“Crazy,” she agreed, just as her hands found the snap of his jeans. “Good.”
Cooper kept telling himself to slow down, to slow way down, to let go and find a place to lay her down, but he couldn’t seem to get past the lust barrier and neither could she. When she lowered his zipper, it got even more desperate and complicated. As she took him in her hand, his head almost exploded and he muttered, “Condom. Condom. Condom.”
He had to let go of her briefly to get into his back pocket. He fumbled to find the condom, but once it was in his hand, she took it away from him. “Let me,” she said. But she took her time with him, enjoying him for a while, stroking him, kissing him all the while.
“Sarah,” he begged. “Get on with it. Please.”
She suited him up, then slid her leg down from his hip. He gently but a little desperately lowered her jeans, pulling off one leg, then the other. He probed her with his fingers then lifted her off the ground, her back against the wall. A million possible endearments ran through his head. But he said, “Help.”
She threaded her hand between their bodies, found him, helped him find his way inside. He was half out of his mind and long past thinking logically; he slid in and gave a deep groan. She, on the other hand, gave a rather loud “Ahh!” He held her still and fast for a long moment. Then, holding her up under her thighs, he began to move, every thrust bringing him closer to an insane, brainless ecstasy. He thought about saying he was sorry, that he’d make it up to her later, but then she cried out. Her legs tightened around him, her internal muscles clenched and pulled the most amazing orgasm out of him as she came. And came. Her arms locked around his neck; she moaned in pleasure; she held him so tight as he plunged into her again and again and again. It was a long time before all that pelvic action slowed then stopped. Cooper was completely out of breath; his knees went weak. She was panting and holding on for dear life.
“Baby,” he said in a desperate whisper. “Please don’t move.”
“I can’t.” She sighed.
“Just don’t move,” he said again. “You could break off meaningful parts....”
She sighed again, nuzzling, kissing his cheek.
“Honey...Sarah...I’m sorry, baby....”
“Sorry?” she asked weakly.
“Jesus, I took you. Against the wall. In three minutes. And you still have your jacket on.”
She was quiet a moment. “That’s a relief. I thought I took you.”
“That, too. My God. Don’t move. That was... I can’t even describe that. It was... Jeez.”
“I’m getting a little uncomfortable.”
“Soon,” he said. He kissed her neck, then her lips. “Soon.” He kissed her again, with passion. “Ah, Sarah. I’m surprised I have legs. I’ve never...”
“Never? You certainly acted like you knew what you were doing. Come on, Cooper. I have to get down now. Please?”
He pulled his head back just slightly to look down at them. Her jacket hung off one shoulder, her sweater pushed up over her breasts, and she was naked from the waist down. His sweater was askew, his shirttails hanging out, and his pants drooped. He laughed. “We look like we just survived a hurricane.” He lifted her up a bit, let her drop her legs to the ground. But he kept his hands on her bare butt. “No coffee tonight, baby. Bed. We have to go to bed.”
She couldn’t help but laugh at him. “What if I don’t want to go to bed?”
“Then you’ll be getting real familiar with this wall.” He hoisted up his pants but didn’t bother zipping. Then he bent down, grabbed her jeans in one hand and scooped her up in his arms. He carried her up the three steps to his bedroom, putting her down on the bed. He helped her out of her jacket, removed his and said, “Don’t go anywhere. I’ll be right back.” And he left the room.
The bathroom was very close to the bedroom, of course. Everything was close to everything—it was a trailer. While he was in the bathroom, she yelled, “I’m feeling a little...exposed here.”
“Get under the covers,” he yelled back.
“I’m not sure I’m in the mood for that. What if I want coffee?”
He walked back into the room. Hands on his hips, jeans still unzipped, he loomed over her. He smiled at her. “You know what I realized about thirty seconds after opening the door tonight? You didn’t want coffee.” Then he pulled his sweater over his head.
“Now what?” she asked.
He reached for the hem of her sweater and pulled it off. “I want to hold you. And maybe try regular sex, if the spirit moves us.”
“What’s that?” she asked, automatically unhooking her bra and tossing it.
“You know,” he said, getting rid of his boots and pants. “The plain old regular but excellent kind, complete with foreplay, which we didn’t get to before. No danger of back injury or broken bones, but very good just the same.” He pulled the covers back and she twisted into them. He crawled in beside her and pulled her into his arms. “Although, what we just did...I think that was one of the best things I’ve ever done. Or one of the best things that’s ever been done to me. I don’t think there’s any way to top it.” He pulled her closer, kissed her cheek, running his big callused hand over her soft skin.
“I’m feeling a little unsure of myself,” she said, snuggling closer to him. “I’ve never done this before.”
“What? Vanilla sex?”
“Sex without any commitment at all. I mean, I’ve had plenty of sex, don’t get me wrong. Okay, not plenty...not that much, actually. But I always thought it was going somewhere. That there was love. Or something.”
“Well, don’t write me off so fast,” Cooper said. “Maybe in about an hour and a half, you’ll think you love me.”
