We glared at each other for a long moment before I finally broke. “Oh, very well. But you have to promise not to tell anyone. Especially Talin.”
* * *
Zadie and I had talked for over an hour, and by the end of our conversation, we were both in tears. But we had a plan, and, admittedly, it was a better one than mine had been. Still, Zadie made me swear to tell Talin that I was going to see Ceren, and because she didn’t trust me, she arranged the meeting herself.
The library was as deserted as the rest of the castle, the furniture covered in dust sheets, the leather book bindings cracked and dry. I ran my fingers over the spines absently, my mind too focused on what I’d say to Talin to appreciate the titles. A clock chimed ten times somewhere, and I began to fear he wouldn’t come. I paced the length of the room, worrying at my lip with my teeth.
“I thought I told you to be gentle with that lip,” Talin said from the doorway.
I grinned at the memory of our time on the road together, before I’d left New Castle. We hadn’t kissed yet, but we were both anticipating it. I’d been anxious about finding Sami at the port market, but Talin knew who I really was, and though there were still many secrets between us, I had trusted him.
He approached me slowly. He had shaved again for the first time in days, and his hair had been properly washed and combed.
My stomach fluttered, as if we really had gone back in time and were near-strangers to each other. In some ways, we still were. There were so many years of memories we hadn’t shared, all the experiences that had formed us as people before we met. How could I expect him to make any decisions based on my desires when we’d known each other for such a short time?
“I was told to meet my men in the library,” he said, gently folding a cloth covering one of the couches to keep the dust from flying. He gestured for me to sit. “But I’m afraid I see only you.”
“Afraid?”
He sat down on the sofa, leaving enough room for another person between us, and fixed me with a meaningful gaze. I had to force myself not to fiddle with the lace at my cuffs. It was absurd how nervous I felt, when Talin and I had been through so much together. But in the past week, a distance had grown between us that wasn’t just physical.
He smiled and moved closer to me. “I could never be afraid of you. What did you want to talk with me about?”
“You’re still planning to attack New Castle, I take it?”
He took my hand. “I know it isn’t what you want to hear, but this is the way it has to be.”
“What if it isn’t?”
His eyes searched mine. “What do you mean?”
I wrestled with telling him my plan. I didn’t want to cause a fight with him, not when I might fail and Talin could end up going to battle anyway. If something happened to him and his last memory of me was an unhappy one...
He brought my knuckles to his lips and brushed a kiss against them, the faked formality gone. “Please don’t worry, Nor. Everything will be fine. I’ll make sure your family is safe.”
Reluctantly, I pulled my hand away. “I want to negotiate with Ceren. I already spoke with your mother, and she agreed.” I didn’t tell him what her terms had been. That would only hurt him.
He shook his head, but I held up my hand before he could speak. “I’m not asking for permission, Talin. I’m only telling you because I didn’t want to do this behind your back.”
“I can’t believe my mother would agree to this,” he said, rising. “She must know how I feel about you—and how important your safety is to me.”
“I think she does. But our relationship is not her priority, and it can’t be ours, either,” I added softly.
Hurt washed over his features. “What are you saying?”
“I’m only saying that until all of this is over, we can’t keep putting our concern for each other above everything and everyone else.” I stood up and took his hands. “I’m only going to talk to him, Talin. With an armed escort.”
He gazed down at me, his expression vacillating between frustration and pride. “I’m not going to change your mind about this, am I?”
I shook my head. “No.”
He pressed his forehead to mine. “Let me at least come with you.”
I only hesitated for a moment. “All right.”
He tilted his head until our lips met, and for a moment I forgot about Ceren and Talia, about my parents and the battle ahead. Every mingled breath, each brush of his fingers, felt like an oath. I was his, and he was mine, and nothing was going to change that.
“There you are.”
I turned my head to hide my flaming cheeks as Talia entered the library. To my surprise, Talin didn’t disentangle himself completely.
“Were you looking for me, Mother?”
“You said you were meeting your captain. Unless he’s altered his appearance drastically since yesterday, I must assume you were lying.”
Her tone was cold, but Talin smiled. “I thought I was meeting my captain. Nor’s presence was a very welcome surprise.”
Talia’s voice softened. “Of course, my son. I remember what it was like to be young. But you’re a general. Your council is waiting for you.”
“I’ll be there in a few minutes. My council can wait.”
I felt a brief surge of hope. Talin wouldn’t cast me aside just because his mother wanted him to. Perhaps that meant there was hope he wouldn’t let her dictate how this war went.
Talin’s hand squeezed mine for one second before his fingers fell away. “I’ll tell Mother the plan.”
I nodded and watched him go, but Talia’s green eyes were focused on me as she followed him from the room. She smiled, but there was a warning in her gaze as venomous as a sea snake’s. Do not come between us, it said. Or there will be consequences.
* * *
The next morning, I dressed in my riding leathers and went directly to the stables. A groom had already saddled Titania, and Talin was there with a dozen trained and well-armed soldiers. I was relieved to see his mother wasn’t joining us.
Talin handed me a white flag. “Raise this as soon as we reach the field. We sent a messenger last night. Since he returned unharmed, I’m reasonably confident Ceren will obey the rules of warfare. Perhaps you’re right, and he’ll agree to some sort of truce. I hope so, anyway.”
I mounted Titania, then followed the soldiers out of the stables. The drawbridge was lowered to let us out, and Titania’s hooves clomped over the wood onto the road. A moment after we’d crossed, I heard the creaking of wheels as the bridge was drawn up behind us.