With a wince he released me. “So what’s on the agenda today?”
“Oh, thank God you’re up!” Mom came shuffling into the kitchen looking like she hadn’t slept in weeks.
With a flourish she dropped the giant binder back onto the table and started pointing at things.
“Jason, I need you to start setting up the tables in the backyard. Colton, get the chairs. Max, I put you with Milo on the centerpieces for the reception. The tents have heaters but they haven’t been delivered yet, and we’ll be using the same tent for both the ceremony and the reception so you’ll need to break everything down tonight and help the coordinators set everything up tomorrow morning. The bachelor party will be directly after the rehearsal and the bachelorette party is being held off-site at an undisclosed location. I’ve packed the fridge with water bottles and purchased two boxes of protein bars. If for any reason you start to feel light-headed, sit down on the grass and keep working. Any questions?”
I raised my hand.
“Milo?”
“Where’s the bride?”
“Jayne?” Mom nodded. “She’s getting ready for this evening. Besides, I told her it was her weekend and her parents agreed. The bride shouldn’t have to lift a finger. They pay, we set everything up.”
“I knew a Jayne once,” Max said wistfully.
I elbowed him in the ribs.
“Any more questions?”
Jason raised his hand.
“Yes.” Mom sounded annoyed.
“What’s Dad doing?”
“Dad,” my dad said upon entering the kitchen, “is going to a bar.”
“Dibs!” all three guys yelled at the same time.
Insert facepalm here.
“He’s kidding.” Mom threw him an irritated glance. “He’s helping set up the tent.” She cleared her throat. “Now, any more questions?”
Max raised his hand even though I tried like the fires of hell to keep it firmly planted at his side.
“Max?”
“Well, it’s not really a question, more of a compliment.”
“Oh?”
“Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are when you give orders? Reminds me a lot of Milo. I can see where she gets what I like to call her terror-inflicting skills.”
I groaned into my hands while Mom and Dad laughed.
“You know it’s true, baby.” Max wrapped his arm around me. “Come on, you made a professor cry last semester.”
“That’s enough.” I laughed dryly.
Colton snorted. “You made a professor cry?”
“To be fair he was an adjunct professor and he had a very . . . tender heart,” I muttered. I was going to kill Max. Kill him!
“Makes a guy proud.” Max nodded. “At any rate, I’m here to help as much as I can.”
Mom beamed.
Dad grunted.
And Colton looked like he was ready to shoot fire out of his mouth and singe Max where he stood.
“So . . .” Mom closed the book with a resounding slam that echoed around the kitchen. “Eat some cereal, take some protein bars, and . . .” She checked her watch. “The event planners should be here any minute! Places, everyone! Oops, maybe you guys can eat and walk at the same time?”
“It’s like we’re in a musical,” Max whispered under his breath.
I opened my mouth.
He slammed his hand over it. “Break out in song, and I’m going to make you wish I really had gotten you an aloe vera plant.”
“Something wrong?” Colton approached us, hands stuffed in his pockets, jaw clenched.
I bit Max’s hand.
With a yelp he pulled back.
“Nope!” I beamed just as Max said, “She likes biting me.”
Holy hell.
Colton’s nostrils flared before he chuckled and looked away. “I see what’s happening here.”
“You do?” Max and I said in unison.
“Yup.” Colton started laughing so hard he had to grip the tabletop. “Milo, why didn’t you just say something?”
“Say something?” I was seriously lost. Was he high?
“Yeah, Milo.”
Max turned on me and mouthed, “What the hell?”
“You’re lying about something.” Colton’s eyes narrowed in amusement. “You always flush when you lie, Milo, and you keep scratching your face. It’s a nervous tic thing. What’s going on here?”
“Nothing,” Max and I said in unison.
Jason came up behind Colton. “You done interrogating my sister’s boyfriend?”
“Uh, yeah.” Colton stepped back, but not before pointing at Max, then me, and saying, “I’m watching you.” Aw, awesome, we were both just given the De Niro.
Once the two of them left the room we exhaled in relief.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Max gave me a tender shove. “We were fine until you started stepping on my foot and elbowing me!”
“You were hitting on my mom!”
“She’s a beautiful lady!” he argued.
“Oh, my gosh.” I fell into one of the chairs and moaned. “This is a catastrophe.”
“Not true.” Max shook his head. “You just have to be more believable. I mean, would it kill you to find me screw-worthy?”
“Screw-worthy? What does that even mean?”
“That’s it.” Max grabbed my hand and pulled me down the hall. “Where’s the bathroom?”