hell, I was still dealing with some of mine, but this girl… I don’t know. There was something about her, something more that was spiraling her into the anxiety I saw in her eyes. I knew what it felt like to be so lost all you wanted to do was allow the darkness to consume you until you breathed your last breath.

“We’ll come back and see you for your birthday.” Alec gave me a pat on my back. Nat teared up.

She was always tearing up when we all had to part ways. I knew it was hard on her to leave her home and to leave me. She was always worried I was going to fall back into bad habits.

Poor thing.

She reached over and squeezed my hand then whispered, “Don’t be an ass, Demetri. I like this one.”

Ah, Nat. Why I fell in love with her in the first place, that damn honesty. “Thanks, Nat.”

I ran back down the stairs and went in search of Alyssa.

She was standing next to the exit, her arms protectively wrapped around her frail body.

“Ready?” I held out my hand. Without answering, she took it. At least she wasn’t crying anymore.

We walked at least a mile in silence.

Damn. I hated that type of silence. The kind that’s so thick with emotion you nearly choke every time you try to breathe.

My eyes searched the landscape as I struggled for breath.

Even though we lived in Malibu, nothing really compared to the way the Pacific Ocean smelled in Oregon. The climate sucked hard, but when it was nice, it was one of my favorite places in the world.

Not that I would ever tell Nat or Alec that. They’d think I was back on drugs for sure.

“So,” I bravely spoke into the chasm of silence between us.

“Was it the preview?”

“Kind of.”

“Kind of?” I looked away. Maybe if I wasn’t focusing all my attention on her like she was some sort of broken bird, she would feel freer to speak her mind.

“It was the sound.”

“The music to the preview? I thought One Direction was your new favorite band.” My ploy at joking didn’t work. No smile.

Nothing. Not even a blink.

Right.

“The sound of metal hitting metal.” Her lower lip quivered.

She bit down on it hard and looked at her feet as we walked.

I suck. Seriously, how did I not get that? Shit. I didn’t know what to do. I was so out of my element. I was like my own broken Humpty-Dumpty, still trying to put myself back together. How the hell was I supposed to glue her pieces together when I was still trying to find mine?

“At risk of sounding like a complete loser and making you pissed, I think you should talk about what happened, or just talk about him.” God, how I hated him in that moment. What the hell did he do to her?

She was silent for a while. I grabbed her hand as we reached the first bridge and crossed over. She stopped right in the middle and leaned over it.

“Brady was perfect.”

Okay, so maybe I lied. I don’t want to compete with a ghost.

I mean, how do you compete with perfect? I can’t even compete with Alec. Hello, insecurity, thy name is Demetri.

“Perfect how?” Seriously, the guy was dead, and I still wanted to kill him. How terrible of a person was I? I knew I was going crazy. I mean, if he was standing right here all I could imagine doing was pushing him off the bridge and telling him to stay the hell away from Alyssa. To stop hurting her so that I could have her. Selfishness, thy name is also Demetri.