I sniffed back tears as Kes stood up and wrapped his arms around me. My breasts pressed against his chest.
His naked chest.
Goosebumps broke out all over.
My nipples are against his skin.
I moaned in despair as he cuddled me like any normal lover. “Don’t worry, Nila.”
I gasped, drowning all over again. “Please, Kestrel…please, don’t do this.”
Kes ran his hands through my hair, tugging on the elastic holding my bun in place. His touch was gentle but persistent. He managed to free the rope of hair, and, with tender fingers, fluffed out the thickness so it blanketed my shoulders and back.
I shivered, comforted somehow.
Ever since he’d secured the blindfold around my eyes, I’d been borderline catatonic. Every few seconds my heart threw in an extra beat, turning my internal balance into a gyroscope with no direction. But somehow, not seeing him kept my mind distanced.
I was free to float away—to leave my body and slip into the darkness of anonymity.
“Do everything I say and you’ll get through this.” His lips skated over my jaw. His touch was so different to Jethro’s—dominating and soft—but lacking sparkle, connection…love.
I arched my chin away from his mouth. “You’re asking me to obey you while you rape me?” A morbid laugh escaped.
Kes’s breath whispered over my exposed breasts. “Yes. It’s the only way.”
“Only way for what?”
My heartbeat boomed in my ears as he took my hand, guiding me from the pool of woollen trousers around the edge of the bed.
“Only way to make this work.”
I scowled behind my blindfold. Make what work?
The debts?
His twisted fantasy?
I hated moving around naked. I hated him seeing me.
My skin pinpricked with nervous sweat; I was lightheaded with panic. And that was just with Kestrel. He didn’t scare me nearly as much as Daniel or Cut.
If I couldn’t survive this, how would I survive the other two?
Another moan echoed in my chest. This couldn’t happen. It was the worst nightmare imaginable. Three men. Three rapes.
And Jethro. Where the hell was he? Why wasn’t he here to oversee what his family would do? What would he claim once everything had been taken from me?
My heart?
He lost that the moment he made me consent to this god-awful condemnation.
Kes kissed my cheek, pushing me so I fell onto the bed. The mattress sprung beneath me, cushioned and fresh. I winced as I bounced against my tied wrists.
“I’m going to place you in the centre.” His strong arms caught me, manhandling me until I was where he wanted. His every touch caused my skin to crawl. My stomach rolled as I kept my legs pinned together.
I lay in the middle of the mattress like a corpse riddled with rigor mortis.
Kissing my shoulder, Kes climbed beside me. The heat of his naked thigh brushed mine; something heavy and hard nudged my hip.
Oh, God!
“I’m going to place you on your stomach.” His voice was soothing; his words were definitely not.
I bucked as he tried to flip me over. “No! I can’t—not that!”
He stroked my side, his fingers way too close to my breast. “It’s okay. Don’t worry. Just roll over for me.” He pressed me harder.
“No!”
He wants to steal your anal virginity.
Horror possessed me. I kicked and wriggled. I was no longer an atrophied skeleton but a furious unwilling victim. My hands remained tethered behind my back, but it didn’t stop me from doing my damnedest to hurt him. “Don’t! Don’t touch me!”
“Shush.” He placed a harsh kiss on my shoulder blade. “Obey me. Do what I say, Nila. I’ll make it feel good, I promise.”
“I’ll never obey you. Never!” I fumbled with the sheets, wishing I could see. I wanted to bite him, knee him in the balls.
“Goddammit.” Grabbing my hip, he flipped me over with a burst of power.
I cried out as he jerked the pillow away from my mouth, pressing my cheek against the mattress. My breasts flattened and tears spurted from my eyes. “How can you do this to me?” My mind filled with his kindness teaching me how to tend to Moth. How could he be two totally different people?
“No more questions. Alright?” His voice was short with frustration. “Just—for once—let a man fucking control you.”
That was the last straw.
“What did you just say?” I arched off the bed. “Let a man control me?” Hysteria took hold. “I’ve been controlled all my life by every man I’ve ever met! How dare you say that? How dare you!” I couldn’t stop tears cascading down my face, drenching the bed below.
Kes grunted as I squirmed harder.
I couldn’t move beneath his weight. His heat warmed me like an unwanted sun. I hated him.
Fisting my hair, he pressed my face into the bed. “Listen to me and pay attention. Behave. Don’t fight me. Don’t make Cut believe I can’t control you or it’ll encourage him to fucking participate. Don’t make this worse for yourself.” Letting me breathe, he hissed, “Don’t believe in the evil of everyone you meet. You'd be surprised just how wrong you’d be.”
I froze.
Silence reigned while we both breathed hard.
Slowly, his grip on my hair loosened. “Now…will you be more reasonable?”
I laughed coldly, sucking in cotton from the sheets. “Reasonable? You’re asking the trussed-up girl if she’ll be more reasonable? You’re as insane as your damn brother.”