I wanted to be whole. I wanted to be happy.

Leather Jacket grabbed a handful of my hair, tugging hard. The burn in my scalp sent bugs and beetles, residual from the drugs, skittering over my skin. Their feelers and creepy-crawly legs welcomed me back into the muck I’d lived in.

It wasn’t often I craved another hit. I hated drugs—but in that moment I would’ve willingly traded anything for the smoggy numbness.

Whatever Q gave me wasn’t enough. He’d pushed me overboard, letting me sink into my twisted mind, but it was too twisted—I would never be able to untangle the mess.

Give in. Give up.

“Please! Just let me go.” I hated my weak confusion.

Leather Jacket shoved me, making me spin and dangle from the rope. Catching me after a circulation, he dragged me against his foul stench. “You’re mine again. All mine. I’m never letting you go.” He kissed my cheek, evil black eyes glowing. “We’re equals, you and I. And I’m about to f**king show you.”

Suddenly the blindfold was torn off. Q shattered the vision of Leather Jacket.

I sobbed, seeing him so clearly, even while a waterfall of gunk contaminated my mind. I hated drugs. Hated them! Hated what I became when I took them.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

“Ah, Tess. You’re leaving me. But only for a little while.” Leaning forward, Q captured my mouth in a gentle kiss. His lips were soft and sweet and perfectly Q. He didn’t kiss deeply, or request access with his tongue. He just fed me strength—strength I sorely needed.

For one precious moment, I didn’t need to fight. I knew who I was. I knew why I had to give in. We shared our love even while we acknowledged for the next few hours I would hate him.

There would be tears. There would be screams. There would be facing demons and a past that might ruin us. But if we survived, we would be unconquerable.

“Je t’aime,” Q murmured, pulling away.

The curtain slammed down, shoving me face first into the cloying ink. It wasn’t a matter of giving in—the drugs were the master now.

The transition from sweet lover to controlling diabolical trafficker happened in a blink. Q, with his gorgeous jade eyes, disappeared. Leather Jacket took centre stage, revelling in his ownership.

He grinned, shedding his jacket and cracking his fingers as if he had a monstrous task before him. His eyes were flat and cold. “Told you, you were mine, puta.” Stalking forward, he dragged a finger down my exposed cle**age. “Our first exercise is to clean you. You’re f**king filthy.”

I swallowed my fear, heart hammering. Please say shower. Please say shower.

Leather Jacket’s mouth twisted into a horrendous smile. “It’s time for your bath.”

The last drip snuffed out my light, transporting me back to Rio, to Mexico, to nightmares.

Chapter Six

Intertwined, tangled, knotted forever, our souls will always be twisted together,

our demons, our monsters belong to the other,

Bow to me, I bow to thee, now we are free

What the f**k am I doing?

I had no f**king idea. This wasn’t right. It couldn’t be right. Nothing about drugging and mentally torturing a woman who’d been through so much was right.

It was a stupid idea—moronic to think I could walk her through the past and replace the memories. I ought to be f**king shot. I’m an idiot.

Tess’s eyes were vacant, staring right into mine, but not seeing me. Not anymore. Her lips parted, breathing hard with whatever hallucinations whispered in her ear.

This was worse than the f**king nightmares. This was induced by me. For the next couple of hours I had to shed everything I’d fought so hard and become her worst fears. I had to become the man I’d sworn never to be.

I glared at Tess, hanging and bound. The dressing gown gaped wide, showing her perfect body and luscious br**sts. She was sent to make me sin. All my life I’d abstained from my true nature but then cruel fate gave me her.

My hands clenched, unable to deny the billowing blackness settling over me. Creeping from ignorable to f**king intolerable. Each moment I let myself continue this charade, the light inside blotted out until I no longer recognised myself.

The only thing protecting Tess from my snarling scream-thirsty beast was love.

Unconditional love—miraculously keeping me on a leash. She owned my heart and soul. That was the only safeguard preventing me from not giving a shit anymore and diving head first into debauchery.

No one would know….Something slithered in my brain, whispering sickness and want.

She dangled like a feast—surrounded in darkness, drugged out of her mind. I could do anything….

My stomach tensed as desire shot up my spine. It would be so easy to mount and f**k her while hanging from the ceiling. I could be cruel and heartless. I could hurt her the way I wanted with no repercussions. She would never know it was me.

You’d be him. You’d walk straight into fate.

My lips curled; I spat on the floor as a rush of bile filled my mouth. To ever think I was weak enough to become my father made me suicidal with rage.

I would never do that to Tess. No matter how my sick c**k ached.

Locking my knees, I made an oath. A pact with my f**king soul.

Whatever I did here, I would never overstep two boundaries: rape or blood play. If Tess ever became strong enough to endure my needs, completely sane and willing, then I’d give myself some leniency. But not before and definitely not with an unhinged druggie I was trying to save.

Tess’s dilated eyes trained on me, never looking away, despite the haze. “Why—why are you doing this? He’ll come for you again, you know.” Her head dropped as if suddenly too heavy, the drugs sucking her deeper.

I shuddered at the thought of what she’d been through—what I was putting her through once again.

I knew she didn’t see me. She saw them.

The drug did what Franco had said. I’d asked him to find something—a hallucinogenic that lasted a couple of hours. He’d disappeared, returning a little while later with a single yellow pill.

I didn’t know the name of the chemical or even where he got it from. And I fed it to the woman I wanted to grow old with. How f**king irresponsible!

My jaw worked hard, grinding my teeth, flaring a rapidly building headache. I’d fed it to her because I made the choice. A choice I already f**king regretted. But it was done now. The only thing left to do was suffer the consequences.