I looked down at Sully, wondering if our voices slipped into his slumber. But his face remained lax, his tension still strained while comatose. “I did it because I wanted to know.”
“To know what fucking him would be like?” He snorted. “Shit, you’ve become like the rest of those poor brain-dead creatures he calls goddesses.”
I bared my teeth. “I might share similarities with them, but I have one thing they don’t have.”
Cal smirked. “Throwing my words back in my face, huh?”
“You told me that first morning when you took me to him that I’d made the biggest mistake by making him pay attention to me.” I spread my hands, not caring my breasts were on display, complete with chaffed nipples and bruises from Sully’s fingers. “But it wasn’t me who made him pay attention. It was both of us.” My voice lowered with strength. “I refused to let him sell me before he admitted that to himself—”
“Admitted what?”
I sighed. “Admitted that something happened between us…whether we wanted it or not.”
He scowled. “You’re just like Calico and the other girls who’ve tried to crawl into his bed. You want this island. You want his money. You think by screwing his brains out that you’ll have access to paradise forever. Unlike them, you were smart. You gave him no choice. You fucking raped the bastard by giving him elixir.”
I shot to my knees, uncaring that the sheet fluttered off my body. “How dare you. How dare you stand there and say I raped him when he’s been feeding that vile stuff to women for who knows how long. He drugs them, shoves them into a computer program, and then leaves them at the mercy of a man—”
“There’s a fucking difference.” His voice slithered with ice. “The men don’t get elixir for a reason, Jinx. They go into Euphoria only getting what the women want to give them. They try to keep up. They might even pop a Viagra beforehand if they’re old, but they don’t have the power, you do. You’re the ones who gag for it, the ones who drip to be filled.”
“How is that any different? A woman is given a drug to turn her into a mindless whore and a man turns into a humping monster. It’s the same—”
“It’s not the goddamn same.” Cal swooped closer, towering over me. “It’s not the same because Sully has paid the price for his control. He isn’t the cunt you think he is, and you’ve just done yet another worst possible thing because, sure you might have fucked until you’re both under some delusion it could mean more, but he will never allow it to become more because you went behind his back. You broke his precious trust. You proved that no one can be trusted. Especially you.”
Our fight hung in the air with lashing tails, animosity rife between us. I didn’t like Cal, and he didn’t like me. A competition had sprung between us. He saw me as a threat to his position as main confidant in Sully’s life. And I saw him as the blockade between me and Sully’s potential truce.
Either way, nasty fear hissed through my blood. Could he be right? Could whatever closeness Sully and I had felt be a fleeting, fragile thing because of what I’d done? But if I hadn’t done it, I’d be on a plane right now flying to become Roy Slater’s wife.
I had no choice!
You did have a choice.
You could’ve realised that your heart is a liar and an ignoramus.
You should’ve known that you’d be scrambled from being kidnaped, trapped, and used.
What if the emotions I felt toward Sully were terribly fake?
What if I’d fallen into the same pitfalls any other girl who’d been imprisoned by a mercurial man went through?
I fell for the monster…believing I could see the good inside him, when really…it could all be a lie.
My voice mimicked a whisper as I said, “I’m not like them. I am trustworthy…if he deserves it.”
Cal snorted. “Yeah, unbelievably trustworthy. First, you run away the moment his back is turned, and then, you drug him without his consent.” He rolled his eyes. “Way to prove your integrity.”
“Integrity!?” I hissed. “How about we talk about his integrity. Your integrity. You two live on this island and play puppet-master with real people. People who had a life before Sully stole—”
“Stop.” Cal’s hand shot up. “I’m done arguing with you.”
Goosebumps shot over my flesh as he raked a hand through his hair and visibly shed his anger. He sighed heavily. “Look, I didn’t come to harass you. I actually came to save you.” He half-smirked, and our fight faded, leaving just icy worry behind. “If you must know, I came to stop him. I figured if he hadn’t finished with you by now, then you’d probably be almost dead.” He shrugged, depositing the bag on the bed by my feet. “Turned out, I’m too late to be of any use.” He looked down at his liege and master, keeping his gaze on his face and not his ass. “What I don’t understand is why he’s out cold already. He’s fit. He’s been suffering a severe case of blue balls—”
“I think…” I hugged myself, accepting his armistice. “I think almost drowning interrupted the elixir’s potency.”
“The what now?” He flashed me a look. “He fucking drowned?” Marching around the bed, he fought the mosquito net until the gauzy material fluttered out of the way. Reaching for Sully, he checked his pulse. Concern coated his face. “Why didn’t you call me? His breathing sounds weird.”
I refused to be the bad guy for not calling for help. Yes, Sully most likely needed a doctor, but I wasn’t about to go traipsing around for one, especially with my own wounds and soreness.
And if I was honest, I’d been afraid that the moment reality intruded on our private paradise, everything we’d done would be over. That it wouldn’t exist anymore.
My shoulders slouched as I sat back on my heels and dragged the sheet over my lap. That one thought revealed just how feeble this plan had been. I’d been terrified of it being over because I already knew what would happen.
Cal is right.
Sully would never permit me to stay after what I’d done.
I’d just signed my own bill of sale by going behind his back and forcing a connection when he didn’t want one.
But he was familiar!
You recognised his body.
It was him in Euphoria.
It had to be.
I shook my head as Cal grabbed his cell phone and called for a doctor. My thoughts were in shreds, blended together with doubt and confusion.
I don’t know what to think anymore.
Exhaustion suddenly crushed me, begging me to rest. To close my eyes and forget about this whole sordid day. I needed to sleep, but I didn’t feel safe dropping my guard that much around Sully, even if he was unconscious.
Sleep was a precious thing. The most vulnerable a person could be. Sully slept beside me under false pretences. He’d never have been able to rest around me without elixir draining him of everything.
Unlike him, I’d kept my faculties while sleeping with him.
And now…I’m ready to go.
To lick my wounds in private and pretend the illusion of a door between us could keep me safe from whatever future he’d paved for me.