Feeling like I’d seen something intimate I shouldn’t have, I backed away and slipped out the door. Drawing on the power of the earth once more, I raced to the center of the Rim. I wove my way, deliberately backtracking and changing direction several times.
Just in case more than one person was watching me.
I reached the Enders Barracks when the sun hung mid-sky, beating down on my head as it burned off the last of the morning fog.
Stepping inside the building that had so quickly and naturally become my refuge, I took a deep breath. The smell of leather, oil, and sweat permeated the air. My room was through the main exercise area, and near the far end of the sleeping quarters. I hurried there, wanting nothing more than the quiet of my own space. Once inside my room, I leaned against the door and finally let the task ahead of me crash down.
Finding my father would be an arduous process. I had to nail down a Tracker first, and from what I understood, they could be tricky and temperamental on the best of days. Then I had to persuade the Tracker to help me. Then convince my father to come home.
But worst of all . . . once he was home, I needed to make my father see that not only did he need to name an heir . . . for the sake of our family, he needed to step down as king.
The final topper? I was afraid to see him again. To have him tell me once more how useless I was. That I was the mistake he regretted more than any other. I put a hand over my eyes.
A task I had to do out of duty.
A task I dreaded with all my heart and soul.
I leaned my head against the door. “Mother goddess, help me not screw this up.”
CHAPTER 3
A knock on my door snapped me out of my half-hearted prayer. I turned and opened the door. Honey gold eyes locked on mine, and my tongue seemed to tangle on his name. “Ash.”
“Lark, we need to talk about you going after your father.” His eyes softened with concern. For me. My heart warmed more than a few degrees.
“Do you have an idea of where he might have gone?” I stepped back so he could come into my tiny room. I could have lain down twice in either direction, which gave me room for a small bed, desk, and chair, and that was it. I sat on the bed.
Ash didn’t sit. He tucked one thumb into the edge of his belt and ran the other hand through his short blond hair. “I don’t think you should be going after him.”
“What?” That was not what I’d expected—at least not from him. Cactus maybe, or even Niah. But not Ash. As an Ender, he had taken vows to protect and obey the king at all costs.
Somehow those vows had slipped by me during my Ender testing, but I tried not to worry too much.
“Your father left of his own accord, Lark. The Rim guards reported he spoke to several of them. Told them he needed to clear his head and think about his next step in dealing with those who would try to steal his throne.”
I gripped the edge of the bed, the mattress creaking. “And did he give names of those he was concerned about usurping him?”
“Your name came up. So did Raven’s and Belladonna’s.”
“So now, of course, this information is all over the Rim because the damn guards gossip like a bunch of old ladies,” I snapped.
He shrugged. “Like always, some things never change.” His eyes softened. “Lark, he wanted to leave. No one forced him.”
“You don’t know that,” I said. “The power of Spirit is tricky. Cassava—”
“No longer has the ring. And it’s still hidden, right?”
I nodded. He was right, Cassava didn’t control Spirit anymore. That didn’t mean we were out of the woods in that respect. “Blackbird could have done it.”
“But why? You’re grasping, Lark. I know you don’t want to believe ill of your father. He is my king, I don’t want to think he’d abandon us. But it’s obvious he has.”
“Then we need to get him back. We need him to take his place and name his heir.”
Ash cleared his throat and looked at his feet. A pit grew in the center of my belly and spread outward with fear.
“Mother goddess, tell me he didn’t name someone before he left. Or if he did, that it was Bella.”
“Documents were brought to me this morning . . . they look like your father’s handwriting.”
“Who did he name?” Bella, Raven, or even Briar would be reasonable.
Ash shook his head as he spoke. “He named your eldest brother, Vetch.”
Whatever hope I’d held out for my father’s mind disintegrated. Vetch was Cassava’s son through and through. There was no doubt in my mind she was behind this. The only choice I had now was to bring my father home so we could keep Vetch off the throne as long as possible.
“Even more reason for me to go. That has to be wrong.” I refused to believe my father was working within all his capacities if he had named Vetch as heir.
Ash crouched in front of me and placed a hand on each of my thighs. “We can weather this storm, Lark. We’ve managed well until now. This is another squall we need to hunker down and ride out.” His hands warmed my legs through my pants as he squeezed my thighs gently.
“I don’t want to lose you, Lark. I feel like this time we might not make it if you leave. If you go after your father—”
“Don’t say that,” I whispered, finding myself leaning toward him. He took a crouched step closer so my legs were on either side of him and he could slide his hands around my waist.
“Your father would not look for you, Lark, and I cannot bear the thought of him taking another piece of your heart and smashing it in front of you.” His hands slid up my back to my shoulders and then down again.