I lost myself to him and to myself; to trust and to faith; and in that moment I was fearless.

Epilogue

Quinn, four months later-

When I walked into the luxury plumbing fixture store on West Lake Street, I was immediately struck by the fact that they had rows of toilets hanging on the walls. The floor was plain cement. The walls were ordinary red brick. Covering the floor and walls was an array of sinks, tubs, faucets, and toilets. The space was large but felt small due to the substantial array of bathroom fixtures.

Automatically I did a sweep of the store, located exits, sized up the other customers, and so forth. Habits come naturally. Once comfortable, I walked to Elizabeth; she was about forty feet away, studying a row of faucets on the wall.

She didn’t look up when I approached but merely tipped her head in my direction as a greeting, “McHotpants.”

“Elizabeth.” I rubbed the back of my neck. I didn’t mind the nickname when Janie used it. But it just didn’t seem right with her friends, particularly Elizabeth. I hoped that today’s meeting would improve our strained interactions. “Thank you for meeting me.”

Elizabeth shrugged, “No problem. Anything for Janie. She said she’d meet us here at six.” She reached out and twisted the knobs on a faucet.

If Janie was going to arrive at six then that meant I only had a half hour to work through whatever issues Elizabeth obviously had with me dating Janie. I waited for Elizabeth to look up but instead she frowned at the metal spigot and walked further into the store.

I scowled at her, trying not to grind my teeth. “Why did you want to meet here?”

“I want a new faucet.”

“What’s wrong with the faucet in the apartment?”

“I don’t like it.”

With a great deal of effort I managed to keep from rolling my eyes, “Ok.”

She fiddled with another series of levers, “Ok? So you’re ok with me changing the sink?”

I glanced around the store again, counting three more people I’d missed in my first sweep of the space; “Elizabeth, you can remodel the bathroom if you want, I don’t care.”

“And you’ll pay for it?”

“Sure, whatever. Whatever you want.”

She looked at me then. Her pale blue eyes narrowed and she inspected me, like I was a disease.

Since we met some four months ago, I had felt at cross purposes with Elizabeth. She was irritable every time I was alone in a room with her. Just last week, the last time Janie and I had spent the night at their place, Elizabeth made passive aggressive remarks about my inability to make a good cup of coffee.

I knew how to make coffee. I made really good coffee. She just didn’t like me.

Usually I wouldn’t care; but, her best friend happened to be the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. It was necessary to make an effort.

I met her glare with one of my own; finally, she spoke, “So, Mr. Graniteface, what is this-” she motioned between the two of us, “-about? Why did you want to meet before Janie arrives?”

I crossed my arms over my chest, preparing to negotiate; “We need to figure out some way to get along.”

“You’re right.” She didn’t look surprised by my statement.

“What is it about me that you dislike?”

She lifted her blonde eyebrows, “I don’t dislike you.”

I didn’t want to call her a liar so I didn’t respond.

After a protracted moment she continued, “It’s not that I dislike you. I just don’t trust you.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t understand your motivations and I still think you’re hiding something.” She mimicked my stance, crossing her arms over her chest. She was small and looked silly when she tried to appear tough.

“I’m not hiding anything-”

“Oh, really?” Elizabeth started rubbing her chin with her thumb and forefinger, “What did you do with Jem? What happened to all of the thugs from Boston? Why didn’t they press charges?”

“Janie and I discussed all of this. She knows that I took care it.”

Elizabeth didn’t hide her anger very well; “Well, Janie won’t tell me-”

“Probably for your own good-”

“I want to know what happened, I don’t want to be patted on the head and sent on my way! What if they come back? What about Janie-”

“Janie is stronger than you think and I’ll protect her if-”

“-I need to know so I can take care of her, you can’t protect her forever!” Elizabeth waved her arms around wildly. She was starting to draw attention to herself. I didn’t particularly care but it was annoying.

