“Um . . .” I waved. “Sorry to interrupt your freak-out, but did you need anything?”
“Yeah, um . . .” He staggered away from me. “Your call time is eight, for breakfast, games, and then you have your date this evening, so . . . right.” He pulled a sheet out of his back pocket. “Here’s your schedule and I’ll just be . . .” He looked me up and down. “Really?”
“Huh?” I took the paper from him.
His eyes locked with mine. Slowly his tongue reached out to lick his lips, and then his eyes did that thing again where I could have sworn they changed colors. And then he just stared . . . making me feel really, really awkward.
“Hey.” I patted his shoulder. “You okay? Do you need to sit?”
“SIT?” he roared. “Oh, hell, no. Take your shit. I need to go for a walk.”
Unfortunately the direction in which he turned was wrong, landing his face directly on one of the poles that were holding up our hut. Swearing violently, he staggered out onto the sand, yelling obscenities about grandmothers and gummy bears ruining his manhood.
Huh.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
MAX
I woke up feeling quite . . . pumped. HA, see what I did there? See, I was pumped because of . . . never mind.
Becca, Becca, Bo, Becca, Me, My, Mo, Mecca, Becca! I never backed down from a challenge, and Becca? She was a challenge, a puzzle I could focus my efforts on so I could ignore the drama of the dating show and the sinking feeling that kept inconveniently popping up in my heart and head telling me that I really needed to get my life together.
A knock sounded at my hut, and then the door burst open. Reid came flying in, his cheek swollen.
“Aw, man, did Milo’s grandma find you again? Even here?” I jolted off the bed. “No worries, we’ll go into witness protection. You, me, Little G, Edward . . .”
“Who the hell is Little G?” Reid roared. “And no! It’s not Grandma, I mean, technically it’s Grandma, but man, I think it’s me. I just . . . repel the opposite sex now.”
I grinned, satisfied that his game was finally off. “You don’t say?”
“Stop smiling.”
“I can’t help that I’m a morning person.” I yawned and then went over to the coffee maker. “Now, sit down and tell Brother dearest all your problems.”
“I think . . .” Reid’s hands shook as he paced my floor. “I think . . .”
“Shh, shh.” I nodded. “Slow down. Why don’t you start at the beginning?”
“Grandma.” Reid blurted the word. “She made me do things.”
“Yes.” I nodded. “She did.”
“I thought I was over it, but . . .” Reid shook his head; his bottom lip trembled. “Man, at night, I still see her, I still smell the Bengay. I think the scent is the worst. It’s like no matter how many times I shower, I’m still . . . minty.”
“Bro . . .”
Reid finally sat on the bed and hung his head. “I hit on a girl and got rejected.”
“Which one? Grumpy? Amazon? Sneezy? Ugh, I hate Sneezy. Swear she wears cat hair somewhere on her body, making my eyes itch like a bitch. Hey, that rhymed!” I took a sip of coffee. “So?”
“Becca.”
And coffee spewed out of my mouth.
“You hit on my best friend?”
“What?” Reid shook his head. “Um, you’ve been here two days. You need at least two years to solidify the best-friend spot.”
“She’s also my partner for the zombie apocalypse.”
“Hey, man . . .” Reid looked hurt. “I thought I was your partner.”
“Cocaptain.” I nodded. “Big difference. Plus she’s a chick, we can’t have her driving the spaceship, I mean come on.”
Reid laughed. “Right? Women spaceship drivers.”
We both contemplated that absurdity in silence.
“So it’s not Grandma.” I sighed and then set down my coffee to stretch. “It’s me.”
“Huh?” Reid blinked. “What do you mean?”
“Mighty Max gave a show last night.”
“The mouse?”
“No, not the—” I groaned. “Reid, focus!” I clapped in front of his face. “I swam naked, I was like a freaking mermaid and Becca—she saw it all. And I do mean all.” I winked. “Let’s just say it was a really good day to be naked.”
“So . . .” Reid still wasn’t getting it. Clearly.
“She saw me. Once a girl goes Max she never goes back. We know this. We both know this.”
“Ah.” Reid snapped his fingers. “So you’re under the deluded impression that because she saw your penis—who by the way you’ve named after a tiny mouse—she’s spoiled for all other men?”
I nodded thoughtfully. “Yes, Reid. There isn’t any other explanation.”
“Maybe I was off my game,” he offered. “Bad lighting or . . . something.”
“Really? Bad lighting?” I laughed. “Please, she wants me, not you.”
“Hmm.” Reid stood. “You’re that confident?”
“Bro, you’ve seen it, you tell me.”
“Please don’t pull down your pants.” Reid held up his hand. “But I see a bet in our foreseeable future . . . I mean, if you’re so confident, you won’t mind that I hit on her? See if I can’t be a best friend too?”