A small flash of my normal self wrenched itself from the dirty puddle that was now my soul. I forced past the weakness, whispering, “You’re a f**king cocksucker and I’ll ch—chop off your balls before you die.”

He laughed and clicked his fingers. “Is that a fact?”

A guard I didn’t know appeared next to me. He looked like a sack of potatoes. Big gut, lumpy clothing, and a face only an ogre could love. He smiled, wriggling his fingers in my face. “Hello.”

I must be pleasant. Be polite. How many times did my parents tell me they could only love a polite, quiet child?

“Hello,” I repeated, wishing my head wasn’t so heavy so I could keep eye contact longer.

Leather Jacket moved forward, heading behind the two girls in front of me. He rested a hand on both their shoulders and they whimpered.

Don’t. Don’t touch them. I shook my head. Why can’t he touch them again?

“Ryan here is going to make sure you obey.” Baring his teeth, he jerked the girl’s heads back with their hair. “He is the consequence of not listening. Understand, puta?”

Should I nod? I don’t know. I don’t understand. The drugs pulled me further into their web the longer I sat there.

Leather Jacket shoved one of the girls to the floor, cocking an eyebrow in my direction. “Pick her up. Go on.”

The will to save another blazed through the fog and I fell off my chair to crawl to her. The girl moaned as I touched her wrist and our eyes connected in a brief moment of lucidity. In her green gaze I saw all my dreams and hopes shrivel to dust. We would all die here. It was just a matter of how much we had to endure before we would be free.

Grunting, I tried to help her up. But I wasn’t strong enough.

Someone smacked me out of the way and I crashed into a chair. Ryan the ogre picked up the blonde as if she was a dirty sock and hurled her into the seat.

I climbed upright, using the chair as support. Drugs swirled. I’m hot. I’m cold. A racking cough crippled me and it was a while before I could breathe again.

I couldn’t understand what just happened.

Leather Jacket said, “If you can’t do it right the first time, Ryan will do it better than you.” He came closer, leering into my face. “He’ll make sure to do it ten times better than you. Understand, puta?”

I gained enough minor motor control to nod. Just to get him out of my personal bubble.

“All right then, let’s get this party started.” He nodded at Ryan. “Go ahead.”

Everything exploded.

The girls screamed as Ryan launched himself at them. Dragging them toward the concrete wall, he pinned one with his forearm while holding the other immobile for Leather Jacket to cuff.

For the first time, I noticed iron manacles dangling by chains from the wall. Rusty and ancient, they looked like they belonged in a medieval torture chamber.

Leather Jacket worked fast and before I could move, the girl’s arms were spread wide and her ankles trapped with more iron cuffs attached to the floor.

She looked at me and my heart died for her. What the f**k was happening!

Once the first girl was secure, Leather Jacket proceeded to shackle the other. He slapped her when she tried to pull away. She squealed and thrashed, causing more abuse to rain upon her skin.

I found my voice in the fog and screamed, “Stop!”

But Leather Jacket just laughed. “We’re the ones doing the ordering. You just wait your turn.”

Once the girls were chained to the wall, bodies pressed against icy concrete, both men came toward me, sandwiching me between them.

The girls pleaded with me to help them. I wanted to. I would. But how? I could barely function, let alone save us.

One girl wailed, “Please. Don’t do this. Let us go. What did we do? We just want to go home!”

My own misfortune from the first time I’d been Leather Jacket’s captive came back to haunt me. I’d never begged. I’d fought and it landed me in more pain.

Why did I fight again? Because it isn’t right. None of this is right!

I’m hungry. I’m tired. I’m cold. I just want to go home. Where am I?

Leather Jacket roared at them in Spanish and I trembled, unable to look, but I couldn’t look away either. I wanted to imprint them to memory. Their survival was on my shoulders. I would get them free.

Leather Jacket put an arm around my neck, sticking his gruesome tongue in my ear. “Ready for day one of training, bitch?”

I squirmed, but it was too late. A needle disappeared into my arm and another hot wave of all-consuming mental oblivion sucked me deep. Down and down I went, spiralling heavier and heavier until I existed on the bottom of a rubbish-filled ocean.

