“Reid does a better downward dog!” I yelled above Jason’s voice. “Just leave Jenna out of this!”

“I’ll downward dog you and we’ll see who’s better!” Jason fired back.

“Don’t,” I whispered. “Just stay away!”

“Oh, sweet death!” Reid wailed. “I can see Pop-pop.” He reached into the air and fluttered his fingers as we pulled up to the last stoplight before the turn to the hospital. “Pop-pop, why are you so young? He’s running, Reid. Pop-pop’s running!”

“Damn it! Stay with us!” I hit the accelerator, causing Jason to collide with Reid again.

“It’s coming!” Reid’s voice shook as he let out another wail and then . . . burped.

“You swallow, you son of a bitch!” I yelled. “You hear me? Swallow!”

Reid shook his head.

“Swallow it!”

Jason slapped me on the shoulder. “Funny, I had this exact conversation with—”

“Mmsdlfksdklfhdsfh!” Reid shook his head and tried to open his door.

“Damn it, Reid!”

“Colt! Restrain him!”

I pulled into the hospital parking lot and gave everyone, myself included, whiplash as I jerked to a halt and ran around to the other side of the car to grab Reid.

“Stay with me, little buddy!” He nodded and then puked onto the ground. I rubbed his back and helped him walk through the hospital doors, followed by everyone else.

“I feel . . .” Reid swayed on his feet. “Hot.”

“Keep your insides inside,” I instructed. “Okay?”

A really pretty nurse approached us and smiled.

Reid turned, coughed, and puked on my shirt.

Just as I shook her hand.

“Hi, I’m Max. The new Bachelor. And my brother’s about to give birth, so if you could get us a chair with those stirrup things—it’s going to be a long night.”

CHAPTER SEVEN

MAX

There were probably better ways for me to impress the opposite sex—ways that didn’t involve flatulence or puke, but hey, I was working with what I had! You can’t blame a guy for trying!

Reid coughed. “Hurry.”

The nurse gagged. “I’ll just go get a wheelchair and free up a room.”

“Make sure the room has a bathroom!” I called after her while she scurried off and coughed.

I think I was getting used to the smell of puke. Hmm, probably a bad sign.

“How you holdin’ up, man?” I slapped Reid on the back just as he doubled over in pain.

“Who knew?” Colt shrugged, walking up with Jason. “I mean, sugar-free gummy bears?”

“The devil!” Reid coughed. “The very devil possesses those bears!”

“Here we go!” The nurse returned with a wheelchair and a hospital gown. “If you’ll just follow me I’ll take you to your room.”

Jason’s mouth dropped open.

He was openly and very awkwardly staring at the nurse. I mean, yeah, she was hot, but come on! Reid was dying!

“Remember how you said you’d take one for the team and kiss me on the mouth?”

“Er . . .” I stepped away. “So not the time to be discussing this.”

“Punch me in the face,” Jason ordered.

Colt and Milo shoved past us and followed Reid and the nurse while Jason grabbed my shirt and basically he-manned me up against the wall. “Do it!”

“Stop yelling!” I fought against him.

I didn’t expect him to take it so far as to slap me. But he did. And when I didn’t punch him back, he slapped me harder.

I was officially his bitch, no, really. Swear, it was like we were in a relationship and I’d just pissed him off by not folding the towels just right.

“Stop slapping me!” I lunged for him and then clocked him in the jaw. Jason, of course, went tumbling to the ground.

“Nurse!” he yelled.

The pretty nurse stopped walking and turned around. With a gasp she ran toward us. “What happened?”

Jason pointed at me. Bastard. Glaring, I answered, “I have anger issues.”

“He does.” Jason sniffed and dabbed his jaw with his hand. “Geez, man, control yourself!”

“Dying!” Reid shouted. “In case anyone cares!”

The nurse stopped in her tracks at the sound of Reid’s voice, and then Jason doubled over and clenched his face. “I think something’s broken!”

“Giving birth to a small penguin!” Reid shouted over Jason’s fake whining.

“Oh, for the love,” I grumbled and then slapped Jason on the back as hard as I possibly could. “Suck it up, she can examine you in Reid’s room.”

“You know how private I am, Max.” Jason scowled, holding his jaw.

“Um.” The nurse turned bright red. “I’ll figure something out, but we really need to put some ice on that.” Her gaze met mine. If looks could kill I’d have been descending into hell right about then.

Right. Like I purposefully poisoned my brother and then punched Jason in the face. Why was I always the bad guy? Furthermore, why did I always have to take the fall?

By the time we made it into the room, Jason’s whines had turned into some sort of hoarse moaning that made it sound as if he were a mating pig rather than an adult male in pain.

Reid, on the other hand, soiled himself. Twice. And then prayed for God to call him home at least five times, all before the nice nurse gave him some happy drugs and a change of clothes.