Something finally snapped inside me. Maybe it was my sanity; whatever it was, I felt it the minute it unleashed. Like a tiny thread that was finally stretched too tight and with one final pull, it disintegrated.

All I knew is everything hurt, and all my hurt was directed at Brady. I could see it now, but Demetri was standing right there so I lashed out.

I grabbed the journal off the floor and threw it at his face. It missed him by a few feet. I started scrambling on the floor for something else to throw, something else that could cause him pain, make him hurt as much as I hurt.

I was on my hands and knees when it happened. When Demetri’s arms flew around me and held me close to his chest. I threw my elbows and legs all over the place, but he was unmovable.

Exhausted, I finally collapsed in his arms.

“I hate him so much.”

“I know, sweetheart. I know.”

I don’t know how long we sat on the floor like that. Me in his arms, rocking back and forth. After a while my eyes grew heavy and I succumbed to the darkness.

Chapter Thirty-two

Demetri

A shitty day was just made worse. I walked — correction — I ran to Alyssa’s house, and now I was paying the price for staying up half the night with her while she cried in my arms.

I kissed her on the forehead before I left. I even tucked her in bed so she could rest.

It was a new day. Maybe things would start to get better?

As I turned the last corner that led me back to the boardwalk, a camera went off and then another and another until I was blinded by paparazzi.

“Demetri, you look terrible. Are you on drugs again?”

“Demetri! Did your girlfriend dump you?”

“Is the show canceled?”

“Where’s your brother?”

My mouth opened to give a snotty retort when I felt someone’s arm around my shoulders. I looked up to see Jaymeson grinning like a fool.

“Enough about AD2, let’s talk about me.” He pushed me slightly out of the way and directly into Nat’s arms.

I shook as she held me and walked me to where Alec was standing.

We walked in silence to the beach house. Nat kept holding me close to her as if trying to protect me from all the crazy people out there. And Alec, for once, didn’t joke about our relationship. He didn’t say one damn thing, though it looked like the next person who spoke was going to get punched in the face.

Finally, once we were in the safety of our own house, with Bob at the door like some sort of guard dog, Alec lost it.

“What the hell, Demetri? You were out all night! You weren’t answering you phone and you just disappeared! Nobody knew where you were.”

“Sorry.” I sighed in exhaustion.

“You look like shit, man.”

“Thanks,” I croaked.

“Where did you go?”

“To hell and back, thanks for asking. Do we have any coffee?”

Nat patted my hand. “I’ll run next door and get some. You guys ran out yesterday.”

The room fell silent except for Nat’s footsteps on the hardwood floor as she left our house and ran next door.

“I went to fix things with Alyssa.”

“And how’d that work out for you?”

“Does my shirt look like it has a rainbow on it? Are birds chirping in the distance and butterflies flapping around my head?”

“That sucks, bro.”

“Wow, you really need to learn how to give better advice.” I shook my head. “I’m just exhausted. I think I need five pounds of coffee and at least a few hours of sleep before I can talk about it.”

“Oh,” came Nat’s voice. I turned around to see not just her standing there but Mrs. Murray as well.

“Care to talk?”

“Care to medicate me?” I snapped.

“He’s tired,” Alec explained.

“Your choice, Demetri,” Mrs. Murray said.

Exhaustion finally hit the tipping point as I nodded my head. I couldn’t speak. I felt like I was stuck in a terrible nightmare, that at some point I’d wake up and Alyssa would be smiling again in my arms.

“Coffee and then we talk and then medication?” The words stumbled out in a slur.

Mrs. Murray smiled. “Yes to the first two, and no to the last.”

“A guy can try.”

**** A half hour later I was in Mrs. Murray’s office sitting on the floor. The coffee had woken me up a bit but not as much as I would have liked.

It felt weird to be sitting in the exact same spot I’d sat in every week and think about how much I’d changed.

When I first came to therapy I was a total ass.

Now I was a broken ass.

I wondered which was better?

I smirked at my own joke. Yup, completely exhausted.

“Something funny?” Mrs. Murray asked taking her seat.

“Life.”

“If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry, am I right?”

I nodded in agreement. “I don’t really know what to say. I just spent the night holding the girl I love in my arms. Watching pain rip through her heart almost killed me.”

“I need you to know something, Demetri.” Mrs. Murray folded her hands across her lap and sighed. “I can’t be your therapist anymore.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Are you seriously trying to kill me?” I couldn’t believe she would drop this bomb on me after the night I’d had! I was ready to unleash on her when she joined me on the floor and then reached over and gave me a hug.