So I text again. This is cool. Can’t wait.

And I can’t. Sutton seems like such an awesome person and she’s already been invaluable for career advice. I didn’t get to talk to Olivia that much at the game, but she seemed really nice.

Sutton immediately texts me back: It’s a date. We’ll be there about six P.M.

Excitement courses through me at the prospect of adult conversation tomorrow. I’ve come to love Ben a great deal in the past few weeks, but sometimes you just need to leave the three-year-old talk behind or else you’ll go bananas.

I shoot a quick text back. C U then.

Done!

I’ve got my first “girls night” ever in my life and I think I’ll even wear my outfit that I wore to the hockey game. Sutton and Olivia are not only beautiful, but sophisticated in a way that I’m not. For the first time in my entire life, I feel a sense of shame over the way in which I present myself.

No, wait. That’s not right. More like disappointment. Or regret.

It’s a feeling I have that maybe I’ve wasted time in being untrue to my nature, spending years hiding myself, and I’m finding out it’s tough trying to spread your wings and try something different.

So, in order to turn over a new leaf and stop wasting time, I’m going to wear my new outfit and see what they say. They’ve both seen me at my frumpy worst. I wonder if they’ll be as shocked as Zack was when he saw me.

Regardless, I vow to myself that I’m going to take a little money from each paycheck and buy myself one new article of clothing to start building up a new wardrobe. It will be slow going, and I’ll still have to supplement from thrift or consignment, but it will be worth it. And the other thing I vow: that even when I shop thrift, I’m going to actually buy clothes that fit and flatter, not conceal and hide.

Kate Francis is in the process of being reborn.

Chapter 17

Zack

It’s been a good road trip. We swept both the L.A. teams, the Demons and the Dragons, and yours truly got a goal in one game and nothing in the other, but I was pleased with my performance. Coming off a hat trick not that long ago, there are just going to be some games where I’m not seeming like a superhero.

Yeah…damn good road trip. The team is playing fantastic, we’ve secured the top spot in our division and have a good battle with Pittsburgh going on for first place in our conference. All the guys get more excited as the days roll on for the playoffs to get here. We’re on fire and we’re ready to show the world what we can do to win Lord Stanley.

And while it’s been a great trip and being back in the lineup is really helping me get back into the swing of life, I’ve been anxiously awaiting the plane trip home tomorrow morning. It’s hard being away from Ben like this, especially after having been with him continuously for four months. It makes my chest ache when I think about him.

I’m also anxious to get back and see Kate.

Correction…fuck Kate. That’s all I want.

I tell myself that over and over and over again until it sticks.

We had one night together and then I was on a plane the next day, heading to California. One very amazing night that I’ve been replaying in my mind over and over again.

I didn’t stay in Kate’s room after we had our very frank discussion about expectations. I thought I’d probably fuck her again, but honest to God…I was so depleted from that orgasm that I wanted nothing more than to go to sleep.

Of course, that was not going to be done in Kate’s room. I wasn’t about to sleep with her all night, because that was far too intimate. I also didn’t want to be found in there if Ben needed one of us. I wasn’t now nor would I ever be ready to have a conversation with Ben as to why I was sleeping in Kate’s bed. So I gave her a soft kiss, told her how much I enjoyed it, and left.

The next day was business as usual, Kate chattering over breakfast and keeping Ben occupied while I got packed up for the trip. I gave Ben a huge hug, burying my nose in his hair and loath to let him go. I gave Kate a quick smile and then I was gone.

And now I couldn’t wait to get back. I’d have only a day and a half in Raleigh, and I intended to spend every bit of it with Ben before I had to head out for a two-game trip to New York. And I’d spend some time with Kate in her bed after Ben went to sleep. That was for damned sure.

Patting my back pocket to check that I have my wallet, I leave my hotel room, locking the door behind me. The game today against the Dragons was an afternoon game and most of the guys have gone out for a night of partying. Alex and Garrett tried to get me to go out with them, but I just didn’t feel like it. I was looking forward to a quiet dinner, a long Facetime session with Ben before he went to bed, and then going to bed myself, where I may or may not fantasize about Kate and jerk off to the memories I’ve made with her so far.

I catch a quick elevator down to the lobby and head through it, straight to the hotel’s restaurant. I don’t even feel like trying to go out somewhere to eat. As I approach the hostess stand, I see Ryker sitting at the bar just behind her. Before the hostess can even greet me, I say, “I see a friend in there. I’m just going to eat at the bar.”

“Enjoy your meal, sir,” she says with a smile.

I walk to the bar, figuring conversation with Ryker will be much better than eating alone. This road trip is his first time suiting up with the team. He didn’t play, of course, and won’t see much ice time unless Max has a tough back-to-back schedule or gets injured. I’d sat with him on the plane trip out here and he seems pretty cool. We didn’t talk much and slept most of the way, but in what little we talked about hockey, I found him to be gracious about his descent from top starter with the Eagles to backup goalie with the Cold Fury. He knows his career is coming to an end and he’s just trying to squeeze another year or two out until retirement.