And, because I was annoyed, I responded without thinking, “Yes, I can. When we get married, she’ll be-”

“You’re getting married?!” Elizabeth’s shouted exclamation echoed against the porcelain tubs and drew all remaining eyes to our position.

I glanced around the store, offered nothing but an unfriendly glare in apology for her outburst, then took Elizabeth by the arm and escorted her to the back of the store. When I was satisfied that no one was listening or watching I responded in a low voice, “I haven’t asked her yet.”

Elizabeth blinked at me, her mouth opened and closed. I gave up and rolled my eyes.

When she finally spoke her voice was a tight whisper, “I can’t believe you’re going to ask her to marry you!” To my surprise she sounded excited, happy.

I blinked at her, my mouth opened and closed.

“Oh my God, you have to let me help! I want to help! This is so exciting!” She hopped back and forth on her feet, clapping her hands.

I responded through gritted teeth, “No. I don’t need your help. I can do it on my own.”

She stopped hopping and abruptly frowned. Her voice was still a whisper although somewhat louder, “See- this is why I don’t like you!”

“I thought you did like me-”

“No- I do like you, I like you for Janie, but I don’t like that you hide things! Why do you do that?”

I studied her. Elizabeth’s hands were back on her h*ps and at least she didn’t appear angry. She looked hurt. What I knew about Elizabeth I’d learned from Janie; it was obvious that Elizabeth had been taking care of Janie in one way or another since college. It occurred to me that I might need to modify my approach.

I licked my lips and glanced towards the door; what I was about to admit would be easier if I didn’t have to look at her, “I’m not used to sharing- information, resources… people.”

I heard her sigh before she spoke, “Well, me either. But I love Janie and what is important is her happiness, I want her to be happy-”

“You know I love her.” I growled; the preachy tenure of her words and tone instantly irritated me and my response and resulting glare was perfunctory.

“I know- I know you love her. But,” she held her hands up between us, her eyes wide and pacifying, her tone softening, “we have to find a way to get along- you said it yourself.” She added on a sigh, “We have to learn to share.”

I released a slow breath and reluctantly admitted to myself that Elizabeth was right, we had to share Janie. This was the issue. I didn’t know how to share her. I wasn’t even sure that I wanted to. Part of me wanted to stay in bed with her every second of every day and explore her perfect body. There was a ferocity behind the sentiment that still surprised me, caught me off guard. But, I loved her and that meant I needed to do things just because they were good for her, made her happy.

“Also, you might find that I’m pretty handy to have around.” Elizabeth’s mouth curved into a beseeching smile, “I’m a valuable ally. For example, I am exceptionally good with wound care.”

I allowed a half smile but I knew it didn’t quite reach my eyes. I comprehended that befriending Elizabeth was a much better strategy than merely tolerating her.

I rubbed my hand over my face; before I changed my mind, I quickly consented to her interference. “Ok. Fine.”

“Ok? Fine?”

I refocused my attention on the short blonde and found her watching me, her hands clasped together hopefully.

“Ok, fine you can help me-”

A high-pitched squealing sound met my ears and I winced; then, she hugged me. I patted her on the back, hoping to pacify this bit of overzealous effervescence.

“You won’t regret it! Oh my God, I’m so excited- have you picked out a ring?”

I was already regretting it but decided to keep that to myself.

“No. I haven’t done anything yet.” Crossing my arms over my chest I glanced at my watch then at the front door. Janie would be arriving at any minute and I didn’t want to be talking about engagement rings with Elizabeth when she showed up.

“That’s ok, I know what she likes. I can help with that- but don’t get her a diamond unless it’s synthetic because-”

“I know, I know- the atrocities of the African diamond trade. I was, uh, actually thinking about getting her something antique.”

Elizabeth glanced up thoughtfully then nodded, “Yeah, that’s a good idea- did you know she really loves rubies?”

The question promptly caught my attention. This was actual valuable information, “No, I didn’t know that.” Maybe Elizabeth could be helpful after all.