Ethan told me later that car had been Evelyn’s, Jesse’s mother’s.

That same Jesse was with me right now.

Uneasiness prickled down my back, but he wouldn’t hurt me. Jesse never hurt me. He’d react around me, but never at me.

“Why are you asking questions about Sarah, Alex?” He glared at me over his glass. His eyes were dark and stormy. A shiver went down my back, but not a bad one. As my lungs filled, I needed to be there. I couldn’t be anywhere else. I didn’t know what was going to happen, but I wanted it. I needed it.

I tipped my head back and drank the last of my alcohol in one swallow. My tolerance was still low, but I learned some skill over the last year. I pushed it towards him across the counter again.

He didn’t move to refill it.

“I want another one.”

“Why are you asking questions about Sarah, Alexandra?” He didn’t move from the wall.

“Jesse, come on.”

“You come on. Answer my question.”

“Answer mine first.”

“I did.” But he frowned back into his glass. He hadn’t. He knew I knew he hadn’t.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Right, because it’s getting too serious makes perfect sense,” I bit out. “I’m a year younger, but I’m not an idiot. I know you, Jesse. You dumped her when we were at the hospital. She called to ask if you wanted her there and you said to get out of your life for good. Then you hung up. Real classy for a boyfriend. Three years and that’s how you break up with her.”

He glowered at me. “Shut up.”

“No. I think she deserves an explanation. I would. I mean, really. Three years and that’s all you said? I know you haven’t talked to her since. You blocked her number.”

He frowned.

I answered his unspoken question, “I watched you do it. I could tell what you’re doing. I’m not stupid.”

“You could tell?” His eyes narrowed to slits and he put his glass on the counter. Two steps from the wall and he was against the counter. “You can tell what I’m doing?”

I swallowed thickly. I had been able to tell, but this Jesse was new to me. He was predatory and scary. A second shiver went down my spine. He wasn’t scary in a bad way, but in a good way, an all-together scary form of a good way. I licked my lips as he stalked around the counter.

My heart began pounding and I opened my legs a little. I knew what he was going to do before he did it. I think I had always known.

You wanted this the whole time, even back at the church. You little hussy.

I flinched at the voice in my head. Was I really going to do this? I was a virgin, but this was Jesse. And this was me. And I had wanted him for so long.

He reached me and slid his hands under my legs. They went all the way under my cheeks and he moved between my legs. He didn’t even need to nudge them aside. I opened them. I was eager about it. As he bent over me, his lips came down, my heart wanted to explode out of me.

So long.

I had waited for this for so long.

I licked my lips, but he didn’t press his to mine. I wanted him to, badly. As he hung there, suspended in the air, I murmured, “Jesse.”

“Can you tell what I’m doing now?”

My arms lifted and I wound them around his neck. I was the one that pulled him closer against me. He fit there perfectly and I lifted my legs to lock behind his waist. One of his hands fell to my thigh. He burned a trail over my skin as he slid his hand to my core. He was slow and purposeful. He watched me the entire time, judging and measuring me.

My lips brushed against his as I said, “I knew before we came up here.”

His chest lifted and he sucked in a deep breath. “Are you sure about this, Alex?”

I nodded. I couldn’t talk. I needed this too much. Or I needed him. I wasn’t sure, but as he lowered his lips to mine—finally—I gave him everything. I wanted to forget everything. There was no brother. There were no parents. There were no friends. There was no loss or mourning or grieving. No sadness. Only heat. That was all there was between us. Even the pain that occurred was minimal to what I’d felt for the last three days.

That night I gave myself to him. I just didn’t know the extent of it until later.

CHAPTER ONE

Two years and two months later

When I went to Jesse’s house, I wasn’t expecting to find a naked chick on his couch. I knew it was his house. As I walked in, there was a giant portrait of him and my brother in the foyer. He must’ve had someone paint it from a picture at some party. Both wore easygoing grins and their affection was obvious. They were happy. Ethan was happy. It stopped me in my tracks, but I pushed it down. I couldn’t handle that. Nope. Rage. Rage was my friend right now, and the girl who was straddling Jesse on the couch was going to be a recipient of my rage.

A head of black hair sat underneath her, and he moved to kiss up the girl’s neck. As she leaned back with her eyes closed, his hand lifted to cup her breast. A moan slipped from her as he ran his thumb over it. As she gasped, her eyes opened a slit. It was enough. She saw me and horror flashed over her. She belted out a scream and scrambled off Jesse’s lap to the couch.

“What the fuuu-?” Jesse whipped off the couch and whirled around. His face was contorted in fury, but then shock stopped him.

It stopped me as well.

That wasn’t Jesse.

I clamped a hand over my eyes and turned away. “I’m so, so, so, so sorry, Cord. Oh my gawd. I’m really sorry.” Muttering more curses, I tried to run from the room but smacked into a wall.