“But I’m afraid of that—I don’t ever want to be in love again. I can’t get involved, you know that. For a hundred reasons. I’m vulnerable. I just got divorced. I have major responsibilities. But I’ve never even considered something like this before—sex with someone I like, but without any emotional investment.”
And, Cooper thought, that was the only kind he’d ever had. He was usually the one to say I can’t get involved. He’d had a lot of logical reasons, some like hers. He was being deployed or transferred, moving, just broke up with someone, you name it. There were a couple of times he had forgotten to say he couldn’t get involved and he’d ended up engaged, wondering what the hell had happened. But he’d never really been in love. Not even close. And here he was, suddenly wondering what that would feel like. Wondering what he’d been missing.
“I’m not sure I know what to do,” she said.
He ran his fingers through the short hair over her temple. “You don’t have to know anything, honey. You just have to be yourself, be honest, tell me what you need and let it happen naturally. I’m not going to try to trip you up.”
“You won’t have...expectations?”
He shook his head.
“You won’t use me for sex and then just turn your back on me? Suddenly?”
“Hey, I’m not a bad guy. We wouldn’t be together right now if we didn’t like each other. I never turn my back on a friend. No matter what.”
“I can trust you, then?”
“You can trust me.”
“You won’t be with other women while you’re with me? Because I’d have to kill you.”
“I wouldn’t do that. I might not be a settling-down kind of guy, but I’m definitely a one-woman-at-a-time kind of guy.”
“That’s all I want right now—to be the only woman with a guy who I like and who I trust. A friend. Oh, man, don’t ever let me have two glasses of wine again,” she said.
“You can’t blame the wine,” he said.
She tilted her head and smiled into his eyes. “You’re right. I’m just so tired of not having a friend. And because...well, that up-against-the-wall thing is one of the best things that ever happened to me.”
He smiled back, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “I’ll have to start lifting weights, so I’m sure to keep you happy.” Then his smile vanished and he kissed her. “Right now, I think we should try the old-fashioned kind—no trapeze, no props, no 6.8 difficulty.”
She slid her hand down his belly and found out what he was talking about. She closed her hand around him and his eyes rolled back in his head. He wanted her again. Bad.
* * *
Sarah wasn’t the first woman Cooper had been involved with who had kids. There hadn’t been many—and there’d never been one with a sixteen-year-old at home—but he didn’t have to be told how important it was that she set an example for Landon.
He pulled up in front of her house at eleven-thirty. Landon’s truck was already in the carport beside her SUV.
“Do I look like I just had a fattening dinner and a couple of hours of wonderful sex?” she asked him.
Cooper lifted her chin and turned her face to and fro. “If he doesn’t look into your eyes, you’re safe.”
“Swell.”
“If he recognizes that flush and glow, it’s time to have another one of those sex talks with him,” Cooper suggested.
“He says if I bring up safe and responsible sex one more time, he’s running away from home.”
Cooper laughed at her. “You’ll be fine.” He gave her a brief kiss. “Sweet dreams.”
He watched her go into the house before he drove away across the beach. The sand was hard packed close to the hill. There were a few people on the beach, sitting close to a campfire. He wasn’t sure if they were kids or adults—he didn’t see any all-terrain vehicles or motorcycles. But he wasn’t worried. In fact, it gave him a good feeling to have someone using the beach.
When he went inside the trailer, the first thing he noticed was her scent. He wasn’t sure if she’d left it behind or if it was still on his breath, his tongue. The place seemed oddly empty without her there.
He cracked open a beer and went to his bedroom, sitting on the rumpled sheets, flicking on the TV. But he didn’t watch. He thought about Sarah and the way her body felt beneath his hands, the way he felt inside her. Her laugh. Her sarcasm. That’s a relief. I thought I took you. Her sincerity and honesty. She wanted to have a relationship without strings, but didn’t really know how. Ha. He was so glad he hadn’t confessed that seemed to be the only kind he knew how to have.
He wanted her with him tonight, through the night. He’d wanted plenty of women, but there was something fresh about this time. It was new. It was deep. There wasn’t anything confusing about it—it was honest. He could already feel her hooks in him. He was an expert at not caring deeply, yet this time it wasn’t working for him. He wanted her in every way—physically, intellectually, emotionally. And she didn’t want him back in that way. In fact, she needed his help in remaining unattached.
“Shit,” he said aloud to no one. “I’m screwed.”
* * *
The last football game for Thunder Point High School was a home game and the night was mild and clear. The McCain contingent occupied their fifty yard line seats, but this time Sarah was included with Cooper and Gina had convinced her mom to come. Carrie was a huge supporter of the team, and good friends with Lou, but running a deli and catering service required that she be up by four in the morning for baking and cooking and it was rare that she stayed up past eight in the evening.
There was lots of laughter, chatter and cheering, but Gina was aware almost instantly that the relationship between Sarah and Cooper had grown more serious. At first it was just in the way he looked at her. It was as if the very sight of her made Cooper happy. While Sarah stared out at the field, watching her brother play, Cooper would throw a long glance her way and his lips would curve in a secret smile while his eyes got a little dreamy. And before long, Gina saw him reach for her hand, hold it, give it a squeeze.