“She’s lovely,” I said softly, imagining owning such a magnificent animal.

“She is, I agree.” Kes never took his eyes off me. His words hovered between us, not entirely innocent. Something stronger than friendship emitted from him.

I had the insane urge to wrap my arms around Moth and use her as a crutch in this suddenly precarious position.

“Kestrel…”

He cleared his throat. “Sorry.”

We both stood awkwardly. I continued to stroke Moth and the yips of foxhounds in the kennel next door reminded me all over again of the first night I’d spent here and the kindness Squirrel had shown by licking my tears.

There was goodness in all of us. Human, equine…canine. We were all capable of good and bad. We were all redeemable—no matter what we did.

Kes rubbed his jaw. “You know…”

I looked up, waiting for him to continue. “Know what?” I prompted.

His gaze narrowed. He suddenly cleared his throat, shaking his head. “Eh, don’t worry about it.”

I frowned, scratching Moth around her ear, straining on tiptoes to reach. “Okay…”

A few seconds ticked past before he exploded. “You know what? Fuck it. It’s his fault he can’t bloody cope. I’m done with how he’s treated me and sick to fucking death of him reneging on everything we agreed.” He punched himself in the chest. “I was there for him from the beginning. I kept his bloody secrets. I deserve to know what the fuck is going on, but he’s cut me out.”

I froze. “What do you mean?”

Kes chuckled darkly. “It means, I’m done. That’s what. I’m sick of waiting for him to crawl back and apologise. I’m also sick of him threatening me to stay away from you—even though I know he’s ignoring you as much as me.”

What on earth happened between Kes and Jethro to warrant their relationship turning so sour?

He dragged a hand through his hair. “Jethro approached me after the polo game last month. He asked if I wanted a new horse.”

I gasped. “Oh, no! You can’t get rid of her.” I leaned into her, pressing my face against her neck. “She’s perfect. Don’t ever say such a thing.”

Kes smiled, patting the mare. “I know. She’s a great girl. She’s only eight years old, so she’s not going to the glue factory anytime soon.”

I grabbed Moth’s ears, squeezing tight. Speaking to the horse, I said, “Pretend you never heard of glue or factory. That will never happen to you. I won’t allow it.”

Even as I said it, I wanted to burst into insane tears. Moth would outlive me by decades. I was the one on the countdown to be put down, not her.

Unless Jethro figures out his plan.

Kes’s finger pressed against the underside of my chin, raising my eyes to his. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this, because it just makes him look good all over again, but…he wanted to get me a new horse, so you could have Moth.”

My heart stopped. “Me?”

He nodded. “He was going to give her to you the night after the Second Debt. But of course…” He trailed off, both of us aware what happened the next day.

Kes gritted his jaw. “And if I’m completely honest, I’m glad he didn’t have the chance to give her to you.” A cloud fell over his face, twisting his features with anger. “She’s my horse. I should be the one to give her away if I choose.”

I stroked his arm, hoping to reassure him that no one was taking his horse. And even if Jethro had given me Moth, I couldn’t have taken her because she already belonged to Kes. “Don’t worry, Kestrel. She’s yours. No one—”

“I want you to have her.”

The air solidified.

Moth huffed, nudging me as I stood mute.

I spluttered, “I—I can’t.”

Even as I said it, the thought of owning this incredible beast blistered my heart. To have something of my own, while surrounded by things that could never be—it would be…wonderful.

Kes clamped strong hands on my shoulders, staring deep into my eyes. “She’s yours. She responds to you more than she does with me. You’re meant to have her, Nila.”

Gratefulness and overwhelming amazement filled me. “I—I don’t know what to say.”

Kes smiled. “Say nothing. It’s already done.” Squeezing my shoulders, he stepped back. “You’re the proud new owner of a dapple grey by the name of Warriors Don’t Cry.” Patting Moth on the neck, he grinned. “I’ll find the pedigree papers later, so you can keep them safe, but for now…let’s go for a ride.”

My eyes bugged out of my head. “I’ve never been on a horse before.”

Not counting with Jethro when he carted me back on Wings, of course.

Kes ignored me, heading toward the tack room. “Doesn’t matter. I’ll show you.”

An hour later, I sat atop my first ever horse.

I’m freaking.

I’m terrified.

I’m beyond exhilarated.

I couldn’t remember the last time something affected me so piercingly.

Even Jethro?

Well, apart from him.

It seemed the older I grew and more jaded by life I became, the more I lost the heightened extremes of newness. No longer enjoying the catapulting happiness or devastating lowness. These days my highs and lows were more hills and valleys rather than mountains and chasms.