I hated that feeling.

The one of not belonging.

I’d felt it my entire life.

Will’s voice rose an octave from the corner of the room as he paced in front of the fireplace and thrust a hand through his wavy golden hair.

I looked away.

And forced myself to forget the way his hair had felt between my fingers, just like I purposefully made myself forget the way I’d always felt in his arms.

Alive and home.

“I think we lost her,” Zane whispered.

I jerked my attention back to them. How long had they been staring while I stared longingly at Will?

Great.

It had been years since I’d blushed, and yet I felt a really strong one filling my cheeks as Zane looked between us. “It’s okay, you know.”

“Now what are you talking about?” I snapped in the voice I used when I was annoyed and wanted the other person to back the hell off. Typically it worked.

But Zane Andrews wasn’t typical.

He just grinned wider and shrugged. “We all have our shit, Ang.” He tossed another marshmallow in the air. I caught it with my right hand, nearly squishing it between my forefinger and thumb before popping it into my mouth. “Take me for example. I was a virgin before I met this one.” He pulled Fallon in for a side hug, and I choked on my marshmallow. “And I have such bad anxiety that sometimes all I want to do is move into a marshmallow-shaped house and die of sugar consumption.”

“Like Candy Land.” I nodded needing to fill the awkward conversation with my voice.

“Right, but with marshmallows.” His grin was so calming, I couldn’t look away. “I mean take a look at Will, the guy still can’t pee standing up. I’ve tried everything, even tossed a few Cheerios in the bowl, but still, the guy lacks the ability to just tug it out and go. Hell, I even bought Froot Loops thinking the colors would help—”

“The hell are you talking about?” Will snapped.

The hairs on the back of my arms stood on end as I gulped and waited for him to turn his attention to me and whatever I was doing to piss him off in that second. Instead, he scowled at Zane and crossed his arms.

Zane grinned. “It’s okay to admit to your friends, man, just because you have to sit down…” His grin widened. “Like a chick…”

Will pinched the bridge of his nose. “I think I just made Angelica my new favorite client.”

“And all it took was confessing your deepest darkest secret in front of her and Fallon.” Zane chuckled, and Will joined in.

My mouth gaped open.

“Aw, there it is!” Zane slow clapped. “The sexy Sutherland Sunset.”

Will burst out laughing then charged Zane. “I’m bigger than you.”

Zane danced sideways, and Will pulled up sharp. “You have maybe ten more pounds of muscle on me. I’m faster, besides aren’t you getting kind of up there in age? Could break a hip then lack the ability to perform in any sexual capacity… and for what? To take a cheap shot at your favorite client? The same one who just hit number one on Billboard?” He shook his head slowly, “What would the agency say?”

Will paused and then lunged after him. “Screw them, I say it’s worth it.”

Zane burst out laughing then sprinted outside.

Will ran after him.

I dashed to the window just in time to see Will shove Zane into the pool, water went everywhere.

And then all the guys were jumping in after them.

I pressed my face against the window and stared.

Always on the outside looking in.

Wishing it came that easy for me.

To just… relax.

Have fun.

I swallowed as my throat all but closed up.

“You should join them.” Fallon said softly from behind me.

“I um…” God, this was so embarrassing. “I never learned how to swim… at least well enough not to drown when there’re that many bodies creating waves in the pool.” I left out the part explaining that water was attached to another Will memory, just like everything else in my life. It wasn’t that I couldn’t hold my own in the water—it was that every time I had—he’d been there with me.

“Why don’t you have Will teach you?”

“More like drown me,” I spat.

A Rice Krispy treat was thrust in my face. “Zane says it’s the cure for everything — I say it’s the sugar, maybe it will solve everything.”

I took the treat. “Maybe.”

But I knew the truth.

Nothing could fix what had been broken.

Not a Rice Krispy treat.

Not even a do over.

Because that would mean I would have never had any moments with him.

And those moments were all I had.

I HAD A plan. A solid plan. Force her into an uncomfortable situation by way of barbecue and exhaust her so much after filming most of the morning that she’d go to sleep and ignore me, ignore the past, ignore all of it while I tried not to lose my mind.

My plan didn’t work.

Because I forgot one tiny little thing about my friends, about the people I represented.

They were extremely forgiving.

And loyal.

So if one of them wanted to give someone a chance again, they jumped on board, they were family even, though not all of them were blood.

By the end of the night, I was the exhausted one, dreaming about my pillow while Angelica sat by the fire with a few of the girls and laughed.

The first time I heard it, my body went completely still.

The second time, I thought I was hallucinating.

And the third time, well the third time, I had no choice but to look in her direction. My breath caught in my lungs because, that laugh. God, that laugh was one of my favorite sounds in the world.

Or it had been.

If I could bottle up Angelica’s laugh — her real laugh — I’d be a rich man. She laughed with abandon, throwing her head back, exposing her perfect neck; her body lit up, and her eyes twinkled.

I wasn’t sure if I was pissed at the girls for forcing her to laugh and reminding me how damn much I’d missed it — or at Angelica for being so insensitive.

Our first kiss happened because of that laugh.

I couldn’t help myself.

I never could when it came to her.

“Hurry!” I stumbled against the sand nearly colliding with the ground before I picked up my feet and continued sprinting, Angelica hot on my heels. “Ang, you have to hurry!”

She finally caught up, grabbed my hand, and then jerked me to the side behind a rocky cliff. We fumbled around in the darkness of the cave opening and hid.

Three girls stopped a few feet from the entrance. “Where did he go? I know it was him! I swear on my life it was Will Sutherland.”

The girls fell into fits of giggles.

Angelica pressed her lips together and started fanning herself, then sighed and fluttered her eyelashes up at me.

“Very funny,” I mouthed.

One of the girls let out an ear-piercing scream then kicked the sand into the air with her wedge heel. How the hell was she even sprinting in those? “Guys, I swear he made eye contact with me during the concert! If he could just — see me! You know?”

Angelica nodded silently.

I elbowed her.

“Whatever, let’s go back to the tour bus and wait.”

“Shit,” I hissed under my breath.

“Ride with me.” Angelica suggested in a whisper. “Since I’m your new groupie, we’ll follow the bus.”

“Really?” Time alone with her was exactly what I needed after getting in a fight with my bandmates over our next album — the one I still told them I didn’t want to record for obvious reasons, I was getting old, and the lifestyle was getting older. Case in point it was one am and all I wanted was to crash and I was running away from teen fans who were convinced all I had to do was see their face and I’d be proposing.

No thanks.

“Really.” She grabbed my face with both of her hands. “Holy shit!”

“What?” I gripped her wrists. “What’s wrong?”

“Are you the Will Sutherland? With the smile that launched a thousand broken hearts? The guy behind the song Sutherland Sunset?”