My luck had been used up. I was alive. And that’s how I wanted to keep it.

The room was the same exquisite openness. The huge bed groaned with mountains of pillows in blue and white, bringing the sea inside.

I didn’t know how long Suzette would spend with Tess. They were women after all—gossip came naturally.

Damn women. I wanted my woman. Now.

Standing in the centre of the room, my aches and pains took hold. A surge of loneliness squeezed my heart. I’m lonely. How f**king ridiculous. I was lonely for Tess. I just saw her.

I rolled my eyes, but nothing could stop the deserted feeling. I turned in place, intending to stalk across the suite and demand Suzette give Tess back to me. I needed comforting. Ha! Me. I wanted her—to distract my thoughts from what I’d lived through.

You can’t.

It would look f**king laughable. Limping to Tess like some child, begging for a hug. I wasn’t that weak and I damn well wouldn’t show Tess how screwed up I was.

Shit.

Lynx had done more than made me scream—he’d made me weak.

My body creaked as I moved. Considering a spa wasn’t an option, a shower would have to do. I needed to wash away the past. Least it gave me something to do—gave Suzette time to clear the f**k off.

The bathroom was simple but modern with a frameless glass shower and beige tiling. I eyed the shower, hankering for heat on my aching muscles. But getting undressed proved to be a bitch.

Twisting my torso, the borrowed t-shirt made my life a living hell trying to tug it over my head. Every angle felt like another baseball bat to my chest. Panting hard, I finally untangled myself only to have the same battle with my jeans.

“Goddammit.” I gritted my teeth as the denim slid down, revealing my legs covered in bruises and bandages.

It seemed the longer I was apart from Tess the more I hurt.

Another reason why I wouldn’t let her sleep without me.

I needed her more than any drug.

Turning on the water, I stood like a f**king pu**y. Water splashed into the drain, steaming and inviting but all I saw was death. Every droplet, so innocent, was a silent killer just waiting for me to step under the torrent.

Get in there, ass**le.

Balling my hands, I stepped under the spray. Every muscle locked; my heart exploded in fear. My eyes stayed wide, terrified my vision would be traded for a black towel. I’d never had an issue getting over things I’d done or caused. I’d never had a second thought of being shot or torturing others.

But this.

That bastard had stolen the simple pleasure of a shower. He’d taught me how to fear and I f**king hated it.

I threw my head back, drenching my hair and face. My heart went ballistic, my lips locked together, and my nostrils flared for breath.

You can breathe.

No one is trying to murder you.

I forced myself to stay under the spray. I locked my legs from running and endured.

My heartbeat thundered in my ears, but I kept my breathing slow and deep. Gradually getting control on my runaway emotions.

By the time I’d washed, rinsed, and soaped away the past few days, my heart rate was calmer and I wouldn’t make a fool of myself next time I needed a shower. It was just water.

Stepping from the steaming facilities, I looked down at the bandages on my legs. Drenched. Probably not a good thing to get them wet but I was past caring.

I was clean. And now I was bone-weary and ready to drop into a coma.

But not in an empty bed.

Not bothering to dry myself—that would require the use of a towel—not going to f**king happen—I padded barefoot and na**d through the house to the other wing. I hoped to God Suzette had left otherwise she would get an eyeful. Not that it seemed to matter. Most of my staff had seen me naked—hazards of the job.

A few bedrooms branched off the wide corridor; I peered into each one before I found my esclave.

Her room was shrouded in shadow, making the passed out figure in the centre of the bed look fragile, lonely—so f**king vulnerable.

She’d had a shower too, smelling of fruit and whatever shit was in the shampoo.

Inching into the room, I moved as silently as I could with a mangled body. My heart physically hurt looking at her. Her features were smudged by the night but her blonde hair glowed like a lighthouse, guiding me toward her.

Gently, I pulled the covers back, hissing between my teeth as I lowered my body from vertical to horizontal. The pressure of the mattress against my back was like a f**king bat all over again. The fronts of my legs stung as the sheets stuck to cuts not covered with bandages. Every inch of me groaned in agony.

But I didn’t care.

I didn’t care because I was in bed. Safe. Beside her.

Tess’s breathing changed as I shifted closer. Her form tensed into a tighter ball. “Q?”

“C'est moi.” It’s me.

Her body relaxed, radiating heat and welcome. Her hand came up, stroking my damp hair as I settled painfully onto my side. Her eyes met mine. “Are you okay?”

“Turn around, let me hug you. Ensuite, j’irai bien.” Then I will be.

Tess didn’t utter another word. Obediently, she turned over, pressing her bed-warmed body into mine.

The moment her form slotted against me in perfect synergy, the aches and bruises and cuts all faded into non-existence.

Nothing else mattered anymore. I was exactly where I wanted to be. For life.

I sighed heavily, breathing in the fruitiness of her hair. “God, I needed that. Needed you.”

She moaned as I wrapped an arm around her waist, trapping her against me. Already it was too hot beneath the covers but an atomic bomb would have to go off to tear me away.

My legs twitched as sleepiness attacked me fast and strong. So much for reminding her who owned who. My libido was in a coma already—tugging me down fast with it.

I yawned. “This. This is what I want for the rest of my life.”

Tess linked her fingers with mine, resting them over her breast. Her ass pressed harder into my cock. My belly fluttered—my c**k struggled to rise. But after everything I’d been through, it just wasn’t going to happen.

Tonight wasn’t about sex or domination. Tonight was about giving and taking. Feeding and sowing. Reconnection with gentleness rather than pain.

We’d both had enough.

The only thing I was capable of was holding Tess while I healed. I’d hit my final limit.

“You have me for the rest of your life, maître.” Tess snuggled closer, her body melting into mine.