Chapter One
Abby
Nathaniel looked at me as if I’d sprouted horns. “You think we should what?” he gasped.
Exactly the reaction I’d expected. I took a sip of my red wine and repeated myself. “I think we shouldn’t have sex the month before the wedding.”
“I was afraid that’s what you said.” He tilted his head. “Why?”
I picked up my napkin and pretended to wipe my mouth in order to hide my smile. Why? This from the man who had been so scared to talk about anything at the beginning of our relationship. Quite a change from the one who sat across the table from me now. The one who felt the need to discuss the whys and why nots and even the I don’t care, whatevers about almost everything.
“I know the napkin trick,” he said with a smile of his own. “I’m just a bit curious as to why you would suggest a month-long period of abstinence when you have long-term sexual deprivation marked as a hard limit.”
“I suppose the smart-ass answer is what’s the definition of ‘long term’? To see your face a few minutes ago, you’d think your definition is a week.”
“A week for me is long term.”
I laughed. “Then let’s just say this is me pushing your limits.”
“Pushing limits is my job,” he said in a serious tone of voice, but his eyes were lit with amusement.
“I’m pushing mine, too, you know. Seriously, a month with nothing after one of our normal weeks?” I tried to count on average how often we had sex during a typical week, but gave up. Between our everyday lives during the week and our weekend lives when I wore his collar, well, there was a lot of sex.
“It’s not as if I’ve never gone a month, you know,” Nathaniel said. “And by abstaining, do you mean just us together or can we get off individually?”
I couldn’t help it; I laughed again.
“What?” he asked.
“Just you being you. Trying to establish the rules of something we haven’t even agreed to yet.”
“I want to make sure I’m making an informed and well thought-out decision,” he said in typical Nathaniel fashion. Always the planner. Always with backup plans. Hell, I bet even his backup plans had backup plans.
“You’re smiling at me again,” he said.
I reached across the table and took his hand. “Just smiling at you being you.”
He lifted my hand to his lips and placed a small kiss on my knuckles. “So tell me why we should do this month-long thing.” He took my hand and traced the line at the base of my thumb. I shivered. “Because I’m thinking a month is a really, really long time.” He brought my palm up to his mouth again, but this time nipped the skin just a bit. He smiled at my moan. “Wouldn’t you agree?”
I shifted in my seat. “When you put it that way.”
“I don’t know if it’s possible for me to keep my hands off you for an entire month.” His lips danced along the top of my hand. “Much less my other parts.”
My mind blanked for just a second at the touch of his lips on my skin and the images his words evoked. Why had I thought not having sex for a month before the wedding was a good idea?
Across the table, he looked at me with his I’m waiting expression.
I cleared my throat. “Well, I just thought a month would, you know, give us something to look forward to.”
“I see. Because marrying me? Eh, you can do that any old day. Nothing to look forward to there.”
He was kidding, right? I loved and hated that it was still hard for me to tell sometimes.
“You know what I mean,” I said, deciding he was joking.
He let go of my hand. “Somewhat. I also think our wedding night is something to look forward to no matter what we have or haven’t done the month before.”
“But think about how”—I searched for the right word— “intense it’ll be after we haven’t done anything the month before.”
His eyes darkened. “I guarantee you I can make it intense without having to abstain for a month.”
“Nathaniel,” I half whined, half begged.
He sighed. “You really want to do this?”
“Yes.”
“And it’s really important to you?”
“Yes.”
“And I can’t jerk off in the shower?”
“You can’t jerk off anywhere,” I clarified for him with narrowed eyes, just in case Mr. Rule Book decided to throw in my face two weeks before the wedding that I’d only specified he couldn’t jerk off in the shower.