“Just a little touch. That’s all,” she whispers and leans into me.

I lock my arms at my sides and don’t move an inch. If I touch her I won’t be able to control myself. I’ve never felt a woman's intimate touch, and I’m afraid of how I will react.

She reaches her hand down inside the waistband of my shorts and at the first touch of her skin against mine, I shiver. Being touched there by a woman for the first time is confusing and wonderful. I feel her fingers on my cock and my hips jerk. My heart races and I break out in a sweat. Rebecca moves her fingers and I can’t hold it any longer. My cock starts pulsing and I start to cum. I feel her fingers smear the cum around the head of my cock and down my shaft as I empty inside my shorts. I close my eyes, and let the amazing sensation hit me as she rubs me to completion. Having her get me off is like heaven, and it’s better than anything I’ve ever dreamed of.

Once I'm drained I feel the shame wash over me. I can’t believe I just came in my pants like a teenager. I’m a grown man, and I’ve never experienced anything sexual. I’m so embarrassed and angry with myself.

I grab her wrist, take her hand out of my pants, and storm out of the room. I can’t face that humiliation.

BECS

My fingers are coated in his cum. Looking down at them, I rub the warmth between my fingers. Slowly I bring them to my mouth, and out of curiosity I take a taste of him. The saltiness hits my tongue, and makes pleasure shoot through my body. I wonder what it would be like to taste it directly from him. Would he let me? I’m not sure what came over me in that moment. Every time he showed emotion I reveled in it. I got off on it. Whenever Bray came into the coffee shop, he was almost robotic in nature. I’ve noticed he doesn’t seem to let people get too close to him, but tonight he let me lie on his lap in the car. Then he let me touch him. Whenever he touches me it’s over before it even begins. I want to touch him more.

I’ve always been a forward person, but I’ve never touched a man so intimately before, nor had I wanted to. Maybe I was just thankful that he saved me from Nico tonight. No, that can’t be it. Sam has saved me before, and I’ve never once had any feelings for him beyond sisterly affection.

I just felt so safe with him tonight. When I saw him at the Palms, and saw the look on his face, I knew he wouldn’t let anything happen to me. I may not be out of Nico’s hands yet, but I have shelter with Bray for now—a man I’m not sure how to handle. He’s different. Something about him draws me in. He brings out feelings I’ve never had before.

I’ve thought boys were cute before, but I’ve never wanted more. Bray makes me crave more. The only other time I wanted more was when I wanted a family. When I tried to fit in but failed. But sometimes Bray looks at me and I see hunger. Could he want me as I am or would he want to change me? Would I have to change who I am to fit him?

When he pulled me out of club, I was terrified. I’m not sure how he found me there, but thank God he did. I went looking for Sam. Pissed at Bray for never showing up for the dinner I made him, and even more pissed that I cared. When I got there I couldn’t find Sam, and it wasn’t long before Nico was on me. Normally he just makes snide remarks, but tonight he held nothing back. He was making demands that made my skin crawl. Saying Sam owed him a lot of money but he was willing to let me work it off for him. That I didn’t have to worry, he’d be the only one who would get to use me. Like that was a fucking bonus or something.

Thinking about it again makes me want to vomit. But if Nico doesn’t get what he wants, he made it very clear what would happen to Sam.

I go to the master bathroom and wash the remnants of Bray off my hand. I can’t believe how fast he came. I may be a virgin, but I’m not naïve about sex. A few of the girls I’m friends with at the shelter sell themselves for money. Hell, I’ve thought about stripping before, I just always thought I might be a little too chubby to get a job doing it.

I look in the mirror and notice my eyes are bloodshot and swollen from crying, and my brain feels fried from everything bouncing around in it. What am I going to do about Nico? Where the hell is Sam? I feel almost defeated. Stripping off my clothes, down to just my underwear, I wash my face and make my way back into the bedroom.

I took over Bray’s room to get a rise out of him, but I would be lying to myself if I said that was the only reason. I want to be in that bed with him. I’ve wanted him from the moment he walked into the coffee shop and looked at me like he wanted me. The man in the fancy suit wanting the girl who looked like she belonged on the other side of town, which I did.

But more than anything, after what happened tonight, I want to feel safe. And I felt utterly safe when I laid my head on Bray tonight. Did he sleep in the guest room last night too? He came home so late and was gone before I woke. I can’t fix anything with Nico and Sam tonight, but I can get that feeling of safety back. It’s just across the hall.

Before I change my mind, I head for the guest room. When I slowly open the door, I can make out a form in the bed. I slip in and shut the door behind me, and crawl onto the bed.

“Bray,” I whisper. But he doesn’t respond or move. Gliding under the covers, I can feel he’s on his back and he’s only wearing underwear. I press into him, my warm body to his, but I want to be closer. Sliding my leg so my inner thigh rests on his hard stomach, I wrap one arm around him and bury my face in the side of his neck. He still hasn’t moved.

I can’t help but breathe him in. The smell of him mixed with the smell of vanilla. A giggle slips from my lips at the thought of him smelling like vanilla. Did he always smell like that, I wonder, or is it something new he used? Does he taste like it too?