She stared up at him confidently. “I’m sure. Just like I’m sure you’re used to having women all over you at the fights.” Her expression grew a little smug. Like she knew his type.
He moved closer. “Da.” If she liked his native tongue, he’d use it. “But they are rarely the kind of women I want to spend time with.”
“Oh? And what type of woman do you want to spend time with?”
“Petite redheads with green eyes who like to go outside in their underwear.” He bent and took the kiss he’d been promised.
Her palms coasted up his arms to settle on his shoulders. The feel of her delicate hands exploring his body rocked him to his core. She touched him as if she’d never touched a man like him before. He doubted that was true, but she had the most amazing gift of making him feel that way.
She leaned into him, but only a little. Maybe she was unsure of how stable he was on the crutches.
He was plenty stable. He freed one hand and planted it on the small of her back, pulling her closer.
The kiss deepened for a few more perfect seconds, then her hands slipped off his arms to his chest and pushed, breaking them apart. Her gaze held an odd gloominess. Not at all the response he’d expected from that kiss. “Don’t fall for me, Van. We can’t be a thing. It’s too complicated.”
“There is nothing complicated about it. Unless you do not like me the way I like you?”
She stared at the center of his chest, finally shaking her head. “Feelings can’t play into this.”
“That is like trying to discuss how lights work without using the word electricity.”
She laughed, a soft, melancholy sound. “You’re a smart guy, you know that? All I can tell you is, I’m not the kind of woman you want to spend time with either. Trust me.”
“I do trust you, but…” None of that made sense to him. And after that kiss, he couldn’t let it go. “At least tell me why?”
She hesitated, taking a long breath before answering him. “I’ve already told you. I work for the League, you work for the League—”
“And I told you, I am retired.”
She lifted her chin, and a hardness he’d never seen before filled her eyes. “No, you’re not. By your own admission, you’re a fighter. You’ll go back, even if you say otherwise now. If we were a couple, I’d want you to go back, because frankly, it’s where you belong. I know you feel defeated and you’re dealing with this injury, but inside, you need to fight. It’s part of who you are. And getting involved with me would only sidetrack that. At some point, you’d end up breaking things off so you could fight again without worrying about the conflict of interest. Or worse, you’d really and truly quit and then, in time, come to resent me as the reason you never stepped into the ring again.”
He couldn’t deny that in his heart of hearts, he would love to fight again. He swallowed, trying to find the words to tell her that everything she’d just said had hit the mark.
“Your silence tells me I’m right.” She stepped around him and walked into the gym, forcing him to turn. “All I am is a convenient distraction, Van.”
He followed after her. “I do not feel that way.”
“I’m sure you don’t right now. But next week? Next month?” She sighed. “You really want to prove that I’m more than that to you? Then complete your contract. Fight that rematch. Then, when you’re standing in that ring, with your championship belt back in your hands, tell me you’re quitting and maybe I’ll believe you. Because until then, you’re always going to be wondering what if. And I don’t want to be the thing that stopped you from answering that question.”
He stared at her, searching his head and his heart for what he really desired. Two answers came over and over. He wanted her.
And he wanted to fight.
Monalisa stood there in the middle of Van’s workout room, waiting for him to answer and wondering if this would be the moment when he threw her out.
Then the muscles in his jaw flexed. “You’re right.”
Her mouth opened in surprise. She snapped it shut. She hadn’t expected that to work. Her smile came naturally. “I’m glad.”
He moved toward her. “But I’m not willing to give you up for the ring. I want both.”
Her belly twisted. That was not supposed to be part of his decision. “I don’t see how that can happen.”
“I do. We’ll keep our relationship a secret until after the fight. Then, no matter if I win or lose—”
“You’ll win.”
He smiled. “And I will retire for good afterwards. Regardless of the outcome. Then you and I can do what we like, and it won’t matter who knows about it.”
There were a thousand reasons why that wouldn’t work, but arguing any of them would be pointless if she wanted to earn her freedom. All she had to do was nod and agree. Van didn’t need to know she was dying inside, mortified by her own actions.
For the thousandth time, she thought about telling him everything and hoping for the best, but she was already so deeply in. And he’d just agreed to fight again. The coin was within her grasp.
Soul sick at her own ability to deceive such an amazing guy, she somehow smiled and nodded. “Sure, we can give that a try.”
Saying those words made her feel even worse. How was she going to get through the next few days of pretending everything was fine when all of this was to get herself free? Sure, getting Van to fight of his own accord was better than her compelling him to do it against his wishes, but it was still all so awful. She hated herself. Almost as much as she hated her father.