No. I would not regret Ash. But I couldn’t stop the guilt that cascaded through me. I couldn’t tell Cactus. Not yet. Maybe not ever, if I wanted to remain friends with him.

But it wasn’t fair to string him along either.

Still, I knew I wasn’t ready to let him go.

“Get your clothes on!” I threw Ash’s pants at him.

He laughed and shook his head. “You think I don’t know you have feelings for Cactus? I would share you, if you asked it of me. But he won’t, Larkspur. We both know that. He has too much Salamander in him. Jealous bastards that they are.”

I pulled the last of my clothes on and turned my back as he laughed softly. There wasn’t an ounce of meanness in it. That wasn’t his way. He didn’t hide once he’d set his mind on something.

In this case, he’d clearly set his mind and heart on me. I jerked the door open. Peta sat on her haunches in her housecat form and stared up at me with large, too-innocent green eyes.

“Have fun?”

Heat flushed my face. “How much do you sense when I . . .” I waved my hand behind me to encompass the bedroom and a still-lounging Ash.

“Enough to know not to find you right away. I’ve been through this a time or two, Lark. Trust me to know what I’m doing.” She trotted away. “Perhaps you should follow me, Dirt Girl.”

I took her advice and hurried after the twitching white tip of her tail as she led the way back into the main hall where the training room was situated. In the minute it took to get there, I calmed myself.

I’d done nothing wrong. I’d never promised Cactus anything.

As I stepped into the main room, the door across from me swung open, and Cactus strode in. Whatever calm I’d gathered fled. My heart did a funny little jump followed by a spurt of guilt.

“Lark, you should have come and woken me.” He grinned, his bright green eyes glittering with good humor. We’d been back in the Rim for only a few days, but already he’d gained strength and health. He jogged toward me, grabbed my hand and lifted it to his mouth, kissing the back of it.

“Mmm. A bit sweaty. Been working out already?” He lifted his eyes to mine and I jerked my hand away. A rush of heat climbed my neck and I fought to get my emotions under control. I did not want to hurt him. He had been my best friend when we were children, and he’d helped me both times I had to enter the Pit as an adult even though it had been years since I’d seen him last.

Peta put herself between us, her tail twitching spastically. “What do you want, Cactus? Lark is an Ender and has duties that have nothing to do with you.”

He crouched and ran a hand backward along her fur, messing it up in a single swoosh. “Easy, Peta. I want to see if I can help find her father.”

She swatted at him, hissing a word that made my eyes pop.

“You two knock it off.” I bent and scooped Peta up, and placed her on my shoulder. “I’m going to see Bella, then I’m leaving the Rim.” The words slid out of me. As always, the timing seemed to be against me.

“That’s your decision?” Ash said behind us. His voice ghosted over my skin, bringing a rather delicious shiver of remembered pleasure. I held my ground, afraid if I turned he would be naked still. Cactus looked past me, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly.

“You think you can make her stay?”

“I’m trying. Her father is not the king he once was. I don’t believe he is worth the danger she would put herself in by going after him. I think you would agree, Cactus. Her life is more important than his.” Ash drew closer as he spoke, his voice gaining in increments.

Cactus straightened. “I’ll support her in whatever decision she makes. I always have.”

Before they could say anything else, I strode forward, putting distance between both men and myself. Peta gripped my vest to keep her balance. Her words, though, surprised me. “To think they both love you like that. A blessing, I should say.”

“Easy for you to say. You aren’t the one stuck between them.”

She laughed. “True enough. True enough. But can you imagine that fun if you could convince them to share you?”

My lips twitched and I let the sad smile spread over them, knowing it for the dream it was. “All too easily.”

CHAPTER 4

I left the men behind, and went looking for Bella.

“Who listened in on us at the blasted field?”

Peta shivered. “A Rim guard.”

“And?”

“I lost him in a crush of people. He was wearing a helmet. I never saw his face, but he was missing a hand.”

Coal. My ex-lover was the only one I knew who was missing a hand, and he was a Rim guard. Why had he been spying on me?

“That’s Coal.” I rubbed the back of my neck. Damn. It was possible he’d been manipulated by Blackbird. Coal had been one of Cassava’s pawns too.

“You’re sure?”

“He was my lover. I took his hand, and now he’s struggling to live without it. If we have time we’ll talk to him.”

I didn’t want to talk to Coal, though. The last time I’d seen him things had gotten ugly between us. His mind was not stable, a side effect of losing his hand.

As we walked, I told Peta about Cassava and the things she’d done. How she controlled everyone using the Spirit gemstone, how she killed my mother and baby brother, Bramley, and how in the end, I’d fought her and saved our family from the lung burrowers.