Sounds warbled. Smells twisted. My vision darted from place to place, never locking on anything, always moving, making me sick with vertigo. But it was my brain I worried most for. My sharp intelligence and fierce awareness no longer existed. It’d been suffocated into tiny clouds, floating uselessly in my skull.

Leather Jacket pushed me forward and I wobbled on uncoordinated legs. “Hit them.”

Hit them. Hit them. Of course, why didn’t I think of it? Hitting them makes total sense.

No, wait.

It doesn’t. What? Why would I hit anyone? I didn’t want to inflict pain.

No!

I swallowed thickly, licking my oversized lips. “Wh—why?”

He frowned, bouncing around in my crazy funhouse vision. “Did you just ask why, puta?” He shook his head, looking at Ryan. “Rule number one. You never ask questions. Ryan. Please show this bitch what I expected from her.”

“Sure thing, boss.”

I watched in horrifying slow motion as Ryan sucker-punched a girl in the gut. She bent over, jerked to a halt by the manacles. She screamed, crying uncontrollably.

Why did he do that?

Because she’s been naughty. A child needs discipline. Yes. A child needs discipline. I should know. I suffered enough slaps while I grew up.

No. this is different. Don’t forget. Never forget this is wrong. So wrong.

Leather Jacket pulled me forward. “Let’s try this again. Hit them.”

“Hit them?” I repeated. My voice sounded far, far away as if I lived in a dark tunnel where no light existed.

“Hit them, or I will,” he ordered.

I shrugged. Did it matter to me? Why did it matter to me?

Because he’ll kill them! At least if you do it, you’ll be as gentle as you can. Do it. Protect them by hitting them.

The small nucleus of who I was wailed at the injustice. How could I stop this?

Leather Jacket said something in Spanish to Ryan the Ogre. I blinked and weaved on the spot.

“Be my pleasure.” Ryan moved at lightning speed, and the action didn’t register in my slow brain until the bone-crunching thwack of his fist connected with the other blonde. She doubled over, puking instantly.

Fuck! Get it together.

Hit them. Hit them. Stop this!

Some frantic part of me doggy-paddled against the riptide of drugs, dispersing it a little, enough so I could see glimpses of reality. Oh, God. I had to torture these women. I had to abuse women who looked like me. I had to break and do as I was told in order to save them from a worse punishment.

Hands flew to my mouth, trying to contain the rising bile. I reeled backward. “You’re sick. Let them go!” My wide eyes flew to Leather Jacket in horror. “Please. Do what you want with me, but leave them alone!”

Leather Jacket shook his head. “Goddamn, you are strong. You should’ve buckled under the mix by now.” He ran hands through his greasy hair, thoughts racing in his eyes. “Ryan. Give me the stick.”

Ryan gave him a baton. The same type police used on bad guys and men like Leather Jacket. “Take this, puta.” He held it out to me.

I growled like a feral cat, backing toward the door. I tried the knob, knowing full well it wouldn’t turn.

He didn’t try to stop me, just watched with a cocked head and twisted smile. “I won’t ask you again, bitch. Take this.” He waved the stick in my direction and I shook my head, succumbing to the drugs again.

Why didn’t I want to take the stick?

No reason. Stop fighting. It’s such a waste of energy. You’re right. I’m hungry. I’m cold. I want to go home. Where am I?

My mind turned traitorous, leaving me in the dark completely. Q had turned my body against me, but these bastards were doing it to my mind.

Leather Jacket nodded. “Have it your way.” He passed the baton to Ogre. He didn’t say a thing. The man accepted it and in one fierce strike broke a blonde girl’s leg.

Her screech echoed in my ears and I knew I would never forget it. Never erase the pain and horror of her voice. I would live the rest of my days listening to her scream. I could’ve prevented that. I could’ve stopped that!

“Stop!” I sobbed, tears waterfalled down my cheeks. “Stop. I’ll do it. I’ll do it. I’ll do it…” I couldn’t stop repeating and repeating. The thought ran around and around in my head. “I’ll do it!”

Leather Jacket grinned, coming toward me to tuck me under his arm. “Good, bitch. Now that we’ve broken through. Let’s have some fun, shall we?”