“You should have died,” Dr. Murray stated slowly. I knew as much, hadn’t I seen the swirly light? “I’m going to be honest with you, and I’m not going to sugar coat anything, son.”

Nobody had called me ‘son’ since my dad. And he’d died so long ago that to hear that term of endearment was like… coming home. A tear pooled at the corner of my eye and slid down before I could stop it.

“You have a long road ahead of you,” Dr. Murray said, “I’ve made a few calls to enroll you in a local rehab program, along with therapy. The missus thinks it will be a good idea.”

I respected him. I had no idea why, but I did. My eyes continued to get wet with… emotion, but I seriously lost control when he said, “You’re better than this, son.”

Because I was better than this. I knew I was.

I just needed to hear it.

He sat on the bed and sighed. “You were made for more than music, more than just living on the edge, son. I need you to believe that. I need you to work with me so we can get past this. Together. Can you do that?”

Slowly, using strength I knew I didn’t have, I lifted my hand and placed it on his. A gentleman’s agreement. I wasn’t going back. I couldn’t.

He gave me a firm nod then stood and hugged Nat. “He’s going to be fine, baby. I’m going to leave you guys for a minute. I’ll send the nurses in to start taking away some of that equipment hooked up to him.”

I smiled. Wow, I never thought being scolded would actually feel so good.

“What are you smiling about?” Nat grinned.

I moved my head from side to side, as if to say, oh you know…

Alec laughed behind Nat and wrapped his arms around her. “I’m thinking it’s the first time an adult has scolded him in years.”

My smile widened. Yeah he knew me way too well.

They laughed together and Nat walked over to me and kissed my forehead. Her lips were warm. “I love you, Demetri. I’ll always love you.” She grabbed my hand and placed it on her heart. “You’re right here. Always.”

‘I love you too.’ That’s what I would have said if I could. ‘I love you too and I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I didn’t love you the way you deserve to be loved.’

‘I’m thankful he does.’

The thing about love… You can’t fully give it, when you don’t even know what it is. I didn’t love myself, I didn’t accept myself; I blamed myself. And until I was done with all that? I couldn’t have loved her.

Not the way Alec loved her.

Nat walked out of the room leaving me alone with Alec. I stared at him. He stared at me. I stared at him some more. And then he blurted, “If you ever scare me like that again I will bring you back to life, only to kill you all over again, okay?”

I nodded.

“Good.” He swore and then did the strangest thing. My strong-as-nails bad-ass brother, pulled me into his arms and burst into tears.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

Nat

I THREW ON a pair of sweats the following Sunday night and ran across the lawn to the guys’ house. I knocked and waited.

Within seconds Alec appeared. Demetri’s voice was yelling in the background, “Since when does she knock?”

Alec rolled his eyes and tugged me in for a heart-stopping kiss. I parted my lips. Things were just getting interesting, when we heard Demetri gagging from the living room.

Alec winked and stepped back. I laughed and followed him into the house.

Demetri had only been home for a few hours. It looked like a tornado had attacked their living room. Clothes and medicine were everywhere.

“Moving?” I asked as I noted the suitcases in the corner. The room went quiet. I looked to both guys and waited for someone to say something.

“I forgot to take my medicine!” Demetri blurted then hobbled out of the living room with his crutches. I glared at his escaping form then turned my attention to Alec.

He sighed and sat on the couch. “We need to talk.”

“I don’t like that phrase.”

“Fine.” Alec chuckled. “I need to ask you something.”

Tense, I stood. I couldn’t sit. Not if he was breaking up with me, not if he was ending the best thing that had ever happened to me. I knew things were going too well. My parents and I were finally talking, Demetri wasn’t dead, thank God, and Alec and I were on our way toward bliss! It was only a few weeks until Christmas and I was hoping we would be able to spend our entire break together. I didn’t want to spend it alone crying into a pint of ice cream.

“Nat, stop worrying.” Alec pulled me down across his lap. I straddled him, but kept my body from touching his. “I love you.” He kissed my lips and chuckled. “Seriously, you’re stressing me out. Stop freaking.”

I managed a tight smile. “So what is it?”

“We’re going on vacation.”

So not what I expected.

“Huh?”

“I imagined lots of screaming, jumping, and lots of kissing. Huh wasn’t exactly on my list of answers.” Alec flicked my nose and kissed my mouth. “We, as in you and I, are going on vacation before Christmas break.”

“But we have like a week and a half of school and—”

“I’ve taken care of it.”

“And my parents will flip out…”

“Already talked to them.” Alec seemed bored with my excuses.